Chapter 1, Part 1

[spacematchbook]

Comments

[ghostgecko]

"The thought is not as chilling as it should be." reminds me an L. Sprague DeCamp story where a scientist discovers a very simple way to turn lead back into uranium and blow up the earth's crust, and decides to publish it because he was tormented so much for being a nerd that the race of humans deserves to die.

[spacematchbook]

I know what story you are talking about--can't think of the title, but I remember reading it in "Science Fiction Argosy" and absolutely loving it.

[bestfiend]

The new star is getting larger...

I can identify with this passage. Many a night I have noticed odd phenomena in the sky and wondered about impending doom, taking secret pleasure in the possibility of being the only witness to total annihilation. It's nice not being alone in wanting to be alone.

[lemmealone]

You've introduced the character well, and I like him. Again, I can see shades of George in Douglas, and George writing Douglas with a wry self-consciousness of his own teenage self. Sorry, too meta?

You paint a lovely picture and the language in this chapter is a lot more accessible than in the prologue - it seems crisper, like you're getting more into the swing of writing this thing. Gotta keep reading.

[spacematchbook]

George writing Douglas with a wry self-consciousness of his own teenage self. Sorry, too meta?

Ha, yes, exactly what I was going for! I'm actually putting a lot of my own thoughts as a tormented teen into this--I figure nerd kids are the same, no matter what decade you're in.

And nothing is too meta for this. This is meta incarnate.

[the_quarantine]

I wholly agree. His nerdiness is wonderfully described, and the language is a lot more accessible. More comfortable. It's good, I think, using one voice for the Volkon and another for Douglas, because although it's in third person, you get a really good feel for the different perspectives.