(no subject)
Oh my God, this weather. This weather. I love it and I hate it and I hate that I hate it because it's so friggin' beautiful, but oh my God my joints. It got cool and wet today, and as soon as I walked out of my room (where it's all dry, dead air, adfhagd ew) into the living room where the windows are open (and it felt FANTASTIC, temperature-wise) it was like someone went crazy smackdown on every bone in my body, and it lingered in my knees, hips, shoulders (which keep feeling like they're going to fall out of place if I move much) and feet. And it hasn't gone away all day, but it gets worse if I'm outside / the door is open for too long. It's crazy, and clearly has to do with the BEAUTIFUL, RAINY, COOL WEATHER THAT I OTHERWISE ADORE. ADFHGAJTRJA WHY?
Anyway. Tonight was ....interesting. CR's "birthday party", and so there were a LOT of freaking people.
Which meant Erin had a minor panic attack in the food line (which wasn't a LINE so much as it was a curving snake of people weaving between tables and other people not in the line and adfhagjtrhba bad planning), and then a slightly bigger one trying to go back in to get a plate for my mom. adfhjtrj I do not like crowds, oh my God. So I curled up in my chair in my soundbooth and ate pretzels (omgsaltcravings) and had caffeine, and slowly calmed down.
I'm not even really sure WHY it sets me off like it does, because logically it's just people who also don't want to be in the crowd, mostly, and probably have no intent to harm me. Or trample me. Most of them I know, and most of them are really very nice people. Even the strangers around here are nice. I know that with my brain. I just somehow can't tell my panic gland to shut the hell up, or whatever.
Have to be back here early tomorrow; I practically live here, now. I'm not even kidding.
Anyway. Tonight was ....interesting. CR's "birthday party", and so there were a LOT of freaking people.
Which meant Erin had a minor panic attack in the food line (which wasn't a LINE so much as it was a curving snake of people weaving between tables and other people not in the line and adfhagjtrhba bad planning), and then a slightly bigger one trying to go back in to get a plate for my mom. adfhjtrj I do not like crowds, oh my God. So I curled up in my chair in my soundbooth and ate pretzels (omgsaltcravings) and had caffeine, and slowly calmed down.
I'm not even really sure WHY it sets me off like it does, because logically it's just people who also don't want to be in the crowd, mostly, and probably have no intent to harm me. Or trample me. Most of them I know, and most of them are really very nice people. Even the strangers around here are nice. I know that with my brain. I just somehow can't tell my panic gland to shut the hell up, or whatever.
Have to be back here early tomorrow; I practically live here, now. I'm not even kidding.