_001. "Sugar We're Going Down"
we're falling apart...
one by one they came
one by one they left
residence is supposed home
yet every night outside we roam
we joking called ourselves the "magsombol nation"
then what the fuck is with this dissociation
hard to admit, but i'm getting lonely
aunts and uncles divorcing, no more brags about their 'honey'
backstabbing, "chismis" goes about
my heart is overwhelmed with doubt
we're falling apart, we're not okay
i lied, i lied, i was never okay
dear God, how much are you going to make me fucking pray?
soon it'll be the four of us
and only us
The fuck is wrong with everyone. Or am i just overreacting? Everyone is leaving, they're fucking GOING. I didn't think about it much when Tito James left...the one with the baby...my supposed stupid uncle who keeps giving me shit...Him and Tita Mia didn't express much gratitude towards us when they left for Hercules, so I thought good riddance. But I had to admit that the house got a little too quiet for my liking after that.
Tonight...Tita Peachy and Lola Elvie left. Even though they only stayed with us for a month, they both showed such gratitude...they hugged each of us in the house and told us how thankful they were they got to stay with us. I didn't want to watch them go, so after I said goodbye I just ran upstairs and did some homework. I heard the taxi pull into our driveway, heard the car doors slam, and off they went...The house is now even more quiet.
Next month, Tito Quien and his family will be leaving us...they'll be moving to San Anselmo. Jesus...I know I've endlessly complained about living with them, but just thinking of them leaving makes me start to miss them even though they're still physically here in front of my face. Today, Martin asked me to help decorate a card for his friend Jack. In big red letters, he wrote 'Goodbye' with a happy Spongebob he drew on the front. In the card, he wrote: 'Dear Jack, Thanks for being my best friend, but I'm moving to San Anselmo. Goodbye. Have fun in school and CCD next year. -Martin'. I know it's silly, but the simple little note made me tear a little despite the annoying Spongebob and Patrick stickers all over it. Era made a card for her friend Jae-Yong. It was actually a little "book" of a whole bunch of anime characters that she and Jae-Yong made up. As for Matthew, he stopped talking to his good friend Eric a long time ago, so I don't think he's going to be making anything for him. I don't know why Matthew and Eric stopped talking, but Matthew's kind of a loner now at his new school. He doesn't socialize much and is really shy, so I really don't know what friends actually exist in his life.
Tito Quien and his family are really going...once they do it'll just be Symone, my mom, my dad and me. We'll live in both houses here in Novato and Fairfield...But both houses are so big for once family, I feel like calling over the rest of the relatives in the Philippines and go "Hey! Get your butts over here now, I'm so friggin' lonely! Wah!!!"
Well, there's MY anguish.
one by one they came
one by one they left
residence is supposed home
yet every night outside we roam
we joking called ourselves the "magsombol nation"
then what the fuck is with this dissociation
hard to admit, but i'm getting lonely
aunts and uncles divorcing, no more brags about their 'honey'
backstabbing, "chismis" goes about
my heart is overwhelmed with doubt
we're falling apart, we're not okay
i lied, i lied, i was never okay
dear God, how much are you going to make me fucking pray?
soon it'll be the four of us
and only us
The fuck is wrong with everyone. Or am i just overreacting? Everyone is leaving, they're fucking GOING. I didn't think about it much when Tito James left...the one with the baby...my supposed stupid uncle who keeps giving me shit...Him and Tita Mia didn't express much gratitude towards us when they left for Hercules, so I thought good riddance. But I had to admit that the house got a little too quiet for my liking after that.
Tonight...Tita Peachy and Lola Elvie left. Even though they only stayed with us for a month, they both showed such gratitude...they hugged each of us in the house and told us how thankful they were they got to stay with us. I didn't want to watch them go, so after I said goodbye I just ran upstairs and did some homework. I heard the taxi pull into our driveway, heard the car doors slam, and off they went...The house is now even more quiet.
Next month, Tito Quien and his family will be leaving us...they'll be moving to San Anselmo. Jesus...I know I've endlessly complained about living with them, but just thinking of them leaving makes me start to miss them even though they're still physically here in front of my face. Today, Martin asked me to help decorate a card for his friend Jack. In big red letters, he wrote 'Goodbye' with a happy Spongebob he drew on the front. In the card, he wrote: 'Dear Jack, Thanks for being my best friend, but I'm moving to San Anselmo. Goodbye. Have fun in school and CCD next year. -Martin'. I know it's silly, but the simple little note made me tear a little despite the annoying Spongebob and Patrick stickers all over it. Era made a card for her friend Jae-Yong. It was actually a little "book" of a whole bunch of anime characters that she and Jae-Yong made up. As for Matthew, he stopped talking to his good friend Eric a long time ago, so I don't think he's going to be making anything for him. I don't know why Matthew and Eric stopped talking, but Matthew's kind of a loner now at his new school. He doesn't socialize much and is really shy, so I really don't know what friends actually exist in his life.
Tito Quien and his family are really going...once they do it'll just be Symone, my mom, my dad and me. We'll live in both houses here in Novato and Fairfield...But both houses are so big for once family, I feel like calling over the rest of the relatives in the Philippines and go "Hey! Get your butts over here now, I'm so friggin' lonely! Wah!!!"
Well, there's MY anguish.