FUCKING HIPPIES

[eric_ka_cartman]

Okay.

Okay.

We have gotten overrun by fucking hippies the past few days.

I cannot raise my daughter in such a filthy environment

We gotta take em out before they start up drum circles.

I know they're our parents, but I can't deal with this shit.

My mom is hitting on me and I don't like it! It's weird. I'm not Oedipus, dammit!

Who's with me

Comments

[liasonne]

What a downer.

I thought you were like, cool, man. Fuck, man.

[eric_ka_cartman]

Sorry, Lianne. I got a kid I gotta think about.

You're my mother, by the way. I'm your son from the future.

[liasonne]

Oh my god, a kid? You're like, way young! I thought I got a girl pre--

... Wait, what.

What? Were you drinking that water Randy gave us?

[eric_ka_cartman]

I'm eighteen. I fucked up, and now I'm stepping up and being a man.

No, I'm not.

My name is Eric Theodore Cartman. You're my mom. And dad. Somehow.

[liasonne]

I'm eighteen. You can't be, like, my son!

I might suck at math, but even I know that DOESN'T WORK!

I'm not your mom, or your dad! But then how did you know about that? I don't even know you!

I need to like.. no, you're tripping me out, man. Stop tripping.

[eric_ka_cartman]

Future son, as in you haven't had me yet.

And yes, I'm well aware that you have BOTH parts. A cock and a vag. You're a hermaphrodite.

[liasonne]

I'm not having any kids! Shelly and I, like. Us and Randy, already said, we're not having any kids to bring us down and kill our buzz, kids suck!

... Y-You could have heard that from somewhere around town! Lots of people know that!!

[eric_ka_cartman]

Glad to know you love me so much, mom.

I'm your entire world. I'm all you've got.

[liasonne]

I'm not your mom, dude!

I'm.. no. I have Shelly! And Randy! And all our friends back home, so.. fuck you, man! I don't have to listen to this crazy shit!

[eric_ka_cartman]

[Even though this is a different version of his mom, her words still sting him pretty bad]

Yeah. Okay.

[liasonne]

[She can tell she's hurt his feelings, and immediately feels a little bad.]

... Wait, look, Eric. Whatever.

I'm not your mom, but like. You seem pretty rad. I can help you find your real mom! Totally, man!

[eric_ka_cartman]

No, it's fine, dude.

My real mom is back home.

[liasonne]

... Are you still gunna kill me and my friends?

[eric_ka_cartman]

If you keep away from my daughter, you're fine.

[liasonne]

Okay, cool. Babies don't get high anyway, man!

Who's your girl though?

[eric_ka_cartman]

Bebe Stevens.