Fill it to the fucking brim!
I sit here at my computer every night looking for some kind of answer to pop out at me. Tonight I've finally realized that nothing will just pop out at me...there is nothing I'm looking for, but rather something I'm waiting for. I'm waiting for a solution to all my problems but tonight I've come to the conclusion that I'm fucked...proper fucked to be exact.
It's funny...as of late my initial feelings of anger have turned to frustration and depression. I'm not angry all the time (although I still have been getting angry) and it's only at stupid shit. Stupid shit and people being stupid. I just wish I could find a simple way to help myself because I've realized finally that's what I have to do. I cannot rely on others to help me; only I can help myself. I cannot rely on others to guide me at my own will or even at all. I cannot rely on anyone else to be there for me when I need them. This is not to say that I feel like I can't depend on my friends. For the most part I feel that I'm surrounded by a great group of friends who I'd do anything for. Like for instance if one of my best friends wanted me to kill his girlfriend for him so he wouldn't have to date her anymore...someone we all hated...well then sure, I'd snuff her out! :) But back to being serious, it's not that I don't trust my friends...it's that I need to rely on myself more to get shit done instead of looking for support all the time.
All I wanna do is drink...
It's funny...as of late my initial feelings of anger have turned to frustration and depression. I'm not angry all the time (although I still have been getting angry) and it's only at stupid shit. Stupid shit and people being stupid. I just wish I could find a simple way to help myself because I've realized finally that's what I have to do. I cannot rely on others to help me; only I can help myself. I cannot rely on others to guide me at my own will or even at all. I cannot rely on anyone else to be there for me when I need them. This is not to say that I feel like I can't depend on my friends. For the most part I feel that I'm surrounded by a great group of friends who I'd do anything for. Like for instance if one of my best friends wanted me to kill his girlfriend for him so he wouldn't have to date her anymore...someone we all hated...well then sure, I'd snuff her out! :) But back to being serious, it's not that I don't trust my friends...it's that I need to rely on myself more to get shit done instead of looking for support all the time.
All I wanna do is drink...