loaded gun complex, cock it and pull it
i'm never on here anymore, and it makes me sad. what i used to be able to do i can no longer do: write my troubles and scream until my fingers hurt from typing, and let the people that don't care read it. now i want to scream about a person and i know they could read about it in here. all i can say is:
WHAT IN THE FUCK IS GOING ON????????????????
other than that, i am always on MySpace now, in the early morning hours i have free to myself. Joes is working me like a dog, a fucking dog--i had the 27th and the 28th off last week, and they were the first days i'd had off in two weeks. two fucking weeks of non-stop, dragging on doubles, working at 4 and not leaving till 11:30. it is fucking killing my social life: i haven't seen Michael since BEFORE his birthday in June, and i miss him. i haven't seen Josh since before that, sometime in early june, and i haven't seen Colleen or April in about a month. i barely see Jenna anymore, because she works when i sleep, and i get out of work when she is going to bed. i wish i could see her more, and Cookie and Bruce and Skeeter, and of course Eric and Chris. i still see David and Carey about three or four times a week, but for two and a half weeks there i didn't even see them! i pretty much saw my fellow coworkers, and the third-shift staff at Red Eye. i re-read almost every book in my collection, again, including White Oleander for about the millionth time. coming up these next few weeks i will be having Tuesdays and Thursdays off again, but that is just because i go back to fucking school in les than a month. urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.
this summer has been of the suck: being in love with David and hating my job, not seeing my friends until the weekend and tension at home, working till i drop and waiting for Daniel to come back to Indy, no parties or wild brainless fun, dating people and not hearing from them for days on end, my dad's surgery and feeling like i might be dying, smoking and not seeing people i really want to see, like Michael, because i am busy and not awake, being torn between websites and meeting new people online that turn into psycho stalkers, being someone's alibi and someone's second choice.........................................................................
i'm just about done with this. everything. schoolfriendsworkloveDavidmycarmyfamilyDanielboysgirlsbreathingsmokinglife.
meg