(no subject)
It's funny how when I'm sick I'm both the most and least social person on the face of the planet.
I don't want to be out and about near people, and people coming into my room are only permitted if it's for a few moments or they come bearing gifts to make me better. It's sort of like I'm crawling into the woods to die or something. But at the same time it makes me uncomfortable knowing family members aren't home, because my worry levels skyrocket when I'm sick, so even the fact that my sisters are at school bothers me and my mom being at work scares me and it's really weird, because even if they were here I wouldn't want them around because I don't want them getting sick / being loud / asking complicated questions and making my brain explode. I don't know.
What I do know is that being sick is like some kind of crazy miracle diet, because I must have lost a million and a half pounds this week so far, and I'm still not hungry. I've eaten a little bit (a tiny bit of dinner last night, cottage cheese this afternoon which is not great for my throat but that's totally the least of my worries right now) but I'm just not hungry and don't feel like eating. I've been drinking any beverage put in front of me though, or even ones not put in front of me because I slip out of my room in the dark of the night and get drinks because I am sickeningly thirsty all. the. time.
I don't know if I mentioned this before and quite honestly I'm too lazy to go look back and see, but yesterday colors and light were looking weird to me. Like, light was dimmer than it should have been, and colors looked like I was looking at them through some kind of filter that totally distorted them. Mostly things looked orange. Even my computer monitor looked orange, and dim, and it was weird because usually when I'm sick it's so bright I can't look at it, even with the settings turned down. So yeah, that was unsettling. Gone now, I woke up this morning going HOLY FRICK MY EYES because since it'd been dark-looking last night I'd turned up my light to full brightness in my room and thus, yeah, that happened. And it was strange, and I hope that doesn't happen more.
My head has stopped feeling like people are taking hammers to it when I cough - now I just get way dizzy. Which is much better, seriously - I can handle dizzy. I can't handle my brain leaking out my ears. I am going to try to write. Tralala?
I don't want to be out and about near people, and people coming into my room are only permitted if it's for a few moments or they come bearing gifts to make me better. It's sort of like I'm crawling into the woods to die or something. But at the same time it makes me uncomfortable knowing family members aren't home, because my worry levels skyrocket when I'm sick, so even the fact that my sisters are at school bothers me and my mom being at work scares me and it's really weird, because even if they were here I wouldn't want them around because I don't want them getting sick / being loud / asking complicated questions and making my brain explode. I don't know.
What I do know is that being sick is like some kind of crazy miracle diet, because I must have lost a million and a half pounds this week so far, and I'm still not hungry. I've eaten a little bit (a tiny bit of dinner last night, cottage cheese this afternoon which is not great for my throat but that's totally the least of my worries right now) but I'm just not hungry and don't feel like eating. I've been drinking any beverage put in front of me though, or even ones not put in front of me because I slip out of my room in the dark of the night and get drinks because I am sickeningly thirsty all. the. time.
I don't know if I mentioned this before and quite honestly I'm too lazy to go look back and see, but yesterday colors and light were looking weird to me. Like, light was dimmer than it should have been, and colors looked like I was looking at them through some kind of filter that totally distorted them. Mostly things looked orange. Even my computer monitor looked orange, and dim, and it was weird because usually when I'm sick it's so bright I can't look at it, even with the settings turned down. So yeah, that was unsettling. Gone now, I woke up this morning going HOLY FRICK MY EYES because since it'd been dark-looking last night I'd turned up my light to full brightness in my room and thus, yeah, that happened. And it was strange, and I hope that doesn't happen more.
My head has stopped feeling like people are taking hammers to it when I cough - now I just get way dizzy. Which is much better, seriously - I can handle dizzy. I can't handle my brain leaking out my ears. I am going to try to write. Tralala?