Title: Anywhere
Author:
southoffebruaryFandom: X Files
Characters: Mulder/Scully
Prompt: #034. Leave at
100_situationsWord Count: 884
Rating: G
Summary: I know she would’ve given up her life in a heartbeat.
Author's Notes: Set during The Truth. Thanks to my beta.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don’t sue, ect, ect.
xXx
Five months back I could have had everything I wanted. If I had given up my quest that short time ago, everything would have been so much different. I could’ve saved the woman beside me so much pain. I could’ve been free from the current mess I’ve turned my life into. We could’ve been free from the one thing that consumed our lives for so many years.
Instead, my actions have caused the woman next to me to leave her life behind and come with me on this unknown journey. And as I’m driving down a vacant stretch of highway all I can think about is those five little words that could’ve saved us both so much grief.
Come away with me, Scully.
All I had to do was ask, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I couldn’t ask her nearly a year ago on the day I left her to raise our son alone. I couldn’t bring myself to ask her in the email I sent five months ago. All I could manage were a few lines of self-pity followed by how much I missed her and our son.
I thought that one question would bring on a thousand reasons why she couldn’t. Not because she didn't want to be with me, but simply because her reasons were right. I on the other hand only had one argument in my defence. I loved her. I couldn’t keep on living as if I didn’t know her or as if I didn't want to make a life with her.
However, I knew I couldn’t ask her to leave her life, to never speak to her loved ones again. Not just for me. She deserved better than being hidden away from her family and her life in a tiny shack on the outskirts of Roswell.
Now as I watch her sleeping beside me, I know she would’ve given up her life in a heartbeat.
Though, I could never actually picture her moving to Roswell with me. I could never see her wanting to live near the one place that exploits the ever famous alien crash. Even if I have managed to make her a believer after all these years, there is still a large part of the scientist alive and well in her. One that’s ready to disprove any fact or piece of evidence that wasn’t one-hundred percent accurate.
I imagined her up in D.C. raising her questioning eyebrow at my request. Then her giving me the renowned, disbelieving Scully-scoff. The one that she used to kill all of my way-out theories within seconds.
Nevertheless, so many times I wanted to tell her how perfect it would be for the three of us. No one would find us; no one would have to know who we were. I just wanted to be there with her, with William.
It’s only now that I realize she wanted it too. She just wanted to be anywhere we could call home together. It’s like we were two star-crossed lovers dreaming of the day we could run away together. Now, here we are getting our wish but it has a few drastic amendments.
If I had just had the balls to send that email and let this alien bullshit die once and for all, I might still have my family. Granted, Scully and I would still be on the run or in hiding, but that’s no different from our current situation. Back then however, I wasn’t facing the death penalty, nor was Scully suffering the pain of losing another child.
xXxXx
I know I should be heading somewhere safe instead of where I’m going. I should be taking Scully out of the country like Kersh told us to. But I’m not. I need some answers about what I found in that government facility, I need to know how I can change things. So I’m on this lonely highway still selfishly searching for answers and dragging her along for the ride.
However important she may be to me, I can’t let it go. The self-destructive bastard inside me won’t let go of years of near misses and unsolved cases. When I’m given an opportunity to discover that precious truth I’ve been looking for, I’ll take it.
I promised myself my trip to Mount Weather was going to be the last time. It was the last time I’d put my ass on the line for the thing that’s kept me from my family. It killed me being away from Scully and William for nearly a year, I’d had enough.
When I set out on my last pursuit, I was hoping to find something that would grant me a safe passage home. Anything so that I could be with the one person who ever really gave a damn about me.
You’d think I wouldn’t be foolish enough to believe an anonymous tip off after all these years. But I did and it backfired. And here is Scully, still by my side, even on this ridiculous journey to see the man who calls himself the keeper of the truth.
I know she was worried, and deep down she probably still is, but despite her doubts, she eventually smiled at me and simply said.
“Anywhere is fine, Mulder. As long as we’re going there together.”