nothing wrong with being wrong
I've spent the last decade in fear. Afraid that if I ever found a girl I liked and was interested in that she wouldn't feel the same for me because, y'know I'm a big fucking loser. So I hid myself away and never tried to meet anyone and definitely never let myself fall for anyone. Then I finally got out and took a shot and uh, found that my fear was not unjustified.
Whew! I'd hate to think all those years of crippling depression, lonely nights and masturbation were for no reason whatsoever. Imagine how stupid I'd feel then.
And yet, relief is not quite the emotion I feel the most.
I've been meaning to re-open this journal to the public for a while. I'd been hoping to be able to have some happy posts up at the top when that happened. Well, maybe not happy, that's not what I do but more lighthearted anyway. A touch of absurdity to make it go down easier.
I guess the above segment is as close as it gets these days. But we've passed the winter solstice so things should brighten up soon enough. And I'd like to be more open, not ashamed of who I am. I don't feel like I can say these things to anyone in person. I want to, kind of, I just can't get it out. Except through this keyboard.
I've also gone through and coded all references to my place of employment. Henceforth, I work at the IT Poker Room. If you can't figure out what that means, you're too stupid to read this blog.
Oh, this is lighthearted. The Redskins don't suck right now. Yay! But I've learned from the past to expect the worst. The first year I got into the Redskins was my Freshman year in High School. They started the year 7-1 and then turned to crap missing they playoffs at 9-7. Shit happens, to the Redskins that just don't happen to anyone else. Your starting Quarterback knocking himself out of the game by celebrating a touchdown, by head-butting the stadium. Calling back-to-back timeouts and giving the other team 15 free yards for a game-winning field goal. Steve Spurrier.
But hey, maybe this time they'll really shock the world and do something big in the postseason. That's if they can beat the Cowboys who should be resting most of their players since the game can't affect their playoff position.
Whew! I'd hate to think all those years of crippling depression, lonely nights and masturbation were for no reason whatsoever. Imagine how stupid I'd feel then.
And yet, relief is not quite the emotion I feel the most.
I've been meaning to re-open this journal to the public for a while. I'd been hoping to be able to have some happy posts up at the top when that happened. Well, maybe not happy, that's not what I do but more lighthearted anyway. A touch of absurdity to make it go down easier.
I guess the above segment is as close as it gets these days. But we've passed the winter solstice so things should brighten up soon enough. And I'd like to be more open, not ashamed of who I am. I don't feel like I can say these things to anyone in person. I want to, kind of, I just can't get it out. Except through this keyboard.
I've also gone through and coded all references to my place of employment. Henceforth, I work at the IT Poker Room. If you can't figure out what that means, you're too stupid to read this blog.
Oh, this is lighthearted. The Redskins don't suck right now. Yay! But I've learned from the past to expect the worst. The first year I got into the Redskins was my Freshman year in High School. They started the year 7-1 and then turned to crap missing they playoffs at 9-7. Shit happens, to the Redskins that just don't happen to anyone else. Your starting Quarterback knocking himself out of the game by celebrating a touchdown, by head-butting the stadium. Calling back-to-back timeouts and giving the other team 15 free yards for a game-winning field goal. Steve Spurrier.
But hey, maybe this time they'll really shock the world and do something big in the postseason. That's if they can beat the Cowboys who should be resting most of their players since the game can't affect their playoff position.