Volume One, Scene Forty-Five
Eliza leaned over the desk as she and Renata went over the proofs for the new science book. She propped her chin in one hand, elbow on the desk, and peered at the pages. "Typo," she said, touching one finger to the word, and Renata circled it in red. "Are we sure that graph is right?"
"Checked it three times," Renata said promptly. "And it conforms to the rubric."
"Ah, yes, good," Eliza said. "As I recall, the first draft had a number of superfluous charts and graphs. Ridiculously complicated, too - he does know that this is a basic text for beginning and intermediate students and not for those seeking to join him in the rarefied atmosphere of his brilliance, yes?"
"Doctor Baltar lets his genius run away with him once in a while," Renata said loyally. "I think his reasoning was that they were more colorful and the students would enjoy them. I mean, they were very informative. Just a little bit advanced. I'm sure some of the students would have been interested."
"Indeed," Eliza said. "Despite that splendid bit of reasoning on the doctor's part, I'm glad we have you around to keep him grounded in reality. Is that this chapter done?"
"Looks like it," Renata said, putting the proofed pages away carefully and opening the next folder.
"Genetics and reproduction," Eliza said dryly. "My favorite." She sighed. "All right. Let's do this."
Renata's mouth crimped in amusement. "So to speak."
"So to speak," Eliza agreed. "I want to focus in particular on the section about hybridization. Have we incorporated the new data from the researchers?"
"Yeah, with a disclaimer about sample size," Renata said, pointing out the place. "I mean, there's Kara Thrace's kid and those couple of babies that the Sixes have had, and that half-Simon child, and the twins from that one woman who married a Two."
"Someone for everyone, I guess," Eliza quipped.
Renata nodded. "Really, we'll need a lot more hybrid children before they have everything worked out in terms of the way that Cylon and human biology fits together."
"And a lot more doctors." Eliza sighed. "Well, at least Lee's procreation campaign is going swimmingly. What have we got from the dig sites? Anything useful?"
"Hardly anything," came Baltar's voice behind them. "I have just returned from discussing this with that thoroughly irritating Doctor Brennan, who, as always, wants to mount an expedition to Kobol to compare the Cylon bones we found here with the presumably human remains from Kobol. Ridiculous. I swear that Zela's the only one who makes sense, and I honestly can't make heads nor tails of her Tauron dialect linguistics project." He looked Eliza up and down with slight distaste. "Ms Cummings, should I presume that no one offered you a chair?"
"Oh, they offered, Doctor," she said airily. "But fortunately, I'm not yet of a size that makes circumnavigating my backside difficult, or so your staff have assured me. I do like your sweater vest."
"Thank you," he said stiffly.
"It's a sign of progress that our factories have mastered the argyle pattern," she went on. "Don't you think?"
"Normally I would engage in pointless banter with you," he said, "but I am very busy at the moment trying to evade my next appointment. Lily, you haven't seen him yet, have you?"
"Not yet," Lily said, scurrying up with a clipboard. "But he's supposed to be here in half an hour, which means in the next ten minutes, because he's always early."
"Thank God," Baltar said, rolling his eyes. "Still a chance to escape. Tell him...y'know, I don't bloody care what you tell him. I'll see you all in the morning."
"Doctor Baltar!" came the cheery call.
"Oh, frak me sideways with a wooden spoon," Baltar said under his breath. Lily winced.
Eliza turned to see a short red-headed man gesturing enthusiastically. "Devin Blazer! I know I'm early, but punctuality is timeless!" Renata and Eliza snickered politely and tried not to wince; Baltar rolled his eyes and composed himself to face the other man.
"I know who you are, Doctor Blazer," Baltar said with more than a hint of impatience in his voice. "We've met several times. In my office, in fact."
"It's funny because punctuality has a great deal to do with time, and the word timeless has very little to do with chronology," Blazer said. "Back on Gemenon, I used to be late fairly frequently because I was consulting with my staff, but I've turned over a new leaf. Not a real one. Just a metaphorical leaf."
"Yes, well, it's easier now that none of us is as...hampered as we used to be," Baltar said. "With staff and such. Shall we? Lily, will you take notes?"
"Wait!" Blazer exclaimed. "I haven't been introduced to these ladies. Extremely pleased to meet you both, I'm Doctor Devin Blazer."
"M.D.?" Eliza deadpanned. Renata stifled a laugh.
"No, no, Ph.D.," Blazer said with an air of self-importance.
"Oh?" Eliza said. "What's your specialty?"
"Oh, a little bit of everything," Blazer said. "Rocks. Space. Computers. I've got my fingers in everything, kind of like Gaius here." Baltar gritted his teeth. "And you are?" Blazer said.
"Eliza Cummings," Eliza said reluctantly. "Secretary of Education."
"Charmed," Blazer said, shaking her hand with the assurance of someone who assumes that his very presence brightens a room. "I've heard of you, of course. I've been meaning to call you up, actually - any chance you could put pressure on the President for me regarding the National Foundation for Science I've been trying to set up? Everything's in place, but that Chief of Staff keeps stonewalling me, won't give me an appointment."
Baltar muttered under his breath and Eliza feigned a sympathetic look. "That's really not my department, I'm sorry. I only handle primary and secondary education, not post-graduate work. Our programs just aren't that advanced yet."
"But for scientists, for researchers whose interests are beyond the scope of existing programs," Blazer began, but Eliza shook her head.
"I'm sorry, I just don't have that kind of pull with the President! I'm sure you know how it is." She shrugged her shoulders and smiled. Baltar glared at her and she winked at him when Blazer slumped in on himself, distracted.
"Ah well, I'm sure you've already given it your best effort," he said. Baltar scowled. Blazer brightened up. "Still, it was great to meet you, Madam Secretary. And your very capable assistant?"
"Renata," said Renata, surpressing a scowl. "And I'm actually the editor-in-chief for the educational texts."
"That must be great and I'm sure Ms Cummings is so grateful for your help," Blazer gushed. "Here, let me give you my card. If you ever need material for a book on geology or physics or computer science or astronomy or hell, pretty much anything, I'm your man." He smirked in a self-congratulatory way. "Might as well share the wealth of my knowledge, right? Got the motherlode." He tapped his head. Everyone laughed polite and somewhat hollow laughs. Blazer went on, "It's funny, because usually, idiomatically a head full of rocks would be a bad thing, but I've turned it into a positive metaphor, which is probably more apt given the value of many minerals, especially to our developing manufacturing."
"Yes, we're all dazzled by your scintillating wit," Baltar said. "My office, if you please? Madam Secretary, Renata, we'll leave you to it."
"Thank the non-existent gods," Renata breathed when Blazer had been escorted into the office and the door safely shut. "He's like a dweeb crossed with a frat boy - the worst combination of terrible patronizing jokes, schmoozing, and no self-awareness. I thought I left that behind when I graduated from college."
"He's an argument against reproduction if I ever met one," Eliza agreed. "Come on, let's finish this at Jaffee's. My treat."
"That sounds amazing," Renata said, and they gathered up the papers and slipped out.
"Checked it three times," Renata said promptly. "And it conforms to the rubric."
"Ah, yes, good," Eliza said. "As I recall, the first draft had a number of superfluous charts and graphs. Ridiculously complicated, too - he does know that this is a basic text for beginning and intermediate students and not for those seeking to join him in the rarefied atmosphere of his brilliance, yes?"
"Doctor Baltar lets his genius run away with him once in a while," Renata said loyally. "I think his reasoning was that they were more colorful and the students would enjoy them. I mean, they were very informative. Just a little bit advanced. I'm sure some of the students would have been interested."
"Indeed," Eliza said. "Despite that splendid bit of reasoning on the doctor's part, I'm glad we have you around to keep him grounded in reality. Is that this chapter done?"
"Looks like it," Renata said, putting the proofed pages away carefully and opening the next folder.
"Genetics and reproduction," Eliza said dryly. "My favorite." She sighed. "All right. Let's do this."
Renata's mouth crimped in amusement. "So to speak."
"So to speak," Eliza agreed. "I want to focus in particular on the section about hybridization. Have we incorporated the new data from the researchers?"
"Yeah, with a disclaimer about sample size," Renata said, pointing out the place. "I mean, there's Kara Thrace's kid and those couple of babies that the Sixes have had, and that half-Simon child, and the twins from that one woman who married a Two."
"Someone for everyone, I guess," Eliza quipped.
Renata nodded. "Really, we'll need a lot more hybrid children before they have everything worked out in terms of the way that Cylon and human biology fits together."
"And a lot more doctors." Eliza sighed. "Well, at least Lee's procreation campaign is going swimmingly. What have we got from the dig sites? Anything useful?"
"Hardly anything," came Baltar's voice behind them. "I have just returned from discussing this with that thoroughly irritating Doctor Brennan, who, as always, wants to mount an expedition to Kobol to compare the Cylon bones we found here with the presumably human remains from Kobol. Ridiculous. I swear that Zela's the only one who makes sense, and I honestly can't make heads nor tails of her Tauron dialect linguistics project." He looked Eliza up and down with slight distaste. "Ms Cummings, should I presume that no one offered you a chair?"
"Oh, they offered, Doctor," she said airily. "But fortunately, I'm not yet of a size that makes circumnavigating my backside difficult, or so your staff have assured me. I do like your sweater vest."
"Thank you," he said stiffly.
"It's a sign of progress that our factories have mastered the argyle pattern," she went on. "Don't you think?"
"Normally I would engage in pointless banter with you," he said, "but I am very busy at the moment trying to evade my next appointment. Lily, you haven't seen him yet, have you?"
"Not yet," Lily said, scurrying up with a clipboard. "But he's supposed to be here in half an hour, which means in the next ten minutes, because he's always early."
"Thank God," Baltar said, rolling his eyes. "Still a chance to escape. Tell him...y'know, I don't bloody care what you tell him. I'll see you all in the morning."
"Doctor Baltar!" came the cheery call.
"Oh, frak me sideways with a wooden spoon," Baltar said under his breath. Lily winced.
Eliza turned to see a short red-headed man gesturing enthusiastically. "Devin Blazer! I know I'm early, but punctuality is timeless!" Renata and Eliza snickered politely and tried not to wince; Baltar rolled his eyes and composed himself to face the other man.
"I know who you are, Doctor Blazer," Baltar said with more than a hint of impatience in his voice. "We've met several times. In my office, in fact."
"It's funny because punctuality has a great deal to do with time, and the word timeless has very little to do with chronology," Blazer said. "Back on Gemenon, I used to be late fairly frequently because I was consulting with my staff, but I've turned over a new leaf. Not a real one. Just a metaphorical leaf."
"Yes, well, it's easier now that none of us is as...hampered as we used to be," Baltar said. "With staff and such. Shall we? Lily, will you take notes?"
"Wait!" Blazer exclaimed. "I haven't been introduced to these ladies. Extremely pleased to meet you both, I'm Doctor Devin Blazer."
"M.D.?" Eliza deadpanned. Renata stifled a laugh.
"No, no, Ph.D.," Blazer said with an air of self-importance.
"Oh?" Eliza said. "What's your specialty?"
"Oh, a little bit of everything," Blazer said. "Rocks. Space. Computers. I've got my fingers in everything, kind of like Gaius here." Baltar gritted his teeth. "And you are?" Blazer said.
"Eliza Cummings," Eliza said reluctantly. "Secretary of Education."
"Charmed," Blazer said, shaking her hand with the assurance of someone who assumes that his very presence brightens a room. "I've heard of you, of course. I've been meaning to call you up, actually - any chance you could put pressure on the President for me regarding the National Foundation for Science I've been trying to set up? Everything's in place, but that Chief of Staff keeps stonewalling me, won't give me an appointment."
Baltar muttered under his breath and Eliza feigned a sympathetic look. "That's really not my department, I'm sorry. I only handle primary and secondary education, not post-graduate work. Our programs just aren't that advanced yet."
"But for scientists, for researchers whose interests are beyond the scope of existing programs," Blazer began, but Eliza shook her head.
"I'm sorry, I just don't have that kind of pull with the President! I'm sure you know how it is." She shrugged her shoulders and smiled. Baltar glared at her and she winked at him when Blazer slumped in on himself, distracted.
"Ah well, I'm sure you've already given it your best effort," he said. Baltar scowled. Blazer brightened up. "Still, it was great to meet you, Madam Secretary. And your very capable assistant?"
"Renata," said Renata, surpressing a scowl. "And I'm actually the editor-in-chief for the educational texts."
"That must be great and I'm sure Ms Cummings is so grateful for your help," Blazer gushed. "Here, let me give you my card. If you ever need material for a book on geology or physics or computer science or astronomy or hell, pretty much anything, I'm your man." He smirked in a self-congratulatory way. "Might as well share the wealth of my knowledge, right? Got the motherlode." He tapped his head. Everyone laughed polite and somewhat hollow laughs. Blazer went on, "It's funny, because usually, idiomatically a head full of rocks would be a bad thing, but I've turned it into a positive metaphor, which is probably more apt given the value of many minerals, especially to our developing manufacturing."
"Yes, we're all dazzled by your scintillating wit," Baltar said. "My office, if you please? Madam Secretary, Renata, we'll leave you to it."
"Thank the non-existent gods," Renata breathed when Blazer had been escorted into the office and the door safely shut. "He's like a dweeb crossed with a frat boy - the worst combination of terrible patronizing jokes, schmoozing, and no self-awareness. I thought I left that behind when I graduated from college."
"He's an argument against reproduction if I ever met one," Eliza agreed. "Come on, let's finish this at Jaffee's. My treat."
"That sounds amazing," Renata said, and they gathered up the papers and slipped out.