Aug 25, 2005 20:30
So it's time to vent and get this all out! Have you ever had one of those days where you think you are having a good day but then you figure out you are wrong! So thats what happened to me. I was a lot less shy today and I actually talked to different people! But then Shannon told me she heard this girl talking about me. It was funny she mentioned it because I thought she was giving me dirty looks in choir! Anyways what she was talking was sketchy. Then I went into Shannon's house after school and talked with Bobby, Jesse, and Shannon about all of it. Bobby basically said my problem was I had too much going for me and people where threatened by that. What that means is that in his words people don't like me because i am good at acting, singing, school, and I am pretty. Ok I don't really agree with all of those things or anything but I mean if thats true that is bull-shit! Also since people there dress what would be unique at a normal high school and I dress more like a normal high school kid they think I am different or something! Ok but I mean they are all dressing like that to be unique but I mean I am more unique by not trying to be I think! I mean I stand out with my preppy, glam, boho style. I don't see why that bothers anyone. It's weird but I feel like Elle Woods you know people just want me to be bad at things and just be the girl who wears pink and is pretty. Thats not me I am way more complex! I mean Bobby is a AAW guy and he liked me and was able to talk to me like I was unique and interesting and different. I even think Jesse and Shannon may be embaressed of me! I mean because like they don't think I can fit in with there group or something! Well I mean it doesn't seem like anyone is inviting or even wants me in there group. Only Rachael. I don't know I mean I like the teachers, and the classes. I just wish people would stop judging me and give me a chance to fit in. Whatever I mean going back to North would be stupid. I can't just expect that everyone I come across is going to give me a chance. I mean they should I give them a chance but I guess people don't give a shit! I mean I think I have an ok personality but it really doesn't match me clothes and looks. I think people would guess I am like my sister rich, snubby, bitchy I don't know. I am not like that I don't care where people grew up or how they dress or what color they are. If they have a personality I like I like them! Ok well it's pathetic but I am seriously so exhausted right now that I am going to go to bed early. I don't know hopefully people will see me for me eventually!