(no subject)
Lets see, I have so much to say right now. Well I am babysitting tonight. Lindsey just left; she came over so I could help her with the homework she missed today.
Last night was the band show. It was a fun time hanging out with Carly. Nathan was there... We gave each other a hug and just went our seperate ways. It just so hard. I loved him so much. I had something with him. Like actual love. I want so bad to feel that again. To be loved in return so much. 3 in the morning phone calls. Texts saying im the prettiest girl in the world. But not from him. Never agin would I ever go back to him. I have a hate toward him. I have a hate toward Stephen because I loved him as well. I loved Stephen a lot too. I think it was because of our friendship. I am happy we actually started talking again. But I couldent date him again. Oh how I would want to. I dont know why I like him so much...its kinda hard. But I dont need a guy to make me happy. Thats not what I am saying at all. I am happy right now just flirting away. But I want love again. I want fireworks. I want to look forward to something. Something to take some extra time away that I really dont even have. I am just really confused. I pray about it all the time. I just need to pray for patience now. I know what I need to do but I just cant. But no one said life was easy. Im just so fed up with things, ex-boyfriends, and jelousy. I am such a jelous girl. I mean I dont even have a crush. Who is there to like? I dont know anyone who likes me right now. You could say I feel kind of lonely.
Well I now work mon, tue, and wed. Teaching swimming lessons.
I babysit thursdays
I have football games on fridays
This saturday I am working from 12:15-11:15 at night:'-[ (makes me want to atucally cry)
On sunday I am a sunday school teacher and then at night I have to work 6-close(around 11)
Where did my life go? I have school and work and band, and like a hour a week with the friends who actually care.
I want someone to tell me its okay, because for once Im not. I feel a void or something missing. Maybe a friend. Maybe someone to talk to who wont judge or say anything rude.
&& this medicine is crazy, no one knows what it freaking feels like to have my lips. Yes my lips. They really hurt, and im not joking or trying to be funny. This medicine makes me feel sad or want to cry. I am not depressed though.
Well thats all I have to say,
Paige
Last night was the band show. It was a fun time hanging out with Carly. Nathan was there... We gave each other a hug and just went our seperate ways. It just so hard. I loved him so much. I had something with him. Like actual love. I want so bad to feel that again. To be loved in return so much. 3 in the morning phone calls. Texts saying im the prettiest girl in the world. But not from him. Never agin would I ever go back to him. I have a hate toward him. I have a hate toward Stephen because I loved him as well. I loved Stephen a lot too. I think it was because of our friendship. I am happy we actually started talking again. But I couldent date him again. Oh how I would want to. I dont know why I like him so much...its kinda hard. But I dont need a guy to make me happy. Thats not what I am saying at all. I am happy right now just flirting away. But I want love again. I want fireworks. I want to look forward to something. Something to take some extra time away that I really dont even have. I am just really confused. I pray about it all the time. I just need to pray for patience now. I know what I need to do but I just cant. But no one said life was easy. Im just so fed up with things, ex-boyfriends, and jelousy. I am such a jelous girl. I mean I dont even have a crush. Who is there to like? I dont know anyone who likes me right now. You could say I feel kind of lonely.
Well I now work mon, tue, and wed. Teaching swimming lessons.
I babysit thursdays
I have football games on fridays
This saturday I am working from 12:15-11:15 at night:'-[ (makes me want to atucally cry)
On sunday I am a sunday school teacher and then at night I have to work 6-close(around 11)
Where did my life go? I have school and work and band, and like a hour a week with the friends who actually care.
I want someone to tell me its okay, because for once Im not. I feel a void or something missing. Maybe a friend. Maybe someone to talk to who wont judge or say anything rude.
&& this medicine is crazy, no one knows what it freaking feels like to have my lips. Yes my lips. They really hurt, and im not joking or trying to be funny. This medicine makes me feel sad or want to cry. I am not depressed though.
Well thats all I have to say,
Paige