One last thing
I thought I'd write something about this before heading to bed, because after doing it, it seemed like the kind of thing to write about. Last year, before I went to Holy Cross to start my freshman year, I did a lot of thinking about who I was, and where I had came from. I then came up with the idea to go out late at night after all the packing was done, and when the streets were empty, and drive to a few of the places that had huge influences on my first eighteen years. I went to both of my grandmothers' old houses (both of whom are dead now), my high school, my elementary school, and the church I used to attend. It was a way that I felt brought closure to my childhood, and it really got me ready for the next step towards college. I thought about that night's trip a lot, but the last couple of months went by without much of a remembrance of it. However, when I finished packing tonight, I was about ready to go to bed when the idea to do it again popped into my head. So despite my exhaustion and the fact that I need to be up at 7:30 tomorrow to get to Holy Cross, I went out on an hour-long drive to visit the old spots once again. None of them play an active role in my life anymore, but St. Peter's (my grade school/former Church), St. Sebastian's (my high school), Gran's (mom's mom) house, and Grammy's (dad's mom) house are places that, for better or worse, have shaped me into the person that I am today.
It's really something to go back to a place that you haven't visited in years, because you can see all the memories in your head juxtaposed against all the small, cosmetic changes that conflict with the perfect vision stuck inside your head. Trees are moved, houses are different colors, and hundreds of little things like that threaten to take you out of the moment, to remind you that this isn't the past, that you're never going to be able to connect with the same vivacity that you once experienced. But even so, the emotions are still there, and they remind you that no matter what the outside looks like, the things that you loved (or hated) still happened there, and no number of changes can ever take that away. Looking at Gran's house, which I haven't been inside since I was 10, I can still remember the exact layout of her house. The ones you love leave the greatest impact, and until the day I die, I'm sure I'll be able to remember exactly how that house was laid out.
I don't want to ramble any more, but I suppose the moral of the story is this: Try and enjoy everything you have in the present. It's wonderful to look back to the past and remember the great times, but those little things that have changed continue to pop up, and to make sure to remind you that this isn't the past anymore. You have to continue to move forward. If you use your past as an inspiration, as a building block for your future, then something can be gained from it.
It's really something to go back to a place that you haven't visited in years, because you can see all the memories in your head juxtaposed against all the small, cosmetic changes that conflict with the perfect vision stuck inside your head. Trees are moved, houses are different colors, and hundreds of little things like that threaten to take you out of the moment, to remind you that this isn't the past, that you're never going to be able to connect with the same vivacity that you once experienced. But even so, the emotions are still there, and they remind you that no matter what the outside looks like, the things that you loved (or hated) still happened there, and no number of changes can ever take that away. Looking at Gran's house, which I haven't been inside since I was 10, I can still remember the exact layout of her house. The ones you love leave the greatest impact, and until the day I die, I'm sure I'll be able to remember exactly how that house was laid out.
I don't want to ramble any more, but I suppose the moral of the story is this: Try and enjoy everything you have in the present. It's wonderful to look back to the past and remember the great times, but those little things that have changed continue to pop up, and to make sure to remind you that this isn't the past anymore. You have to continue to move forward. If you use your past as an inspiration, as a building block for your future, then something can be gained from it.