The douche bag of the night award
I played a men's league hockey game last night, and in honor of the awesome douchebaggery (fuck you Mozilla that is TOO a word!) that transpired, I figured I'd give out some awards.
Second runner up...yours truly! I know, I was surprised, too. First time I haven't won the award since that time in August 2002 when I remembered to tip the hooker.
First runner up...the ass clown who got so upset a little hook when he was trying to score in the waning seconds of a 5 goal victory he grabbed the defenseman's stick and flang it across the ice. Listen fucknuts, if you don't want someone being cheap like that, don't pull a bush league play like hanging with a 5 goal lead. Just be glad you only got hooked, my favorite play in that situation is the two-handed chop at your ankles.
And the grand prize winner...the guy who raced 3/4 the length of the ice to crush one of our players into the boards so hard that the impact drew blood! The apparent reason for this brutal and illegal (even in checking games, which men's league decidedly are NOT) hit? An accidental high stick...from the LAST time we played. We last played this team SEPTEMBER 24TH! Are you fucking kidding me? Christ I think it's embarrassing carrying a grudge from the game beyond the handshake line. This guy carried it for seven weeks! He had it all planned out, too. "I'm not going to do shit if the game is close [which it was for the first two periods] but man if we get a 4 goal lead and that guy carries the puck I'm going to crush him. That'll learn him for some slight that he probably doesn't even remember! And fuck that judge who told me it wasn't OK to punch my wife in the face just because the goalie saved my slap shot. This is his fault too. I'm going to wait until he buys his granddaughter a dog, then run over that little bitch with a lawnmower. The granddaughter, not the dog. That'd just be cruel."
Anyway, Mr. Unbalanced got his rosy ass tossed from the game, which I believe is the second time this year he's been tossed meaning he earned himself a suspension for the remainder of the session without a refund. Congratulations! I hope that little bit of retribution was worth $350. Here's an idea, put on a face mask! It's men's league. Sticks come up. Dick.
Second runner up...yours truly! I know, I was surprised, too. First time I haven't won the award since that time in August 2002 when I remembered to tip the hooker.
First runner up...the ass clown who got so upset a little hook when he was trying to score in the waning seconds of a 5 goal victory he grabbed the defenseman's stick and flang it across the ice. Listen fucknuts, if you don't want someone being cheap like that, don't pull a bush league play like hanging with a 5 goal lead. Just be glad you only got hooked, my favorite play in that situation is the two-handed chop at your ankles.
And the grand prize winner...the guy who raced 3/4 the length of the ice to crush one of our players into the boards so hard that the impact drew blood! The apparent reason for this brutal and illegal (even in checking games, which men's league decidedly are NOT) hit? An accidental high stick...from the LAST time we played. We last played this team SEPTEMBER 24TH! Are you fucking kidding me? Christ I think it's embarrassing carrying a grudge from the game beyond the handshake line. This guy carried it for seven weeks! He had it all planned out, too. "I'm not going to do shit if the game is close [which it was for the first two periods] but man if we get a 4 goal lead and that guy carries the puck I'm going to crush him. That'll learn him for some slight that he probably doesn't even remember! And fuck that judge who told me it wasn't OK to punch my wife in the face just because the goalie saved my slap shot. This is his fault too. I'm going to wait until he buys his granddaughter a dog, then run over that little bitch with a lawnmower. The granddaughter, not the dog. That'd just be cruel."
Anyway, Mr. Unbalanced got his rosy ass tossed from the game, which I believe is the second time this year he's been tossed meaning he earned himself a suspension for the remainder of the session without a refund. Congratulations! I hope that little bit of retribution was worth $350. Here's an idea, put on a face mask! It's men's league. Sticks come up. Dick.