People who won't talk to each other
I'm tired. I guess I understand why Joey would simply say those words to me instead of telling me what's wrong. I feel the same way. It's just easier to sum up all the problems as weariness instead of trying to explain them to another person. Plus the act of explaining makes them real. Makes them definite. And worst of all, makes them hurt.
I want to know what's wrong with my roommate even if he won't tell me. I want to know why he drinks heavily almost every night, and I'm beginning to suspect it ain't just boredom. I wish he would talk to me instead of making sound effects or pretending to shoot me with his index finger. I wish we could have a conversation about something real, instead of summing up life in humorous cliches. I wish we could watch tv together like we used to, instead of him playing on facebook for hours while I watch something by myself in the living room. And I wish he would pick up on the fact that I'm not exactly ok and then listen to me explain why and then respond with something genuine and meaningful.
I have always tried to put up a tough front. It's hard to admit to someone that something's wrong. I don't want to burden other people with my problems and I don't expect them to fix them for me or even make them any better. I never let on that my breakup with Krystyn hurt me in very serious ways. And as friends of Krystyn, I don't trust Joey or Jake to ever take my side. I don't want there to be sides anyway. There wouldn't be if Krystyn hadn't treated me like I was nothing. Like I wasn't important. It makes me really sad that I will probably never be friends with her. I hate losing important people in my life. And it has happened far too often for me to handle.
And now my sister is mad at me, and I'm not really sure why. It's only getting worse. She had no reason to be mad at me in the first place, but then she decided I was such an asshole, which only turned out to be self-fulfilling. How am I supposed to be nice to someone who yells at me and calls me names? I know I probably won't be mad at her for much longer. Probably will just ignore her for a while. Maybe she'll get over it. And stop acting like she's the queen of the universe. Or maybe she finally call me and tell me what's wrong instead of saying "I don't want to talk about it."
I want to know what's wrong with my roommate even if he won't tell me. I want to know why he drinks heavily almost every night, and I'm beginning to suspect it ain't just boredom. I wish he would talk to me instead of making sound effects or pretending to shoot me with his index finger. I wish we could have a conversation about something real, instead of summing up life in humorous cliches. I wish we could watch tv together like we used to, instead of him playing on facebook for hours while I watch something by myself in the living room. And I wish he would pick up on the fact that I'm not exactly ok and then listen to me explain why and then respond with something genuine and meaningful.
I have always tried to put up a tough front. It's hard to admit to someone that something's wrong. I don't want to burden other people with my problems and I don't expect them to fix them for me or even make them any better. I never let on that my breakup with Krystyn hurt me in very serious ways. And as friends of Krystyn, I don't trust Joey or Jake to ever take my side. I don't want there to be sides anyway. There wouldn't be if Krystyn hadn't treated me like I was nothing. Like I wasn't important. It makes me really sad that I will probably never be friends with her. I hate losing important people in my life. And it has happened far too often for me to handle.
And now my sister is mad at me, and I'm not really sure why. It's only getting worse. She had no reason to be mad at me in the first place, but then she decided I was such an asshole, which only turned out to be self-fulfilling. How am I supposed to be nice to someone who yells at me and calls me names? I know I probably won't be mad at her for much longer. Probably will just ignore her for a while. Maybe she'll get over it. And stop acting like she's the queen of the universe. Or maybe she finally call me and tell me what's wrong instead of saying "I don't want to talk about it."