Lorne Fest!!!!
Title: Love Lost
Author: spacedogfl
Fandom: SGA
Pairing: Evan/Rodney
Rating: PG (language)
Warnings: depressing fic lies ahead
Word Count: 1155
Summary: Lorne Fest prompt: Lorne/McKay - first date
Notes: Takes place during Season 5 episode The Shrine
“John! John!”
“Ok. It’s ok. Calm down.”
“You’re not John! Where is he? Where’s John?”
“He’s getting some rest, Rodney. He asked me to stay with you.”
“But I don’t know you.”
“I’m Evan. I’m your…friend,” he hesitates on the verge of tears again.
“Evan.” Rodney makes a face, thinking about the name. “Feels like I should know that. There’s lot’s I should know, though.”
“Yeah.” He gives Rodney a forced smile.
“You have a nice smile. And nice eyes. Kind eyes. Like John. John has kind eyes.”
“Yes, he does. How do you feel?”
“I’m ok. Tired, though. I should go back to sleep. I need to go back to sleep.”
“Want me to tell you a story?”
“A good story.”
“Ok. Here’s one about the pilot and the scientist.”
“Sounds good. They say I was a scientist.”
“Yes, you were,” Evan responds. “See, there was a pilot who harbored a crush on a scientist. He watched the scientist from afar, never having the courage to tell the scientist how he really felt. It was because the scientist was often not nice or considerate of other’s feelings. The pilot could handle rejection, but not the public humiliation that would surely follow from revealing his feelings to the scientist. They were civil to each other, but in no way could they be considered friends of any sort.
“Over time, they were forced to work together more closely and eventually found they had many similar interests. The scientist learned to trust and respect the pilot’s opinions on a number of subjects and they began hanging out as friends. In time, the pilot got up the nerve to ask the scientist out and was surprised when the scientist agreed to the date.
“They met one evening in the pilot’s quarters. Since they had become friends, the pilot had been watching the scientist’s eating habits to learn what he liked. For that evening, he took the time to gather the items for a meal he knew the scientist would love, even trading his own possessions to get some of the food.
“Because he had never had someone be that into him, the scientist was speechless. Throughout the meal, in his self-conscious way, he kept asking why the pilot went through the trouble for him.
“Ultimately, the pilot found the courage to tell the scientist how he felt. He told the scientist about the crush, the pseudo-stalking…even the daydreams he had about the two of them going to the symphony together someday.
“The scientist was surprised by the pilot’s admission. The openness and the obvious honesty behind it caused the scientist to really understand that the pilot was nothing less than serious about his feelings. He later told the pilot that was the first time he felt unconditional love from someone else.”
Evan pauses as Rodney mumbles in his sleep. Tears begin streaming down his face at the words.
“After dinner,” he continues, reminiscing to himself, “they sat on the balcony talking for hours. Comfortable and easy, they looked out over the ocean letting the conversation flow like the water’s current.
“Only when the sun began rising behind them, did they realize the time. However, neither wanted to leave the other just yet. With a chaste kiss, they lay on the pilot’s bed; the scientist spooned behind the pilot’s body holding him close, and they slept for a few hours. For the pilot, it was the best date he’d ever had.
“After that date, they began spending a lot of time together. The scientist even stopped spending all night in the labs and would visit the pilot in his quarters. They’d talk and listen to music, just generally enjoying each other’s company.
“There was nothing the pilot wouldn’t do for the scientist. The scientist became his world. For the first time in years, the pilot was in love. And he thought the scientist felt the same.”
Rodney again mumbles, causing Evan to release a heart wrenching sob.
“But one day, the scientist got sick,” Evan stutters as he tries to catch his breath. “He began forgetting things.
“At first it was small things, little things. Then the things he began forgetting became more important: formulae and equations he had used every day for decades; what his position was; where he was; and soon, he began forgetting people.
“The scientist forgot about his friends, his coworkers. But he never forgot about the person he loved the most: his best friend. The pilot saw this, and though it caused him great sadness to see that the scientist had even forgotten him, his love for the scientist was so great that he would sit with him and comfort him when his best friend was not available.”
“And the best friend is very sorry to see the pilot go through that,” John says softly behind Evan, not wanting to wake Rodney.
“John…sir,” Evan begins to stand, wiping tears from his face, but sits back down at John’s insistence.
“Evan…I’m sorry for eavesdropping. I came back a while ago and didn’t want to interrupt. I didn’t know you and Rodney…,” he waves a hand to finish the sentence.
“It’s been about a year. I always wondered why he was able to keep it so quiet, but now I know. He never wanted you to know because he was in love with you…is in love with you.”
“Jeez. I had no idea. I’m flattered, but I don’t…he’s not…I’m not gay. Rodney knows this.”
“Doesn’t matter. You can’t help who you love,” Evan sighs, looking at Rodney.
“Love…love…John…,” Rodney murmurs in his sleep.
“He’s been doing that since he fell back asleep.”
“Shit! And you sat here listening to it? That’s gotta be rough.”
“More than you know. But, it’s Rodney, and I’ll still do anything for him.”
“Evan, I’m so sorry. You should have told -”
“John! You’re here!” Rodney wakes. His head turns, eyes focusing on his friend. Noticing Evan sitting at his bedside, he frowns. “This man was here when I woke up before. He said you asked him to stay. He has kind eyes, but not like you. He said he’s my friend,” he adds in a loud stage whisper, “but I don’t remember him.”
“Rodney, Evan is -” John begins but is stopped by Evan.
“It’s ok, John. Really. I need to get some sleep. Just,” he sighs, “call me if you need anything. Good night, Rodney.”
“Good night.”
Evan gives them both sad smiles as he leaves the room.
“He told me a story. I think it was about you and me,” Evan hears Rodney say before the door closes.
Evan slowly makes his way to his quarters. With a heavy heart, he methodically goes through his room packing the random items Rodney has left behind over the last few months. Even if Rodney recovers from his illness, Evan knows he’s lost the scientist forever - if ever he had him.