i found you
it hits you like a bus loaded with emotions. everything you had locked up for years suddenly explodes out of every pore.
i never forgot you. i always thought about you. sometimes i'd wonder what you'd be doing now if you were still with us. sometimes i would wonder if we'd still be friends. and even if we weren't would you have remembered us laughing, would you have remembered our conversations.
and all i was left with was wonder and imagination. you never gave yourself the chance. i will never fully know why. in my own mind that I share with no one else i have ideas.
i for many years felt guilty. that parts of my actions and words contributed to you leaving us. what if i'd not said that. what if i'd not done this. but there comes a time when you realise that these were your actions and your choices. and my own experiences over the years have lead me to an unfortunate understanding of what you may have felt. and why you felt there was no other way. i just wish there had been another way.
i found you today. you are at rest in the hills my friend. what a perfect place. it's beautiful there. it's peaceful. i'd wondered for years where your resting place was. i could ask no one. after you died we all grieved privately. we didn't openly discuss how we felt. we were 15. we didn't know how to deal with this. and it's taken me this many years to find you. how glad i am to have found you.
we will come visit you. with our own quiet words spoken to ourselves, for but only you to hear. i'm sure we'll come with tears, but you must understand my friend how terribly we miss you. even after all these years. if only you'd known how much we all loved you and how your loss would never be filled. we cannot live by what if's because we will never have you back, but we'll forever hold your spirit.
I love you MK. may you be at peace.
i never forgot you. i always thought about you. sometimes i'd wonder what you'd be doing now if you were still with us. sometimes i would wonder if we'd still be friends. and even if we weren't would you have remembered us laughing, would you have remembered our conversations.
and all i was left with was wonder and imagination. you never gave yourself the chance. i will never fully know why. in my own mind that I share with no one else i have ideas.
i for many years felt guilty. that parts of my actions and words contributed to you leaving us. what if i'd not said that. what if i'd not done this. but there comes a time when you realise that these were your actions and your choices. and my own experiences over the years have lead me to an unfortunate understanding of what you may have felt. and why you felt there was no other way. i just wish there had been another way.
i found you today. you are at rest in the hills my friend. what a perfect place. it's beautiful there. it's peaceful. i'd wondered for years where your resting place was. i could ask no one. after you died we all grieved privately. we didn't openly discuss how we felt. we were 15. we didn't know how to deal with this. and it's taken me this many years to find you. how glad i am to have found you.
we will come visit you. with our own quiet words spoken to ourselves, for but only you to hear. i'm sure we'll come with tears, but you must understand my friend how terribly we miss you. even after all these years. if only you'd known how much we all loved you and how your loss would never be filled. we cannot live by what if's because we will never have you back, but we'll forever hold your spirit.
I love you MK. may you be at peace.