the forest is all wet
- feeling strange/kind of alienated in a strange new way. being out here in little vacuum land and wondering if i have any connection to any other world.
- thinking about returning to my life, what am i returning to?
- kind of wanting to travel but also wanting the relief of being home.
- feeling like the home that i am looking for is not going to be there.
- knowing that it's not there.
- trying to make oneself comfortable.
- comfortable, awake, aware, ready to talk and think.
- i think that i am almost done working on this painting that i am having a critique for tomorrow.
- other people talking on the phone to people from their lives.
- not talking to anyone outside of this place and kind of panicking.
- eating a massive amount of candy for some reason.
- building a sort of architecture in the forest out of painted trees and string and flowers that i planted that are from faraway places and would never ever grow in there. hoping that they will grow.
- only halfway thinking of that as a home, having it remain a site of delineation- a space for ritual, or for viewing. not wanting to colonize that spacw but attempting to grapple with the bewildering hugeness of the world and trying to make an icon for the sublime outside of the usual ones.
- i want to figure out how i can exist outside of the context of the city, because i really want to leave.
- i want to live outside and only kind of know how.
- i want to re-invent a culture, for myself.
- holding hands with myself.
- being forgetful.
- forget the pain of your past lives.
- thinking about returning to my life, what am i returning to?
- kind of wanting to travel but also wanting the relief of being home.
- feeling like the home that i am looking for is not going to be there.
- knowing that it's not there.
- trying to make oneself comfortable.
- comfortable, awake, aware, ready to talk and think.
- i think that i am almost done working on this painting that i am having a critique for tomorrow.
- other people talking on the phone to people from their lives.
- not talking to anyone outside of this place and kind of panicking.
- eating a massive amount of candy for some reason.
- building a sort of architecture in the forest out of painted trees and string and flowers that i planted that are from faraway places and would never ever grow in there. hoping that they will grow.
- only halfway thinking of that as a home, having it remain a site of delineation- a space for ritual, or for viewing. not wanting to colonize that spacw but attempting to grapple with the bewildering hugeness of the world and trying to make an icon for the sublime outside of the usual ones.
- i want to figure out how i can exist outside of the context of the city, because i really want to leave.
- i want to live outside and only kind of know how.
- i want to re-invent a culture, for myself.
- holding hands with myself.
- being forgetful.
- forget the pain of your past lives.