It's not a bird and I dont think it's a plane...
So this evening at band practice I got a few glimpses of the night sky between the death clouds of toxic dust that were sprawled over us all as we marched, dragging our feet as if nothing in the world mattered (and when you are in such a prediciment where you have to choose between your wellbeing or how much dedication you have towards the band, not much does matter). Anyways, my point is that in the night sky I couldnt help but observe an unusually bright object. It was not a star or plane. And if it was a bird then it must be some kind of mutan toxic freak bird that spawned out of the nuclear waste dumps next to area 51 where they tested nuclear detonations in the early 1940's. Yes, it was an extrodinary sight that left me dumbfounded and in wonder. I concluded that it was either, a comet coming to destroy us all, a renegade soviet nuclear weapon sent to destroy the capital, or more likely a nearby planet that can only be viewed in the fall. Yes it must be none other than mars or venus. But im no astronomer so I cant give you a verified account of what the object in the sky is. If you are reading this than ods are that whatever it is has not fallen from the sky smashing us to bits, causing widespread destruction and canceling school for a few days. Like it matters we would just have to make them up at the end of the year. Last year we only got like 1 day off becuase of snow. I was dissapointed. Nothing is better than a classic break-out-the-sled snow day. If there are none this year I will have to whip out my snow machine and make a few. Were just gonna play it by ear and hope it snows, cuz that machine takes a lot of power to operate, and unleashes enough sulfer into the air to turn the falling snow brown. I dont want to end on a bad or upsetting note, so smile and think of all the victims of hurricane Rita. Oh Rita you thoughtless whore.
