Phooey
Sabrinia is dating someone now. Hearing the news felt like a knife twisting in my kidney. Not that I have any claim on her affections and intellectually I've mostly accepted that she's not the girl I should be with. But she's at least 'my type' and I don't know anyone else that is. So when I feel lonely, she's the person I think about holding.
I feel lonely a lot.
And to know someone else is holding her makes me feel... tired of life. So fucking tired. Frustrated. Ashamed of who I am. Self-destructive.
And I never even kissed Sabrinia. One drunk hug. And I feel this awful. How the fuck am I ever going to survive the ups and downs of a real relationship? If I could ever muster the balls to try.
I told Sabrinia this today. I'd spent some time thinking about what to say and made myself a 7 to 3 favorite to cry. Good line, I got a little misty, one or two trickles. She didn't quite know what to say but respected my decision although she didn't want to lose me as a friend. Told me to give myself some credit for being a good guy and not be so hard on myself.
I feel lonely a lot.
And to know someone else is holding her makes me feel... tired of life. So fucking tired. Frustrated. Ashamed of who I am. Self-destructive.
And I never even kissed Sabrinia. One drunk hug. And I feel this awful. How the fuck am I ever going to survive the ups and downs of a real relationship? If I could ever muster the balls to try.
I told Sabrinia this today. I'd spent some time thinking about what to say and made myself a 7 to 3 favorite to cry. Good line, I got a little misty, one or two trickles. She didn't quite know what to say but respected my decision although she didn't want to lose me as a friend. Told me to give myself some credit for being a good guy and not be so hard on myself.