"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
The English language is under assault by stupid people who use words they don't understand, and is defended by pompous asses who like to correct those people. We're not sure who to side with.
So, here are some words that you'll see used incorrectly on a daily basis, and a helpful guide as to just how big of a dick you'd have to be to correct people on it. We have also included many pictures of these words being read by women with large boobs.
Ironic
People think it means:
Any kind of amusing coincidence.
Actually means:
An outcome that is the opposite of what you'd expect.
So, if a porn star moved to Virgin, Utah, that would be ironic. If the same porn star bought a house in Boner Knob, Montana that would not be ironic.
Should you care?
We realize this is a technical point. But, it's almost worth taking a stand because the word has been abused to the point that it can mean anything.
"She always said she wanted to marry a dentist! And then she married Bob, who is a dentist! Isn't that ironic?"
"I went on my cigarette break, but there was a No Smoking sign! Isn't that ironic?"
"I just pooped in your aquarium! Isn't that ironic?"
We have to draw the line somewhere, don't we?
Pristine
People think it means:
"Spotless" or "as good as new."
Actually means:
"Ancient, primeval; in a state virtually unchanged from the original."
It's therefore perfectly possible to have a pristine mountain of fossilized brontosaurus shit, but if you were to buff that mountain to a lustrous shine, it would no longer be pristine.
Should you care?
The meanings are close enough that correcting somebody sounds like grammar Nazi hair-splitting. That's a shame, because there were lots of words that mean "clean" but none that have the exact same meaning as "pristine."
If you use pristine correctly yourself, you probably won't land yourself in too much trouble, unless someone buys your "pristine" house on eBay without realizing that it's an authentic 14th century dung hovel complete with never-been-used plague rats.
Bemused
People think it means:
Mildly amused.
Actually means:
Bewildered or confused.
If you were to say "I was bemused by your dead baby joke," you wouldn't be saying the joke was funny. You'd be saying that you completely failed to understand it. You were following the story up to and including the bit about the trowel, but you'd lost the thread way before the Ku Klux masturbation climax.
Should you care?
It's hard to blame people for getting this one wrong, the word just sounds like it means, "sort of amused." We blame the people who originally invented the word. You should probably let the new meaning take over unless, you know, you're a dick.
The rest of the words, helpful dick guide and boobies at the source.
Source: Cracked
So, here are some words that you'll see used incorrectly on a daily basis, and a helpful guide as to just how big of a dick you'd have to be to correct people on it. We have also included many pictures of these words being read by women with large boobs.
Ironic
People think it means:
Any kind of amusing coincidence.
Actually means:
An outcome that is the opposite of what you'd expect.
So, if a porn star moved to Virgin, Utah, that would be ironic. If the same porn star bought a house in Boner Knob, Montana that would not be ironic.
Should you care?
We realize this is a technical point. But, it's almost worth taking a stand because the word has been abused to the point that it can mean anything.
"She always said she wanted to marry a dentist! And then she married Bob, who is a dentist! Isn't that ironic?"
"I went on my cigarette break, but there was a No Smoking sign! Isn't that ironic?"
"I just pooped in your aquarium! Isn't that ironic?"
We have to draw the line somewhere, don't we?
Pristine
People think it means:
"Spotless" or "as good as new."
Actually means:
"Ancient, primeval; in a state virtually unchanged from the original."
It's therefore perfectly possible to have a pristine mountain of fossilized brontosaurus shit, but if you were to buff that mountain to a lustrous shine, it would no longer be pristine.
Should you care?
The meanings are close enough that correcting somebody sounds like grammar Nazi hair-splitting. That's a shame, because there were lots of words that mean "clean" but none that have the exact same meaning as "pristine."
If you use pristine correctly yourself, you probably won't land yourself in too much trouble, unless someone buys your "pristine" house on eBay without realizing that it's an authentic 14th century dung hovel complete with never-been-used plague rats.
Bemused
People think it means:
Mildly amused.
Actually means:
Bewildered or confused.
If you were to say "I was bemused by your dead baby joke," you wouldn't be saying the joke was funny. You'd be saying that you completely failed to understand it. You were following the story up to and including the bit about the trowel, but you'd lost the thread way before the Ku Klux masturbation climax.
Should you care?
It's hard to blame people for getting this one wrong, the word just sounds like it means, "sort of amused." We blame the people who originally invented the word. You should probably let the new meaning take over unless, you know, you're a dick.
The rest of the words, helpful dick guide and boobies at the source.
Source: Cracked