(no subject)
coming here because this seems like the last place of refuge on the internet, where i can write something and not worry about who will really see it.
loving someone can really hurt. just now, i had to tell someone that i didn't think things were going to work out between us. i couldn't help but bawl my eyes out afterwards. i'm sure i'm a disappointment to her and i'm sure she wasn't expect that to happen. i hate to think that i made her feel sad. i really can't stand the guilt that comes when one of my actions hurts someone else. i am very bad at breaking up with people. although i don't know if you can really call it "breaking up" since we weren't really together. but i didn't want what she wanted. i didn't want to do long distance again. i want to have a life in one place. i don't want to have to travel all the time. i just can't put in that kind of effort right now. not being as fragile as i already was after Rose. my brain thinks this is all very justifiable, but my heart still can't help but break.
loving someone can really hurt. just now, i had to tell someone that i didn't think things were going to work out between us. i couldn't help but bawl my eyes out afterwards. i'm sure i'm a disappointment to her and i'm sure she wasn't expect that to happen. i hate to think that i made her feel sad. i really can't stand the guilt that comes when one of my actions hurts someone else. i am very bad at breaking up with people. although i don't know if you can really call it "breaking up" since we weren't really together. but i didn't want what she wanted. i didn't want to do long distance again. i want to have a life in one place. i don't want to have to travel all the time. i just can't put in that kind of effort right now. not being as fragile as i already was after Rose. my brain thinks this is all very justifiable, but my heart still can't help but break.