Pointless Rant
I've been trying, really, REALLY fucking hard to stay positive, and be happy, and not let petty bullshit get to me, but somehow, i can't seem to let some things go.
I'm tired of being told I'm wrong, or that I fucked up, or that I ruined things. I'm tired of getting walked all over, pushed around, and then when I TRY to fucking stand up for myself, I'm fucking wrong? It's fucking WRONG to have my fucking pride? What the fuck is this?
Over the years, I've taken things to heart, and pushed things aside, but this is just gone on for too long. I put a lot of people before me, trust those I shouldn't, and I'm just in a huge fucking mess now. Fucking told myself "Won't let it happen to me again" I'm a fucking idiot. So fucking desperate for someone to pay attention to me. I just wanted to be fucking cared for. I knew what was going to happen, but I fucking did it anyways. I hate myself sometimes, I really fucking do. And the worst part is, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. And somehow, I'm the one who wrecked things. I get fucking pressured into bullshit, and I'M the one that fucking ruins everything.
I also hate fucking being lied to. You don't fucking feed me these bullshit lines that you didn't want a fucking relationship, then go fucking date someone else. At least fucking be honest with me for fucks sake. If you didn't fucking want me, then FUCKING TELL ME, and STOP FUCKING LEADING ME ON. It's bullshit. It's fucking bullshit. Not only is it fucked up, it's pointless. What the fuck were you getting out of it? Amusement? Well I'm fucking tired of being lead on. I'm fucking tired of being lied to. But mostly, I'm fucking tired of how I KEEP LETTING IT HAPPEN. I don't know who to trust now, and all I really want is just someone who can fucking appreciate me for who I am, because in all honesty, I don't want to fuck anyone, I could care fucking less the next time I get laid, I've been used so god damn much, I'm starting to fucking HATE sex. I'm just fucking tired of it. I just want someone to care for me, to fucking tell me that I'm worth seeing everyday, to tell me that I'm not a fuck up like so many people apparently fucking think. I'm tired of this bullshit, and I just want to be able to stand up, fucking smile, and actually fucking mean it.
I'm tired of being told I'm wrong, or that I fucked up, or that I ruined things. I'm tired of getting walked all over, pushed around, and then when I TRY to fucking stand up for myself, I'm fucking wrong? It's fucking WRONG to have my fucking pride? What the fuck is this?
Over the years, I've taken things to heart, and pushed things aside, but this is just gone on for too long. I put a lot of people before me, trust those I shouldn't, and I'm just in a huge fucking mess now. Fucking told myself "Won't let it happen to me again" I'm a fucking idiot. So fucking desperate for someone to pay attention to me. I just wanted to be fucking cared for. I knew what was going to happen, but I fucking did it anyways. I hate myself sometimes, I really fucking do. And the worst part is, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. And somehow, I'm the one who wrecked things. I get fucking pressured into bullshit, and I'M the one that fucking ruins everything.
I also hate fucking being lied to. You don't fucking feed me these bullshit lines that you didn't want a fucking relationship, then go fucking date someone else. At least fucking be honest with me for fucks sake. If you didn't fucking want me, then FUCKING TELL ME, and STOP FUCKING LEADING ME ON. It's bullshit. It's fucking bullshit. Not only is it fucked up, it's pointless. What the fuck were you getting out of it? Amusement? Well I'm fucking tired of being lead on. I'm fucking tired of being lied to. But mostly, I'm fucking tired of how I KEEP LETTING IT HAPPEN. I don't know who to trust now, and all I really want is just someone who can fucking appreciate me for who I am, because in all honesty, I don't want to fuck anyone, I could care fucking less the next time I get laid, I've been used so god damn much, I'm starting to fucking HATE sex. I'm just fucking tired of it. I just want someone to care for me, to fucking tell me that I'm worth seeing everyday, to tell me that I'm not a fuck up like so many people apparently fucking think. I'm tired of this bullshit, and I just want to be able to stand up, fucking smile, and actually fucking mean it.