Fic: Hogwarts Has No Secrets
Title: Hogwarts Has No Secrets
Gift for: abbey1969 for the harry_holidays fest
Pairing/Characters: Severus Snape/Remus Lupin
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Moderately crackey, holiday party mayhem
HBP spoilers: No, with the exception of one character appearance
Author's Note: Thanks to my betas ridicu_liz and fair_olwen. Without their prodding, this fic would still not be done. abbey1969, I tried to get everything in - I do hope you enjoy! As for the rest of you, I hope you let me know what you think!
December 25, 1995
Severus Snape was assessing his appearance in the mirror as he meticulously cinched up his dress robes. Frowning, he undid the clasps and started over from scratch. These were his favorite robes - fitted, simple and elegant. He thought they complimented him completely. But tonight, inexplicably, he seemed unable to get them to look right.
"Damn, bloody robes," he muttered to himself through clenched teeth. "Every time I wear these they look flawless, but tonight…"
A knock on the door interrupted his train of thought. Rolling his eyes, he made his way to the door and opened it. He looked down to find Dobby, a house elf from the kitchens at Hogwarts. Dobby was looking at him with wide teary eyes, hesitant to speak. Severus spoke slowly to prevent his hexing of the creature. At least the elf hadn’t apparated directly in. Word must have spread after the last incident.
"Speak, elf. I haven't got all night."
"Professor Snape, sir. Professor Dumbledore is wanting you to have this, sir. So Dobby brings it to Professor Snape," babbled Dobby nervously as he lifted a small parchment.
Severus snatched it from the elf, dismissing him with a flick of his hand. He turned back quickly into his chamber and slammed the door. The last thing he needed was some covert Order assignment from Dumbledore right now. He had enough on his mind.
Taking another look at the mirror, he rolled his eyes and proceeded to sit down in his favorite chair. Sighing audibly, he unrolled the parchment to read its contents.
Severus,
I hope this evening finds you well. I thought I would inform you that we will be having a few special guests at our Christmas celebration this year. You are already aware of the students staying in the castle these holidays, but we are lucky enough to have Horace Slughorn, your former potions professor, and Remus Lupin in attendance. I trust that you don't have any issues with these last minute additions.
Enjoy yourself at the party,
Albus
The parchment transformed into a small Christmas tree that set itself up on Severus' mantle.
Typical, he thought to himself. He remembered a prior conversation with Dumbledore that ended up leading to social disaster.
****************
November 11, 1993
Remus Lupin had been brought into the Defense Against the Dark Arts position, much to the consternation of Severus Snape. His list on why he was annoyed by Lupin seemed to be growing by the day: 1) accomplice to his harassment while a student at Hogwarts; 2) took HIS job; 3) apparent "new best buddy" to Harry Potter; 4) not completely human; 5) stupid Gryffindor hack; 6) HIS BLOODY JOB. At first this list was entirely in his head, but Snape started to find pages of potions recipes with scribbles of what had become his "Remus obsession." By the Halloween feast, phrases such as "damn wolf", "Dumbledore's bloody staff pet" had transformed to "damn sexy wolf" and "Snape's personal bedroom pet." Severus could hardly concentrate on anything else. Everyone was noticing his change of behavior, including himself. It was disturbing. He barely registered surprise when the summons to see the Headmaster came through the fireplace.
"Ah, Severus. I'm so glad you could join me this afternoon. Tea?" Albus offered as Severus slumped into a chair in front of the Headmaster's desk.
He sipped the tea slowly, eyes down toward his feet. He could feel the soulful gaze on his face from the Headmaster. The silence was unnerving.
"Just spit it out, Albus!" Severus snapped after taking the last sip from the cup.
"I'm concerned, Severus," said Albus, banishing the tea service. "You're behaving, well, for lack of a better word, mental. I've gotten reports from several sources that your lessons aren't going well. And Filch has brought me many notes with your 'Remus' lists which have been found scattered around the castle."
Severus groaned. Albus rose from the desk to stand behind Severus and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"I understand what you do on your own time is yours, Severus, and I understand your need to have a love life. However, might I suggest a more direct method? One that doesn't involve potion ingredients lists? Why don't you plan an evening in your rooms to discuss 'Defense curriculum'? With a little cherry liqueur and floating tea-candles? You also might want to have those black satin sheets on the ready."
Severus turned his head around so fast that he heard every vertebra in his neck crack.
"Oh, don't give me that look, Severus. Every member of the staff knows you've been saving those sheets for a special occasion. The house elves know everything." Albus said with a wink.
****************
December 25, 1995
Severus grimaced at the memory of that talk with Albus. He, at that point in time, had not considered the idea of being involved with a man. He was supposed to get married to a respectable woman who appreciated his finer attributes. His lack of interest in women had never crossed his mind until that day. Even now, he wasn't entirely comfortable with any interest in men. He laughed at himself as he continued fussing with his robes. After reading the guest list, his appearance needed to be more than perfect. He had someone to impress.
****************
November 15, 1993
Severus was stewing over his last conversation with Albus as he walked to the staff lounge. More direct method, PUH!! thought Severus. He flung open the door and threw himself into an overstuffed chair by the fireplace.
Desperate in his attempt to gain his sanity back, he took Dumbledore's advice, though not entirely by choice. In the staff lounge, Minerva had swiped the note he'd written and forwarded it by school owl to Remus so there was no slithering out of the meeting.
"Minerva," he said silkily, "I do believe I could have handled that task on my own."
She giggled slightly and retorted, "Just consider it a guarantee on your personal investment, Severus. Oh, and don't forget the black eyeliner. It matches your robes perfectly and brings out your eyes."
He rose with a flourish and headed to dungeons to prepare his chambers accordingly. The cherry liqueur was chilled appropriately and waiting to be served. The black satin sheets were turned down, showing off their shine and depth. An unexpected visit by Flitwick had produced an amazing display of tea-candles all over the chamber. Severus was most impressed by the snake design sitting in his claw-footed bathtub.
The appointed hour was almost upon him when a knock sounded at his door. He opened to door expecting to find Remus, but instead, to his intense displeasure, he found one Sybil Trelawney.
"Sybil, this is NOT a good time. Why don't we make an appointment tomorrow?" Severus snarled at her.
She pushed her way in and was startled by what she saw.
"Oooooh, my inner eye told me something special was going on down here at this moment."
She looked around, padded right into his bed chamber and flopped down onto his meticulously prepared black satin sheets.
"Bloody hell, Sybil, get off!!" Severus raced in and attempted to pull her off the bed.
At that moment, Remus had appeared in the doorway, unbeknownst to the other parties. He headed toward the noises from the back. As he rounded into the doorway, he saw Severus being pulled down onto the bed by Sybil.
"Severus, you must have the inner eye!! It TOLD you how much I LOVE satin!" she breathed as she writhed on top of the sheets.
He was close enough to smell the sherry on her. During the eye roll that had started after her last declaration, he caught sight of the figure at the door.
Oh shit, REMUS!! Severus thought as he jumped off the bed with a start.
'Oh. I see you are busy at the moment, Severus." Remus said with a hint of disappointment as he looked down at his feet. "Er…I'll be going now."
As he turned to leave, Remus took a long view of the sitting area and sighed heavily. Severus watched the slumped profile of his obsession walk out of his chambers with a bit of regret. After a moment, his anger awakened and he turned toward the interruption still lying on his bed. He looked down at her with complete rancor and pointed to the door.
"OUT!!"
Sybil looked as scared as the first years did in potions class. She ran from the room as fast as she could, despite her slight list from the sherry.
Severus sat down on the edge of the bed. With elbows on knees and head in hands, he pondered how he would ever look Remus Lupin in the eye again, let alone talk to him. He looked up toward the sitting room, not noticing the smears of eyeliner decorating his hands.
****************
December 25, 1995
He finally got the clasps of the robes to sit perfectly.
"Ahhh. That's more like it!" Severus said with a small smile. Gazing at himself in the mirror for one last moment, he determined he was presentable for the upcoming festivities.
As he turned toward the door, he heard his mirror say, "Professor, you sure you don't want some eyeliner before you go? It so brings out your eyes!"
Severus whipped around and sent his mirror one of his patented glares usually reserved for Potter. He turned around with a flourish and started on his way to the celebration.
"Stupid mirror," he said quietly to himself. He was just about to turn up the stairs when he heard a loud crash from the Slytherin common room. He remembered that both Crabbe and Goyle were staying the holidays at Hogwarts this year. He marched to the door, stated "Malfoy is my dream" and made his way in.
I must have a word with Parkinson regarding the passwords, he thought before he took in the sight that was currently before him. Feathers were everywhere. One of the couches was charred with the remnants of a small fire still smoking. Chocolate was spilling from a bowl, making a pool next to the half naked body of Goyle. Next to him was Crabbe, with the same chocolate smeared all over his face and hair. Between the two was an untouched dessert. Severus walked to the two of them and gave them a thorough stare down, wondering how they had gotten into this situation.
"Boys, you both have a party to get to. As it is, you are late." Severus sighed loudly. "I never thought I'd see the day when a bowl of trifle with blanched almonds could send an evening so horribly awry. Fifty points from Slytherin for causing the common room to look like the results of a Longbottom potion."
The boys started to get up and protest, but Severus held up a hand to silence them.
"Don't make me have you pick this up WITHOUT magic. Get cleaned up and present yourselves upstairs."
With robes billowing, he stalked out, shaking his head at what he had just seen. The giddy mood he had been in over Remus' presence tonight had disappeared with the antics of his students.
****************
December 18, 1993
It had been three weeks since Remus had been to Severus' chambers and was turned away because of that drunk Trelawney and her idiotic inner eye. She hadn't been seen since then and had even cancelled classes. Severus hoped it was due to the hangover extending potion he had the house elves deliver to her. Serves her right, the old bat, he thought as he relived the memory of that night for the thousandth time.
Patience was something that didn't come easily to Severus and what little he had was officially gone. His original assessment had been correct - he hadn't been able to look Remus in the eye. This was mostly due to Remus' complete avoidance of him. Quick exits from the teacher's lounge, not eating in the Great Hall - Severus noticed every single change of behavior. All house points were hovering near zero as potions classes seemed to be particularly difficult as of late. Severus' mood was getting worse by the day.
In no mood to discuss any of this, Severus trudged down the hall and snarled "treacle tart" at the gargoyle. The last time he listened to the headmaster, it ended in disaster. More Dumbledore "advice" was not to be heeded. Seated in front of the desk again, Severus waited for Albus to make an appearance.
Albus walked in slowly from the back, silent until he was standing behind the desk.
"Severus, you are single-handedly giving every student in this school a complex. Your point deductions are having effects in other teachers' classes. I won't even start to describe the transfigurations that have occurred due to a lack of confidence."
Albus sat down to face Severus. "Is there anything I can do to help…"
Severus waved a hand to stop Albus from going further. "Albus, I think I can handle any issues you think I may have by myself. I think you have done quite enough. Good day."
He shot up out of the chair and down the staircase. Albus has meddled in this for the last time, he thought as he entered his classroom and private office. Fine..I won’t give him anything to meddle in. He scratched red ink furiously as he graded the fourth years' potions papers. He wouldn't pay Remus Lupin a second glance from here on out.
And he kept to his resolution for the remainder of the year. Remus had taken Potter under his wing and that was too great of a reminder to Severus of the harassment he had been dealt during his school days by the Marauders. He refused to let his heart be broken by the likes of Remus Lupin.
****************
December 25, 1995
Severus was still shaking his head as he headed to the doors of the Great Hall. The noises of holiday celebration could be heard inside. Glancing side to side, ensuring that no one was observing, he quickly checked his appearance. His snakeskin shoes were gleaming in perfection. He opened the doors slowly and made his way in as inconspicuously as possible.
The party was in full swing as he entered. To his dismay, Minerva picked up on his entrance straight away.
"Severus! It's about time you decided to grace us with your presence! Here, have a miniature Christmas pudding - the house elves outdid themselves this year and made twice as many as last year!"
Minerva flitted off, leaving Severus to stare at the little pudding cup in his hand. What the hell? he thought to himself. He quickly sucked the pudding up and 'evanesco'd' the dish. Not bad..not bad, indeed and a slight smile appeared on his face.
Before he scanned the crowd to see who was present, Severus felt a pair of eyes on him. He turned his head and found himself looking right at Remus Lupin. Snape arched an eyebrow and gave Remus a lingering up and down look. Before he registered Remus' stunned look, Severus turned toward the refreshments table. He had to break the look from Remus before he lost his composure. The former Defense Against the Dark Arts professor was still a stunning visage. It was a moment Severus had silently looked forward to but was still unprepared for. He found the mulled mead, poured a glass and drank it down with one gulp. The warmth of the drink helped to calm his nerves. He poured a second glass and moved to the outskirts of the room to observe the festivities.
****************
December 25, 1995 - later that evening
Severus had been silently observing the staff and students slowly move into various states of drunkenness, including himself, for that matter. Crabbe and Goyle had finally made it up to join the festivities after Severus had charged them with clean-up duty in the common room. He shuddered at the thought of whatever it was he had interrupted. The boys had become quite attached to the miniature Christmas puddings Severus himself had indulged in upon arrival. As Severus thought more thoroughly about it, he realized that the twosome had eaten ALL the puddings set out on the table, including those that appeared after the first platefuls had disappeared.
Suddenly, both boys collapsed on the floor, clutching their stomachs and moaning in pain. A loud "crack" sounded and Crabbe and Goyle had turned into six small pairs of Crabbe and Goyle. They had become drummers playing a song in unison. A few moments later another loud "crack" was heard and the 12 morphed into 11 pipers piping. Severus groaned as he realized what was happening. His muggle father had sung the insipid song to him at Christmas time - saying it was code for the Catholic faith during the time of the religious wars in Britain. While that aspect might have intrigued him as an adult, as a child it was the longest song in the history of earth.
A crowd had developed around Crabbe and Goyle as they moved into the 10 lords a-leaping. The Great Hall filled with laughter. Another "crack" and they were the 9 ladies dancing. At this point, Severus pulled out his wand. He noticed Minerva was unsuccessfully trying to stifle unbridled laughter. He shot her a look.
"If I see any type of Milking Maids, YOU are going to need a bucket for body parts! Stupefy!"
All versions of Crabbe and Goyle fell unconscious to the floor.
"Mobilicorpus."
The 9 ladies were levitated out of the Great Hall ahead of Severus. The room was silent after Severus had put an end to the Crabbe and Goyle show.
"Albus, I'll be taking these two up to the hospital wing where they should be able to finish out the charm and return to their singular selves. Madame Pomfrey, would you mind following me up?"
Severus shot Poppy a look that caused her to jump from her chair, causing an inebriated Sybil Trelawney to topple over.
"Oh, and Minerva? Try to lay of the Weasley products at this type of event, eh?"
****************
December 25, 1995 - almost midnight
Severus returned to the party after leaving his students in Poppy's capable hands. Someone had found the stash of muggle Christmas music so the strains of Andy Williams filled the hall. He had just finished a trademark Snape eyeroll when his gaze was met by Remus. Remus smiled slightly as he grabbed two glasses of mead and walked over.
"You look like you need one of these, Professor Snape," said Remus as he handed over the cup. "How are Slytherin's favorite lackeys?"
Severus shot him a glare. "They will recover nicely. Let's hope the Weasley twins don't renew their acquaintance anytime soon. Oh, and thank you for the mead."
Remus laughed. Severus watched - how his laugh made his face move and how Remus' spirit would show for just a bit as he did - and felt his guard relax just a little.
"You are one lucky man to have received that cup of mead. It is in high demand tonight - I've seen that bowl refill countless times. I have my suspicions on who the culprit may be…"
Before he could finish, the music changed from a Christmas melody to a raunchy song that caused everyone to still and look toward the only movement in the room.
"Oh my…" breathed Severus, not able to take his eyes of the spectacle forming in front of him.
Minerva had started dancing to the music. She pulled the pins from her head, allowing her hair to flow freely down her back. She was swaying slowly back and forth, unclasping the pin that held her plaid sash.
"Remus, how much has she had to drink?" Severus whispered, forgetting, for a moment, his nervousness about the man standing next to him.
"I lost count about an hour ago. She was hitting the mead pretty hard - even more than Sybil, I think." Remus whispered back.
Severus let a "D'oh!" slip before he could stop it. But it wasn’t heard over the noise coming from the audience in the Hall. The hem of Minerva's robe was slowly rising in time with the music.
Oh this is NOT happening, thought Severus as the hem rose higher and higher. He glanced at Remus.
"Note to self - too much mulled mead plus access to this music equals more leg than is strictly decent at a Christmas party. You are prepared to execute memory charms on the students before they leave this room, yes?" Severus arched an eyebrow at Remus.
Remus broke into a large grin and he then doubled over with laughter. As he rose back to his full height, a look of shock passed over his face. Severus turned with a start. Minerva had taken on a dance partner - one who apparently wasn't all that willing. She had managed to get Albus, of all people, flat on his back while she sat atop him.
"If you can't lie back and think of England, then lie back and think of Scotland, for the love of Merlin!!!" she yelled at him.
"Uh, I don’t even want to know what part of that conversation we missed. Another mead, Remus?"
"Yes, please."
As Severus headed to the refreshment table, Remus caught up with Seamus Finnegan - one of the many Gryffindors who had stayed over the holidays.
"Mr. Finnegan, I'm in need of your assistance. Would you please go up to the Tower and bring back a vial of that hangover potion you make? Now, now, don't give me that look, Seamus - everyone is aware of your skill with that particular draught. Hogwarts has no secrets." Remus said with a wink.
Seamus nodded and headed up to retrieve the request.
Severus returned with two filled glasses. "Ah, getting some of Finnegan's potion for Minerva. That will be useful."
"I'm expecting her to pass out at any time. Oh, and while I'm thinking about it…"
Remus swished his wand and the Christmas music returned to the Hall.
"Hey, Severus, there's a table open. Uh, would you like to sit down for a bit?" Remus looked down at the ground as he asked.
Reality came crashing back around Severus as he remembered why he was here, why he had taken meticulous care in getting ready. He was completely uncertain what to do. His past attempts with Remus had always ended disastrously. He glared at Sybil unconsciously.
"Sit, at a table?" Severus asked uncertainly, trying to keep his visage of smugness.
Remus chuckled and headed over to the nearest empty table.
"For Merlin's sake, Severus, the table won't bite - unless it came from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes!" He said with a teasing smile as he sat down, not taking his eyes off of Severus.
Aware of the eyes upon him, Severus headed to the table dramatically, robes billowing as he made his way to the chair and ensuring they danced around him as he sat down. Albus had been observing and smiled knowingly to himself.
No sooner had Severus sat down, than the door of the Great Hall opened up to reveal what might be called the spectacle of the evening. Every eye in the room was staring at the entrance, and couldn’t take them off of what had walked in.
A vision of silver sparkle had entered the Hall, trailing a brushing of snow behind it. It appeared that fairies were circling this visage as it glided into the room. A silver tiara radiated from her head. A beautiful snow princess had joined the party.
Albus was the first to speak once the princess had ended her promenade.
"Professor Slughorn - so good of you to join us!! And what a beautiful outfit you're wearing. Might I offer you some mead?"
Horace Slughorn, former head of Slytherin house, standing tall, slid toward Albus and gracefully took the cup from the headmaster.
"Ah, Albus. You knew it would take a bit of trickery to get me back to this school after my retirement! I see I am the only one who paid attention to the theme aspect of this party?"
"Horace, my friend, this is simply a Christmas party, like all other Christmas parties we've had at Hogwarts. I dare say you make a most beautiful princess!" Albus bowed deeply as subjects would to their royalty.
"Merlin's ghost, Albus! How much mead have you had?"
Albus rose respectfully and replied with a wink and twinkle in his eye, "Horace, the party started hours ago, how much do you think?"
Severus and Remus had been watching the scene play out from their table. They looked at each other simultaneously. They lifted their glasses, clinked them together and downed the contents in one swallow. As they set the cups down, both exploded into uncontrollable laughter and both cups refilled the moment they touched the table.
****************
December 26, 1995 - early morning
The party was starting to wind down - Albus had to "spell" the way home for both Minerva and Sybil, but not until the more sober of the staff had made sure all the students were safely in their common rooms. Severus and Remus had fallen into a comfortable repartee for the remainder of the evening, alternately talking, laughing and drinking countless cups of the fabulous Christmas mead.
"Remus, you aren't trying to head out of here tonight, are you?" Severus asked with a slight slur to his voice.
Remus chuckled. "No, Albus offered me empty quarters just down the hall. Besides, the chances of my splinching myself right now are pretty good."
Severus smiled. Remus was just looking at him, noticing that it seemed very genuine. He couldn't take his eyes off Severus' face nor could he stop thinking about how attractive this man was.
"Why do you ask, Severus? Need a hand down to the dungeons? We wouldn't want you drinking and trudging down to those quarters of yours."
Severus rolled his eyes. "I can stumble to the dungeons quite well on my own, thank you very much! But since you've offered, I accept."
Oh Merlin, did I really just say that? Severus thought as he rose from the chair. He started to sway before he felt strong hands helping him get straight.
"My pleasure, Severus, my pleasure." The twosome headed toward the door. "Besides, the party's about shut down. No sense in waiting for the 'crowd' to leave."
They took their time getting down to the dungeon, with Severus enjoying every second he felt Remus' hands on him, steadying him down the stairs. By the time they reached the door to Severus' chambers, both were giggling at the sight they must make.
"OK, OK, let me get my password out. Hmmm. Let's see. Merlin, what did I change it to?" His forehead crinkled while attempting to retrieve the information in his impaired state.
"First years drool….No."
"Snakes, snails and puppydog tails…No."
Remus was shaking violently while trying to not roll over and laugh manically out loud.
"Ah yes, I remember now…Wolfsbane."
Remus smiled broadly when he heard this. The door swung open and Remus led Severus through the door. Both, at that moment, experienced a moment of déjà vu. The chambers were decorated exactly as they were on the ill-fated night when Remus was a professor there. Cherry liquer, candles, black satin sheets. Severus walked to the bathroom where the snake design in floating tea-candles had reappeared.
"Remus, please shut the door and ward it. Specifically against Sybil, if you please."
He nodded and did as he was requested.
"Severus, your room is decorated as it was when you invited me down here the last time."
"Uh, yes. This wasn't planned. I have a feeling a particular house elf, at the behest of a certain headmaster, felt we needed some help." Severus drawled.
"May I look around? I never got to see it properly the first time."
Severus waved his hand to indicate "go ahead" and watched the other man roam slowly through his chambers. He observed each decoration. He went to the bathroom and came out impressed by the tea-candle display in there.
He turned to Severus as he walked to the bed chamber. "That tub has Flitwick's signature all over it. The display is brilliant. How did you convince him to do that?"
"Oh, I didn't have to. Our original date was a group Hogwarts production."
Remus smiled at him. He had reached the bed and dragged his hand along the sheets.
"Wow, the famous Snape black satin sheets - only to be used for 'special occassions'."
Severus snorted. "Does EVERYONE know about my sheets, for the love of Merlin?"
Remus slowly walked back to where Severus was standing. Getting very close to the potions master he whispered "Hogwarts has no secrets."
Severus inhaled deeply, taking in the unique scent of the man in front of him and whispered back.
"If there's anything I've learned in all these years, it's this: any man who says he doesn't find your arse gorgeous is a filthy liar. A filthy liar who will find justice only when he passes from this world to the next, and meets his maker. And that, my friend, is when he will learn the true value of honesty."
Remus took half a step back with a look of wonderment. Severus met his eyes, looking for the soul of man in front of him. After a moment he leaned in and kissed Remus gently. He felt arms slide around his waist and pull him close. Severus reached up and cradled the face of the man he had been fantasizing about for years, almost not believing this moment was real.
Severus gently pulled back. "To think that so much time has passed, time that I could've been basking in this."
He took Remus by the hand and led him to the bed.
"I insist, Remus. You should be the one who enjoys these sheets first. I've been saving them for you. You were always the 'special occasion'."
-fin-
Gift for: abbey1969 for the harry_holidays fest
Pairing/Characters: Severus Snape/Remus Lupin
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Moderately crackey, holiday party mayhem
HBP spoilers: No, with the exception of one character appearance
Author's Note: Thanks to my betas ridicu_liz and fair_olwen. Without their prodding, this fic would still not be done. abbey1969, I tried to get everything in - I do hope you enjoy! As for the rest of you, I hope you let me know what you think!
December 25, 1995
Severus Snape was assessing his appearance in the mirror as he meticulously cinched up his dress robes. Frowning, he undid the clasps and started over from scratch. These were his favorite robes - fitted, simple and elegant. He thought they complimented him completely. But tonight, inexplicably, he seemed unable to get them to look right.
"Damn, bloody robes," he muttered to himself through clenched teeth. "Every time I wear these they look flawless, but tonight…"
A knock on the door interrupted his train of thought. Rolling his eyes, he made his way to the door and opened it. He looked down to find Dobby, a house elf from the kitchens at Hogwarts. Dobby was looking at him with wide teary eyes, hesitant to speak. Severus spoke slowly to prevent his hexing of the creature. At least the elf hadn’t apparated directly in. Word must have spread after the last incident.
"Speak, elf. I haven't got all night."
"Professor Snape, sir. Professor Dumbledore is wanting you to have this, sir. So Dobby brings it to Professor Snape," babbled Dobby nervously as he lifted a small parchment.
Severus snatched it from the elf, dismissing him with a flick of his hand. He turned back quickly into his chamber and slammed the door. The last thing he needed was some covert Order assignment from Dumbledore right now. He had enough on his mind.
Taking another look at the mirror, he rolled his eyes and proceeded to sit down in his favorite chair. Sighing audibly, he unrolled the parchment to read its contents.
Severus,
I hope this evening finds you well. I thought I would inform you that we will be having a few special guests at our Christmas celebration this year. You are already aware of the students staying in the castle these holidays, but we are lucky enough to have Horace Slughorn, your former potions professor, and Remus Lupin in attendance. I trust that you don't have any issues with these last minute additions.
Enjoy yourself at the party,
Albus
The parchment transformed into a small Christmas tree that set itself up on Severus' mantle.
Typical, he thought to himself. He remembered a prior conversation with Dumbledore that ended up leading to social disaster.
****************
November 11, 1993
Remus Lupin had been brought into the Defense Against the Dark Arts position, much to the consternation of Severus Snape. His list on why he was annoyed by Lupin seemed to be growing by the day: 1) accomplice to his harassment while a student at Hogwarts; 2) took HIS job; 3) apparent "new best buddy" to Harry Potter; 4) not completely human; 5) stupid Gryffindor hack; 6) HIS BLOODY JOB. At first this list was entirely in his head, but Snape started to find pages of potions recipes with scribbles of what had become his "Remus obsession." By the Halloween feast, phrases such as "damn wolf", "Dumbledore's bloody staff pet" had transformed to "damn sexy wolf" and "Snape's personal bedroom pet." Severus could hardly concentrate on anything else. Everyone was noticing his change of behavior, including himself. It was disturbing. He barely registered surprise when the summons to see the Headmaster came through the fireplace.
"Ah, Severus. I'm so glad you could join me this afternoon. Tea?" Albus offered as Severus slumped into a chair in front of the Headmaster's desk.
He sipped the tea slowly, eyes down toward his feet. He could feel the soulful gaze on his face from the Headmaster. The silence was unnerving.
"Just spit it out, Albus!" Severus snapped after taking the last sip from the cup.
"I'm concerned, Severus," said Albus, banishing the tea service. "You're behaving, well, for lack of a better word, mental. I've gotten reports from several sources that your lessons aren't going well. And Filch has brought me many notes with your 'Remus' lists which have been found scattered around the castle."
Severus groaned. Albus rose from the desk to stand behind Severus and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"I understand what you do on your own time is yours, Severus, and I understand your need to have a love life. However, might I suggest a more direct method? One that doesn't involve potion ingredients lists? Why don't you plan an evening in your rooms to discuss 'Defense curriculum'? With a little cherry liqueur and floating tea-candles? You also might want to have those black satin sheets on the ready."
Severus turned his head around so fast that he heard every vertebra in his neck crack.
"Oh, don't give me that look, Severus. Every member of the staff knows you've been saving those sheets for a special occasion. The house elves know everything." Albus said with a wink.
****************
December 25, 1995
Severus grimaced at the memory of that talk with Albus. He, at that point in time, had not considered the idea of being involved with a man. He was supposed to get married to a respectable woman who appreciated his finer attributes. His lack of interest in women had never crossed his mind until that day. Even now, he wasn't entirely comfortable with any interest in men. He laughed at himself as he continued fussing with his robes. After reading the guest list, his appearance needed to be more than perfect. He had someone to impress.
****************
November 15, 1993
Severus was stewing over his last conversation with Albus as he walked to the staff lounge. More direct method, PUH!! thought Severus. He flung open the door and threw himself into an overstuffed chair by the fireplace.
Desperate in his attempt to gain his sanity back, he took Dumbledore's advice, though not entirely by choice. In the staff lounge, Minerva had swiped the note he'd written and forwarded it by school owl to Remus so there was no slithering out of the meeting.
"Minerva," he said silkily, "I do believe I could have handled that task on my own."
She giggled slightly and retorted, "Just consider it a guarantee on your personal investment, Severus. Oh, and don't forget the black eyeliner. It matches your robes perfectly and brings out your eyes."
He rose with a flourish and headed to dungeons to prepare his chambers accordingly. The cherry liqueur was chilled appropriately and waiting to be served. The black satin sheets were turned down, showing off their shine and depth. An unexpected visit by Flitwick had produced an amazing display of tea-candles all over the chamber. Severus was most impressed by the snake design sitting in his claw-footed bathtub.
The appointed hour was almost upon him when a knock sounded at his door. He opened to door expecting to find Remus, but instead, to his intense displeasure, he found one Sybil Trelawney.
"Sybil, this is NOT a good time. Why don't we make an appointment tomorrow?" Severus snarled at her.
She pushed her way in and was startled by what she saw.
"Oooooh, my inner eye told me something special was going on down here at this moment."
She looked around, padded right into his bed chamber and flopped down onto his meticulously prepared black satin sheets.
"Bloody hell, Sybil, get off!!" Severus raced in and attempted to pull her off the bed.
At that moment, Remus had appeared in the doorway, unbeknownst to the other parties. He headed toward the noises from the back. As he rounded into the doorway, he saw Severus being pulled down onto the bed by Sybil.
"Severus, you must have the inner eye!! It TOLD you how much I LOVE satin!" she breathed as she writhed on top of the sheets.
He was close enough to smell the sherry on her. During the eye roll that had started after her last declaration, he caught sight of the figure at the door.
Oh shit, REMUS!! Severus thought as he jumped off the bed with a start.
'Oh. I see you are busy at the moment, Severus." Remus said with a hint of disappointment as he looked down at his feet. "Er…I'll be going now."
As he turned to leave, Remus took a long view of the sitting area and sighed heavily. Severus watched the slumped profile of his obsession walk out of his chambers with a bit of regret. After a moment, his anger awakened and he turned toward the interruption still lying on his bed. He looked down at her with complete rancor and pointed to the door.
"OUT!!"
Sybil looked as scared as the first years did in potions class. She ran from the room as fast as she could, despite her slight list from the sherry.
Severus sat down on the edge of the bed. With elbows on knees and head in hands, he pondered how he would ever look Remus Lupin in the eye again, let alone talk to him. He looked up toward the sitting room, not noticing the smears of eyeliner decorating his hands.
****************
December 25, 1995
He finally got the clasps of the robes to sit perfectly.
"Ahhh. That's more like it!" Severus said with a small smile. Gazing at himself in the mirror for one last moment, he determined he was presentable for the upcoming festivities.
As he turned toward the door, he heard his mirror say, "Professor, you sure you don't want some eyeliner before you go? It so brings out your eyes!"
Severus whipped around and sent his mirror one of his patented glares usually reserved for Potter. He turned around with a flourish and started on his way to the celebration.
"Stupid mirror," he said quietly to himself. He was just about to turn up the stairs when he heard a loud crash from the Slytherin common room. He remembered that both Crabbe and Goyle were staying the holidays at Hogwarts this year. He marched to the door, stated "Malfoy is my dream" and made his way in.
I must have a word with Parkinson regarding the passwords, he thought before he took in the sight that was currently before him. Feathers were everywhere. One of the couches was charred with the remnants of a small fire still smoking. Chocolate was spilling from a bowl, making a pool next to the half naked body of Goyle. Next to him was Crabbe, with the same chocolate smeared all over his face and hair. Between the two was an untouched dessert. Severus walked to the two of them and gave them a thorough stare down, wondering how they had gotten into this situation.
"Boys, you both have a party to get to. As it is, you are late." Severus sighed loudly. "I never thought I'd see the day when a bowl of trifle with blanched almonds could send an evening so horribly awry. Fifty points from Slytherin for causing the common room to look like the results of a Longbottom potion."
The boys started to get up and protest, but Severus held up a hand to silence them.
"Don't make me have you pick this up WITHOUT magic. Get cleaned up and present yourselves upstairs."
With robes billowing, he stalked out, shaking his head at what he had just seen. The giddy mood he had been in over Remus' presence tonight had disappeared with the antics of his students.
****************
December 18, 1993
It had been three weeks since Remus had been to Severus' chambers and was turned away because of that drunk Trelawney and her idiotic inner eye. She hadn't been seen since then and had even cancelled classes. Severus hoped it was due to the hangover extending potion he had the house elves deliver to her. Serves her right, the old bat, he thought as he relived the memory of that night for the thousandth time.
Patience was something that didn't come easily to Severus and what little he had was officially gone. His original assessment had been correct - he hadn't been able to look Remus in the eye. This was mostly due to Remus' complete avoidance of him. Quick exits from the teacher's lounge, not eating in the Great Hall - Severus noticed every single change of behavior. All house points were hovering near zero as potions classes seemed to be particularly difficult as of late. Severus' mood was getting worse by the day.
In no mood to discuss any of this, Severus trudged down the hall and snarled "treacle tart" at the gargoyle. The last time he listened to the headmaster, it ended in disaster. More Dumbledore "advice" was not to be heeded. Seated in front of the desk again, Severus waited for Albus to make an appearance.
Albus walked in slowly from the back, silent until he was standing behind the desk.
"Severus, you are single-handedly giving every student in this school a complex. Your point deductions are having effects in other teachers' classes. I won't even start to describe the transfigurations that have occurred due to a lack of confidence."
Albus sat down to face Severus. "Is there anything I can do to help…"
Severus waved a hand to stop Albus from going further. "Albus, I think I can handle any issues you think I may have by myself. I think you have done quite enough. Good day."
He shot up out of the chair and down the staircase. Albus has meddled in this for the last time, he thought as he entered his classroom and private office. Fine..I won’t give him anything to meddle in. He scratched red ink furiously as he graded the fourth years' potions papers. He wouldn't pay Remus Lupin a second glance from here on out.
And he kept to his resolution for the remainder of the year. Remus had taken Potter under his wing and that was too great of a reminder to Severus of the harassment he had been dealt during his school days by the Marauders. He refused to let his heart be broken by the likes of Remus Lupin.
****************
December 25, 1995
Severus was still shaking his head as he headed to the doors of the Great Hall. The noises of holiday celebration could be heard inside. Glancing side to side, ensuring that no one was observing, he quickly checked his appearance. His snakeskin shoes were gleaming in perfection. He opened the doors slowly and made his way in as inconspicuously as possible.
The party was in full swing as he entered. To his dismay, Minerva picked up on his entrance straight away.
"Severus! It's about time you decided to grace us with your presence! Here, have a miniature Christmas pudding - the house elves outdid themselves this year and made twice as many as last year!"
Minerva flitted off, leaving Severus to stare at the little pudding cup in his hand. What the hell? he thought to himself. He quickly sucked the pudding up and 'evanesco'd' the dish. Not bad..not bad, indeed and a slight smile appeared on his face.
Before he scanned the crowd to see who was present, Severus felt a pair of eyes on him. He turned his head and found himself looking right at Remus Lupin. Snape arched an eyebrow and gave Remus a lingering up and down look. Before he registered Remus' stunned look, Severus turned toward the refreshments table. He had to break the look from Remus before he lost his composure. The former Defense Against the Dark Arts professor was still a stunning visage. It was a moment Severus had silently looked forward to but was still unprepared for. He found the mulled mead, poured a glass and drank it down with one gulp. The warmth of the drink helped to calm his nerves. He poured a second glass and moved to the outskirts of the room to observe the festivities.
****************
December 25, 1995 - later that evening
Severus had been silently observing the staff and students slowly move into various states of drunkenness, including himself, for that matter. Crabbe and Goyle had finally made it up to join the festivities after Severus had charged them with clean-up duty in the common room. He shuddered at the thought of whatever it was he had interrupted. The boys had become quite attached to the miniature Christmas puddings Severus himself had indulged in upon arrival. As Severus thought more thoroughly about it, he realized that the twosome had eaten ALL the puddings set out on the table, including those that appeared after the first platefuls had disappeared.
Suddenly, both boys collapsed on the floor, clutching their stomachs and moaning in pain. A loud "crack" sounded and Crabbe and Goyle had turned into six small pairs of Crabbe and Goyle. They had become drummers playing a song in unison. A few moments later another loud "crack" was heard and the 12 morphed into 11 pipers piping. Severus groaned as he realized what was happening. His muggle father had sung the insipid song to him at Christmas time - saying it was code for the Catholic faith during the time of the religious wars in Britain. While that aspect might have intrigued him as an adult, as a child it was the longest song in the history of earth.
A crowd had developed around Crabbe and Goyle as they moved into the 10 lords a-leaping. The Great Hall filled with laughter. Another "crack" and they were the 9 ladies dancing. At this point, Severus pulled out his wand. He noticed Minerva was unsuccessfully trying to stifle unbridled laughter. He shot her a look.
"If I see any type of Milking Maids, YOU are going to need a bucket for body parts! Stupefy!"
All versions of Crabbe and Goyle fell unconscious to the floor.
"Mobilicorpus."
The 9 ladies were levitated out of the Great Hall ahead of Severus. The room was silent after Severus had put an end to the Crabbe and Goyle show.
"Albus, I'll be taking these two up to the hospital wing where they should be able to finish out the charm and return to their singular selves. Madame Pomfrey, would you mind following me up?"
Severus shot Poppy a look that caused her to jump from her chair, causing an inebriated Sybil Trelawney to topple over.
"Oh, and Minerva? Try to lay of the Weasley products at this type of event, eh?"
****************
December 25, 1995 - almost midnight
Severus returned to the party after leaving his students in Poppy's capable hands. Someone had found the stash of muggle Christmas music so the strains of Andy Williams filled the hall. He had just finished a trademark Snape eyeroll when his gaze was met by Remus. Remus smiled slightly as he grabbed two glasses of mead and walked over.
"You look like you need one of these, Professor Snape," said Remus as he handed over the cup. "How are Slytherin's favorite lackeys?"
Severus shot him a glare. "They will recover nicely. Let's hope the Weasley twins don't renew their acquaintance anytime soon. Oh, and thank you for the mead."
Remus laughed. Severus watched - how his laugh made his face move and how Remus' spirit would show for just a bit as he did - and felt his guard relax just a little.
"You are one lucky man to have received that cup of mead. It is in high demand tonight - I've seen that bowl refill countless times. I have my suspicions on who the culprit may be…"
Before he could finish, the music changed from a Christmas melody to a raunchy song that caused everyone to still and look toward the only movement in the room.
"Oh my…" breathed Severus, not able to take his eyes of the spectacle forming in front of him.
Minerva had started dancing to the music. She pulled the pins from her head, allowing her hair to flow freely down her back. She was swaying slowly back and forth, unclasping the pin that held her plaid sash.
"Remus, how much has she had to drink?" Severus whispered, forgetting, for a moment, his nervousness about the man standing next to him.
"I lost count about an hour ago. She was hitting the mead pretty hard - even more than Sybil, I think." Remus whispered back.
Severus let a "D'oh!" slip before he could stop it. But it wasn’t heard over the noise coming from the audience in the Hall. The hem of Minerva's robe was slowly rising in time with the music.
Oh this is NOT happening, thought Severus as the hem rose higher and higher. He glanced at Remus.
"Note to self - too much mulled mead plus access to this music equals more leg than is strictly decent at a Christmas party. You are prepared to execute memory charms on the students before they leave this room, yes?" Severus arched an eyebrow at Remus.
Remus broke into a large grin and he then doubled over with laughter. As he rose back to his full height, a look of shock passed over his face. Severus turned with a start. Minerva had taken on a dance partner - one who apparently wasn't all that willing. She had managed to get Albus, of all people, flat on his back while she sat atop him.
"If you can't lie back and think of England, then lie back and think of Scotland, for the love of Merlin!!!" she yelled at him.
"Uh, I don’t even want to know what part of that conversation we missed. Another mead, Remus?"
"Yes, please."
As Severus headed to the refreshment table, Remus caught up with Seamus Finnegan - one of the many Gryffindors who had stayed over the holidays.
"Mr. Finnegan, I'm in need of your assistance. Would you please go up to the Tower and bring back a vial of that hangover potion you make? Now, now, don't give me that look, Seamus - everyone is aware of your skill with that particular draught. Hogwarts has no secrets." Remus said with a wink.
Seamus nodded and headed up to retrieve the request.
Severus returned with two filled glasses. "Ah, getting some of Finnegan's potion for Minerva. That will be useful."
"I'm expecting her to pass out at any time. Oh, and while I'm thinking about it…"
Remus swished his wand and the Christmas music returned to the Hall.
"Hey, Severus, there's a table open. Uh, would you like to sit down for a bit?" Remus looked down at the ground as he asked.
Reality came crashing back around Severus as he remembered why he was here, why he had taken meticulous care in getting ready. He was completely uncertain what to do. His past attempts with Remus had always ended disastrously. He glared at Sybil unconsciously.
"Sit, at a table?" Severus asked uncertainly, trying to keep his visage of smugness.
Remus chuckled and headed over to the nearest empty table.
"For Merlin's sake, Severus, the table won't bite - unless it came from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes!" He said with a teasing smile as he sat down, not taking his eyes off of Severus.
Aware of the eyes upon him, Severus headed to the table dramatically, robes billowing as he made his way to the chair and ensuring they danced around him as he sat down. Albus had been observing and smiled knowingly to himself.
No sooner had Severus sat down, than the door of the Great Hall opened up to reveal what might be called the spectacle of the evening. Every eye in the room was staring at the entrance, and couldn’t take them off of what had walked in.
A vision of silver sparkle had entered the Hall, trailing a brushing of snow behind it. It appeared that fairies were circling this visage as it glided into the room. A silver tiara radiated from her head. A beautiful snow princess had joined the party.
Albus was the first to speak once the princess had ended her promenade.
"Professor Slughorn - so good of you to join us!! And what a beautiful outfit you're wearing. Might I offer you some mead?"
Horace Slughorn, former head of Slytherin house, standing tall, slid toward Albus and gracefully took the cup from the headmaster.
"Ah, Albus. You knew it would take a bit of trickery to get me back to this school after my retirement! I see I am the only one who paid attention to the theme aspect of this party?"
"Horace, my friend, this is simply a Christmas party, like all other Christmas parties we've had at Hogwarts. I dare say you make a most beautiful princess!" Albus bowed deeply as subjects would to their royalty.
"Merlin's ghost, Albus! How much mead have you had?"
Albus rose respectfully and replied with a wink and twinkle in his eye, "Horace, the party started hours ago, how much do you think?"
Severus and Remus had been watching the scene play out from their table. They looked at each other simultaneously. They lifted their glasses, clinked them together and downed the contents in one swallow. As they set the cups down, both exploded into uncontrollable laughter and both cups refilled the moment they touched the table.
****************
December 26, 1995 - early morning
The party was starting to wind down - Albus had to "spell" the way home for both Minerva and Sybil, but not until the more sober of the staff had made sure all the students were safely in their common rooms. Severus and Remus had fallen into a comfortable repartee for the remainder of the evening, alternately talking, laughing and drinking countless cups of the fabulous Christmas mead.
"Remus, you aren't trying to head out of here tonight, are you?" Severus asked with a slight slur to his voice.
Remus chuckled. "No, Albus offered me empty quarters just down the hall. Besides, the chances of my splinching myself right now are pretty good."
Severus smiled. Remus was just looking at him, noticing that it seemed very genuine. He couldn't take his eyes off Severus' face nor could he stop thinking about how attractive this man was.
"Why do you ask, Severus? Need a hand down to the dungeons? We wouldn't want you drinking and trudging down to those quarters of yours."
Severus rolled his eyes. "I can stumble to the dungeons quite well on my own, thank you very much! But since you've offered, I accept."
Oh Merlin, did I really just say that? Severus thought as he rose from the chair. He started to sway before he felt strong hands helping him get straight.
"My pleasure, Severus, my pleasure." The twosome headed toward the door. "Besides, the party's about shut down. No sense in waiting for the 'crowd' to leave."
They took their time getting down to the dungeon, with Severus enjoying every second he felt Remus' hands on him, steadying him down the stairs. By the time they reached the door to Severus' chambers, both were giggling at the sight they must make.
"OK, OK, let me get my password out. Hmmm. Let's see. Merlin, what did I change it to?" His forehead crinkled while attempting to retrieve the information in his impaired state.
"First years drool….No."
"Snakes, snails and puppydog tails…No."
Remus was shaking violently while trying to not roll over and laugh manically out loud.
"Ah yes, I remember now…Wolfsbane."
Remus smiled broadly when he heard this. The door swung open and Remus led Severus through the door. Both, at that moment, experienced a moment of déjà vu. The chambers were decorated exactly as they were on the ill-fated night when Remus was a professor there. Cherry liquer, candles, black satin sheets. Severus walked to the bathroom where the snake design in floating tea-candles had reappeared.
"Remus, please shut the door and ward it. Specifically against Sybil, if you please."
He nodded and did as he was requested.
"Severus, your room is decorated as it was when you invited me down here the last time."
"Uh, yes. This wasn't planned. I have a feeling a particular house elf, at the behest of a certain headmaster, felt we needed some help." Severus drawled.
"May I look around? I never got to see it properly the first time."
Severus waved his hand to indicate "go ahead" and watched the other man roam slowly through his chambers. He observed each decoration. He went to the bathroom and came out impressed by the tea-candle display in there.
He turned to Severus as he walked to the bed chamber. "That tub has Flitwick's signature all over it. The display is brilliant. How did you convince him to do that?"
"Oh, I didn't have to. Our original date was a group Hogwarts production."
Remus smiled at him. He had reached the bed and dragged his hand along the sheets.
"Wow, the famous Snape black satin sheets - only to be used for 'special occassions'."
Severus snorted. "Does EVERYONE know about my sheets, for the love of Merlin?"
Remus slowly walked back to where Severus was standing. Getting very close to the potions master he whispered "Hogwarts has no secrets."
Severus inhaled deeply, taking in the unique scent of the man in front of him and whispered back.
"If there's anything I've learned in all these years, it's this: any man who says he doesn't find your arse gorgeous is a filthy liar. A filthy liar who will find justice only when he passes from this world to the next, and meets his maker. And that, my friend, is when he will learn the true value of honesty."
Remus took half a step back with a look of wonderment. Severus met his eyes, looking for the soul of man in front of him. After a moment he leaned in and kissed Remus gently. He felt arms slide around his waist and pull him close. Severus reached up and cradled the face of the man he had been fantasizing about for years, almost not believing this moment was real.
Severus gently pulled back. "To think that so much time has passed, time that I could've been basking in this."
He took Remus by the hand and led him to the bed.
"I insist, Remus. You should be the one who enjoys these sheets first. I've been saving them for you. You were always the 'special occasion'."
-fin-