happiness is a warm gun
i keep waking up next to men i don't love.
men who say that they want to buy me all the hats in the world, even after i tell them that i don't have enough heads for all that.
i keep drinking whiskey with strangers, and convincing both of us that drunkeness is real connection
and i really am excited
about them.
how unfair am i.
i keep playing piano for anybody who will listen, after half a bottle of port,
but after half a bottle of port
i just sound like a drunk.
i am still afraid to hurt his feelings, before i fall for him.
how sick.
i only lie to people i love
(or myself)
but i am most dishonest with strangers.
what a catch.
and i wonder how i get to the places i end up.
one day
i will wake up next to a man
who is still sleeping breathing too loud
and stare at the back of his head
and not feel trapped.
i will know
in my head and my chest
that it is right.
and then everything will be okay.
men who say that they want to buy me all the hats in the world, even after i tell them that i don't have enough heads for all that.
i keep drinking whiskey with strangers, and convincing both of us that drunkeness is real connection
and i really am excited
about them.
how unfair am i.
i keep playing piano for anybody who will listen, after half a bottle of port,
but after half a bottle of port
i just sound like a drunk.
i am still afraid to hurt his feelings, before i fall for him.
how sick.
i only lie to people i love
(or myself)
but i am most dishonest with strangers.
what a catch.
and i wonder how i get to the places i end up.
one day
i will wake up next to a man
who is still sleeping breathing too loud
and stare at the back of his head
and not feel trapped.
i will know
in my head and my chest
that it is right.
and then everything will be okay.