growing up SUCKS
lately, things have changed. like drastically.
one girl i always looked up to because she had such high morals and standards is now unmarried and pregnant. she is engaged, but this girl was die-hard about not sleeping with anyone before marriage. i know a lot of people get pregnant before getting married, and some never marry at all. but this girl refused to be one of those and now she's knocked up. she once told me the first guy she would kiss would be the guy she marries. and she wasn't 5 when she said it, more like 17. and dead sincere about it. another friend tried to justify this all by saying people make mistakes, which is beyond true. i constantly fail. but this girl was strong in her beliefs and actually encouraged me to change my life around and get it right, and now she's thrown her standards out the window. sold out for fifteen minutes of pleasure. im not trying to be a b***h, because many a friend of mine has found herself in this spot, but i have no respect for this girl anymore. she basically sold out.
my best friend since i was 13 is engaged. and we never talk. and i miss her so freaking much.
my best friend this past year is not the same person i got to know a year ago. he's a complete butthead. and i cant figure out how to talk to him.
my closest former roommate has been distant and grumpy. and her boyfriend slowly pulls her down a depressive tunnel i've watched her go before with a different boyfriend.
and me. what the heck is different with me?
i dont smile as much.
i dont laugh as much.
i feel like crying at least once a day
the thought of spending time with people emotionally drains me
i dont go out
i drink too much coffee
but i am still the fat ugly dork i was in high school, only fatter and probably even uglier. and i miss my friends. i miss having someone to talk to other than my roommate who is stuck with me without a choice. i bug her, and i feel bad. but she's the only who talks back anymore.
one girl i always looked up to because she had such high morals and standards is now unmarried and pregnant. she is engaged, but this girl was die-hard about not sleeping with anyone before marriage. i know a lot of people get pregnant before getting married, and some never marry at all. but this girl refused to be one of those and now she's knocked up. she once told me the first guy she would kiss would be the guy she marries. and she wasn't 5 when she said it, more like 17. and dead sincere about it. another friend tried to justify this all by saying people make mistakes, which is beyond true. i constantly fail. but this girl was strong in her beliefs and actually encouraged me to change my life around and get it right, and now she's thrown her standards out the window. sold out for fifteen minutes of pleasure. im not trying to be a b***h, because many a friend of mine has found herself in this spot, but i have no respect for this girl anymore. she basically sold out.
my best friend since i was 13 is engaged. and we never talk. and i miss her so freaking much.
my best friend this past year is not the same person i got to know a year ago. he's a complete butthead. and i cant figure out how to talk to him.
my closest former roommate has been distant and grumpy. and her boyfriend slowly pulls her down a depressive tunnel i've watched her go before with a different boyfriend.
and me. what the heck is different with me?
i dont smile as much.
i dont laugh as much.
i feel like crying at least once a day
the thought of spending time with people emotionally drains me
i dont go out
i drink too much coffee
but i am still the fat ugly dork i was in high school, only fatter and probably even uglier. and i miss my friends. i miss having someone to talk to other than my roommate who is stuck with me without a choice. i bug her, and i feel bad. but she's the only who talks back anymore.