Stupid is as stupid does, so stop doing stupid things
A selection of my most foolish moments, just for your entertainment.
I used to work at this agricultural research place. I must have been all dozy from working in the warm polytunnel (think plastic greenhouse) when I came in for morning break. I went in the bathroom and was about to use the urinal when for some forgotten reason I stopped and washed my hands instead, then dried them. So that done I found myself standing in front of a bin with the thought in my head ‘I need to pee’. And suddenly I’m undoing my trousers to use the bin as a urinal. Just in time one of the other guys at work walks in and just says matter of factly ‘that’s the bin’ and I say ‘Oh, thanks for that, hot day out, making me kind of dozy’.
He was nice enough not to mention it to all the people at the lunch table.
I was once driving back to Leicester from Coventry at about half one in the morning, the roads were pretty much deserted and I was approaching this roundabout (Btw to the lj friends in countries other than the UK, do you have roundabouts over were you are?) were I had to turn right. So I thought I’d save a few seconds and GO ROUND IT THE WRONG WAY. And there was someone coming the other way, I missed him but had he been two seconds earlier I would have hit him head on. I wonder who’d have been held accountable there?!?
During my final uni year me and my mate Jon wanted to get some books out for copying graphs from, but they were reference only. So we decided to smuggle them out anyway (his idea, my bag) and the alarm went off and the turn stile jammed and there I was standing like a muppet, caught red handed. Embarassing or what! I was banned from getting books out for a month, which I consider was getting off pretty lightly.
And here’s a story from when I was working as a space auditor at my old uni. It was my last audit of the day and as I approached the Squash room I saw a group of people mingling just outside.
"Don't go in" a girl warned me as I walked towards the door.
"What?"
"Just don't go in"
I thought they were just messing about, why shouldn't I go in? "Why not?"
"Not unless you want to see American footballers..." the last few words she said somehow didn't register. I just knocked on the door and a guy opened it and I figured the last word must have been "naked". Some sort of photo shoot was going on. Behind the guy who opened the door was standing a completely naked dude covering his bits with a helmet. "Well, you tried to warn me" I said as I walked away from the room.
"Yes" the girl said, "several times".
I'm not too bothered that I walked in on the photo shoot, what really embarasses me is how dumb I must have looked to those people who had quite clearly warned me not to go in.
I used to work at this agricultural research place. I must have been all dozy from working in the warm polytunnel (think plastic greenhouse) when I came in for morning break. I went in the bathroom and was about to use the urinal when for some forgotten reason I stopped and washed my hands instead, then dried them. So that done I found myself standing in front of a bin with the thought in my head ‘I need to pee’. And suddenly I’m undoing my trousers to use the bin as a urinal. Just in time one of the other guys at work walks in and just says matter of factly ‘that’s the bin’ and I say ‘Oh, thanks for that, hot day out, making me kind of dozy’.
He was nice enough not to mention it to all the people at the lunch table.
I was once driving back to Leicester from Coventry at about half one in the morning, the roads were pretty much deserted and I was approaching this roundabout (Btw to the lj friends in countries other than the UK, do you have roundabouts over were you are?) were I had to turn right. So I thought I’d save a few seconds and GO ROUND IT THE WRONG WAY. And there was someone coming the other way, I missed him but had he been two seconds earlier I would have hit him head on. I wonder who’d have been held accountable there?!?
During my final uni year me and my mate Jon wanted to get some books out for copying graphs from, but they were reference only. So we decided to smuggle them out anyway (his idea, my bag) and the alarm went off and the turn stile jammed and there I was standing like a muppet, caught red handed. Embarassing or what! I was banned from getting books out for a month, which I consider was getting off pretty lightly.
And here’s a story from when I was working as a space auditor at my old uni. It was my last audit of the day and as I approached the Squash room I saw a group of people mingling just outside.
"Don't go in" a girl warned me as I walked towards the door.
"What?"
"Just don't go in"
I thought they were just messing about, why shouldn't I go in? "Why not?"
"Not unless you want to see American footballers..." the last few words she said somehow didn't register. I just knocked on the door and a guy opened it and I figured the last word must have been "naked". Some sort of photo shoot was going on. Behind the guy who opened the door was standing a completely naked dude covering his bits with a helmet. "Well, you tried to warn me" I said as I walked away from the room.
"Yes" the girl said, "several times".
I'm not too bothered that I walked in on the photo shoot, what really embarasses me is how dumb I must have looked to those people who had quite clearly warned me not to go in.