On A Tuesday
Cross posted at 31_days using the theme "Days of grass and sun"
I died on a Tuesday, oddly enough I was born on a Tuesday as well. Everything really does come full circle often it's one hell of a circle. It's not as if I wished to die or that I even like it. It's rather boring and mundane despite rumors to the contrary. I was young, intelligent had a lot to give to the world. It's those gifts that I couldn't share and were my down fall. I realized this after it was too late. Seems it always works that way. My friends started to fade from me, making excuses and dropping plans along with promises. My family I think started to fear me unsure of what I was doing or how to treat me. For them I should have stopped.
Now I watch them wishing I could picnic in the grass and bathe in the sun. Wishing for my laughter to be heard again. More than that I want to tell them I am sorry. Was it even worth it? Was my death considered a great sacrifice that opened the gate to some great and grand mission? I am not seeing the signs of that. She tries to experience joy as she laughs, but there is no emotion felt. As he silently plays with his own daughter, his wife deciding to stay home. Too private and personally to come.
He warned me countless times. I refused to listen, just as stubborn as he, if not more so. He visits me sometimes but he's too upset with me to stay for long. I tried for years to reach him, never gave up hope, and even gave my life to be with him. Because of him I lost my own life. Again I ask was it worth it? I broke my mother's soul in half, it will never be whole again. I caused my brother's biggest fear to come true. All because I thought I was doing the right thing.
I died on a Tuesday, oddly enough I was born on a Tuesday as well. Everything really does come full circle often it's one hell of a circle. It's not as if I wished to die or that I even like it. It's rather boring and mundane despite rumors to the contrary. I was young, intelligent had a lot to give to the world. It's those gifts that I couldn't share and were my down fall. I realized this after it was too late. Seems it always works that way. My friends started to fade from me, making excuses and dropping plans along with promises. My family I think started to fear me unsure of what I was doing or how to treat me. For them I should have stopped.
Now I watch them wishing I could picnic in the grass and bathe in the sun. Wishing for my laughter to be heard again. More than that I want to tell them I am sorry. Was it even worth it? Was my death considered a great sacrifice that opened the gate to some great and grand mission? I am not seeing the signs of that. She tries to experience joy as she laughs, but there is no emotion felt. As he silently plays with his own daughter, his wife deciding to stay home. Too private and personally to come.
He warned me countless times. I refused to listen, just as stubborn as he, if not more so. He visits me sometimes but he's too upset with me to stay for long. I tried for years to reach him, never gave up hope, and even gave my life to be with him. Because of him I lost my own life. Again I ask was it worth it? I broke my mother's soul in half, it will never be whole again. I caused my brother's biggest fear to come true. All because I thought I was doing the right thing.