She never looked so good, and it never felt so right.

[soviet_roulette]

I can only express this in a cryptic manner. I can't lay it down straight, for words can't really do it justice. I can't be too vague, because I'm only going to frustrate myself further, which would defeat the object of expressing how I feel here.
I'm doing this as a kind of outlet. Let's use the analogy of a blocked steam pipe;

You open a blocked steam pipe wide, and you get a big explosion. People die.
You open a blocked steam pipe gently, and relieve the pressure little by little, no damage is caused, and everything is fine.

That's what I'm doing now. Relieving this pressure little by little, so nobody is going to be upset or hurt. I think it is all for the best, because trying to bottle things up and forget about them never ever works from my experience.

I want what I can't have. It isn't fair on somebody.

I feel like I shouldn't. I'm not over this yet.

I question in a way that I should be frightened of. Am I driving myself crazy?

I am thinking in a manner I shouldn't. Could I have been crazy in the first place?

I have something on my mind I want to tear out. Is it wrong to try and re-write the past?

I don't like the way I bottle things up. Others (and myself) have to suffer because of it.

I am the only one to blame for feeling this way. I know I am.

I need to sort myself out. Fast. Before I manage to do something I'll regret.