Another day, another Atlantis AU...
If you've ever wondered what The Shrine could have been like if John had been the one infected instead of Rodney, then this fic is for you. I gave it my own little twist by putting it in an AU in which Elizabeth never left, Carson is still Carson, and nobody has ever heard of Keller. I like Kanaan and Torren, so we kept them. So, let me present...
Sheppard's Shrine
Day One
“Now just look into the camera, Colonel. This won't take but a moment or two.” Dr. Carson Beckett adjusted the focus on the video camera he was standing behind and smiled at his patient.
John Sheppard blinked at the doctor and sat looking not unlike a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car.
“Do I have to do this, Doc?”
“We need to set up a baseline. I explained all that.” Carson looked at John kindly and waited.
Resigned, John wiped his sweaty palms on his pants and sighed. “All right. What do I do?”
“Begin by telling us who you are and what you're doing here.”
Rapidly, John recited, “Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard United States Air Force assigned to the city of Atlantis in the Pegasus Galaxy. I am responsible for security, training of all military forces assigned to the base and lead my own team on missions to other planets.”
“Very good. That should do it.” Carson fiddled with the controls. “Now if you could answer some simple questions for me.”
“Questions? You didn't say there'd be a test. What kind of questions?” John frowned and fidgeted in his chair.
“Well,” Carson replied, “since you're so good with numbers, why don't we start with having you recite the value of Pi to the twentieth decimal place.”
John's mouth turned up on one side. “Is that all? I thought this would be hard.”
“Whenever you're ready.” Carson made a rolling motion with his fingers and pushed the record button.
“3.14159265358979323846...”
****
It had all started a few days before, when Sheppard's team had been stranded for some time on a flooded planet. They had first clung to the top of the stargate while John dived into the freezing water and dialed the DHD, which allowed them to radio back to Atlantis for help. Elizabeth Weir had scrambled a team and sent a jumper, but by the time they got back to the city, John was suffering from chills and a fever.
Dr. Beckett had rushed the entire team to the infirmary as soon as they returned, and everyone except John had checked out just fine.
“I think he just caught a wee bit of a chill,” Carson explained to Elizabeth, who had waited to hear the results of the exam.
“So it's just a cold, nothing that he may have picked up on the planet?”
“Probably. Teyla did say he was complaining of feeling too warm some time before the unfortunate incident.” The doctor seemed confident.
John appeared beside them dressed in dry clothes with the usual bounce in his step. “Not to worry,” he said with a long glance at Elizabeth in passing. “I'll be right as rain tomorrow and back to my old charming self.”
“Did he say 'right as rain'?” Elizabeth stared at John's departing back and Carson shrugged. “He never says lame things like that.”
Carson raised both eyebrows.
“Well hardly ever.”
****
John seemed back to normal in a day or two except for a few remaining sniffles. The trouble started on the third day when Ronon Dex appeared unexpectedly at Elizabeth's office door.
“Oh, hello Ronon. What can I do for you?” Elizabeth looked up from her laptop.
“Something is wrong with Sheppard.” The big man came further into the room.
“Aside from his slight cold you mean.”
Ronon nodded. “He's acting funny.”
Elizabeth turned her head on one side and thought for a moment. “Can you be a little more specific?”
“We were sparring earlier, and he told me he was glad I came to Atlantis and that he was happy to be my friend.” Ronon stopped for a breath. “And then he hugged me.”
Elizabeth closed the laptop and paid closer attention. “That doesn't really sound like John.”
Ronon gave her a look.
“Okay, I see what you mean. Where is he now?”
“He said he was going to...” Ronon paused again and looked up at the ceiling before continuing. “Ask the food staff if they would make a surprise for the new Marines.”
“Oh dear.”
****
Day Six
“Alrighty then, here we go.” Carson pushed 'record' and nodded at John, who was back in front of the camera.
“Same as before?” John asked.
“Yep, just start with who you are and so on.”
“I am Colonel...no Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard. I am in the Air Force and I fly planes.” John paused and looked a bit sheepish. “That would be hard to forget,” he said, shaking his head at his own awkwardness.
“That's fine then. Now where are you?” Carson smiled in encouragement.
“Atlantis. In the Polaris...no wait I know this...the Pegasus Galaxy.”
****
Carson moved closer to Elizabeth and pointed at the screen. “As you can see, we found something on his latest scan that is of concern.”
Elizabeth glanced over at John, who was chatting with the nurse while she swabbed the site of his latest blood test and back at the scan of John's brain. A black amoebic-like shape was clearly obvious.
“I would imagine that...thing...would cause concern. What exactly is it?”
“Well, it appears to be some sort of parasitic organism with tendrils that are beginning to spread throughout his brain. Quite rapidly actually.”
“I'm guessing he picked this up on that last mission?”
“Most likely. It has not responded to any sort of treatment that we've tried over the last couple of days but seems to be growing at an exponential rate. In fact the parasite seems to be rendering the cells dormant, not killing them, which will result in ever-diminishing brain function and eventually loss of motor control and finally organ function. I surmise his compromised immune system made him more susceptible than the others.”
Elizabeth's brain refused to accept what she was hearing. It was like Carson's voice was coming from a great distance. She clenched her fists so hard she left bloody little half moons on her palms. “Does he know?” she managed to whisper.
Carson turned and winced at the unusual sight of Lt. Col. John Sheppard smiling and telling Marie about the hamster he had as a pet when he was six years old.
“We've explained it as best we can, but the lad is starting to forget quite a few things.”
Elizabeth took a deep steadying breath. “What happens next?”
“Well there's more to the story, I'm afraid.” Carson took her by the elbow and led her a distance away. “This morning while we were doing this latest round of tests, Ronon and Teyla came to me with a very interesting tale.”
Elizabeth motioned for the doctor to continue.
“It seems this condition is fairly common in this galaxy. They call it 'Second Childhood'.”
****
Day Ten
“Okay now, son,” Carson held John by the shoulders to steady him and tried to make eye contact. “You need to focus for just a moment more.”
“Is it time for my math test?”
“Yes it is. Now, can you tell me the value of Pi?”
“Pi? Pi is uh...3 something I think. Then there are a lot more numbers.” John's face scrunched in concentration.
“What about the multiplication tables? Do you remember those?”
John brightened. “I think so. Two times one is two, two times two is four, two times three is six...”
John made it all the way up to two times ten before winding down and looking expectantly at Carson.
“Good job lad. I think that will be enough for today.”
****
Lt. Col. John Sheppard walked his usual route through the city, ending in the control room. He instinctually followed the same routine he almost always did this time of night but couldn't entirely remember why. It just seemed like the right thing to do.
“Hello Chuck, hello Amelia,” he said to the two crew members manning the controls in the command center.
“Good evening, Colonel.”
“Sir.” Amelia ducked her head, which hid her expression. John was unaware that she was disturbed by this kind of greeting coming from her commanding officer.
“Have you seen Elizabeth? She's not in her office and I wanted to talk to her.” John stopped and smiled broadly.
“Yes sir, she's out on the balcony.” Chuck pointed out the large windows on the other side of the tower.
“Thanks, Chuck. See you later.”
Chuck and Amelia exchanged a look as John turned and hurried away.
“Hi, Elizabeth.”
“John, I thought you were making a recording with Carson.” Elizabeth was surprised by his sudden appearance.
“We did that already. He said I passed the test.” John smiled and leaned next to her on the railing.
“That's good.” Elizabeth found it hard to deal with this version of John. His change in personality was a bit disconcerting, not that it was unpleasant. To the contrary, he was more gregarious and forthcoming, never failing to be cheerful and friendly even to the point of chatting about inconsequential personal things. But it was so unlike John Sheppard that she wasn't sure she liked it.
“It's nice here at night,” he observed, “hard to believe things are so wrong.”
Elizabeth wasn't sure at this point how much John was retaining. They were finding it necessary to explain his condition every day all over again, giving him less and less detail as his mind had less and less ability to absorb information. There were still moments when the old John seemed to shine through, but those were becoming less frequent.
“I'm really sorry, John.” Elizabeth turned to him and put a hand on his arm.
John leaned into her touch. “I know you are. I guess this means we can't play chess anymore.”
Her attempt to laugh ended abruptly as she found tears flooding her eyes and a lump choking her.
“So I was thinking...ha,” John laughed, as if suddenly getting his own feeble joke, “that maybe we should say goodbye now while we still can.”
“No.” Elizabeth jerked away from him and folded her arms. “You just forget it, John Sheppard. I won't say goodbye to you.”
“Well, I'm saying it to you.” John took her arm and tried to turn her back toward him, but she shrugged him off.
“Well, I'm not listening.”
“You have to listen, Elizabeth. It's your job.”
“No, I don't have to listen to this.”
“Come on, I want you to remember me as that guy I once was. You know, the one who bugged you and made you mad a lot. That guy. Not the...whatever I'm going to be.” John's hand was gentle on her shoulder, and she turned back toward him.
“I'll always remember that guy. Don't you know that?” She looked up at him with shimmering eyes and for a moment his gaze was perfectly clear and understanding shown out of his hazel eyes. Then his expression changed and became slightly less focused.
Elizabeth couldn't bear to hold his gaze for another second and found herself leaning against his chest with his arms closing around her. He patted her back gently, offering whatever comfort he knew how to give and held her a bit tighter.
“ 'Lizabeth?” he said after a moment.
“Yes, John.”
“Can I kiss you on the lips?”
Elizabeth's heart skipped a beat and then started again with a thump. She reached her hand up and gently rested it against John's cheek. He had skipped shaving and the stubble tickled her palm. Looking fully into his eyes, she didn't see any sign of the shy boy that had seemed to be inhabiting his six foot frame over the last few days.
John lowered his head and touched his lips to hers. She let her hand slide behind his neck and moved closer within the circle of his arms. For a moment they managed to forget the impending end of life as they had known it. And then it was over.
“Thank you, Elizabeth. That was very nice.” John stepped a bit away from her, blushing slightly and not seeming to know what to do next.
Elizabeth swallowed and replied a bit formally. “You're welcome, John. I thought it was nice too.”
****
Day Fifteen
“My name is John. I live in a big city with my friends.” John Sheppard twisted his body from side to side in his seat and tried to wrap his feet around the rungs of the chair.
“Very good. Now do you think you can answer a few questions for me?” Carson Beckett's breath caught in his throat, and he paused a moment to steady himself.
But the man in front of the camera was unaware of the tension in the room.
“Sure, Doctor. What kind of questions?” He stopped his movement and gave the doctor a suspicious look.
“Oh not to worry, son. Just some very easy math. Remember we did these before?”
“Math? I don't think I'm so good at math.” John began to look around the room.
“Oh sure you are. You're very good at math. Can you just tell me your multiplication tables starting with two?”
John's brow furrowed in confusion. “You mean like two three four?”
Carson swallowed the lump in his throat. “Yes, son, just like that.”
****
It was long past midnight and most of the city was sleeping when Rodney McKay found himself violently shaken awake.
Almost tumbling from the small sofa on which he had been trying to rest, Rodney shook the sleep from his muddled brain. “Take it easy. Take it easy. What's the matter now?”
John had released the scientist and was now passing his hand ineffectually over the controls that usually opened his door at a mere thought. The function of the ATA gene was one of the lost components of John's devolving brain, and he had not yet learned to compensate. The others had discovered that it was necessary to keep his door locked or he would slip away and wander the halls of the city looking for someone to talk to.
“Where's Elizabeth. She said she would be here. I want Elizabeth.” John resorted to banging on the door.
“Elizabeth is sleeping.” Rodney gently took the other man's arm and led him away from the door. “She has to sleep, John. She was exhausted.”
“But she said she would stay with me.” John looked around in confusion, and Rodney relaxed at the dawning understanding that was returning to his eyes.
“I'm here with you now, buddy.” Rodney assured him. “Hey, are you thirsty? Why don't we go drink some beer on the pier?”
“Beer? Do I like beer?”
Rodney snorted. “Yeah, you like beer. A lot.”
“I do? I'm not sure Elizabeth would like it if she knew.”
“Then we won't tell her.”
“But it's not nice to keep secrets.”
“Come on, here's your jacket. Put it on and let's go. I promise I won't tell Elizabeth.”
Sitting on the pier, feet swinging, the two friends drank quietly enjoying the moonlight and the warm breeze off the ocean.
Breaking the silence and causing Rodney to spit out a mouthful of beer, John suddenly offered. “Elizabeth is my girlfriend. I think she likes me. A lot.”
Rodney coughed, swallowed several times and then realized no reply was necessary.
A while later John seemed to have a new subject on his mind.
“Rodney, was I ever as smart as you?”
“Yes ,John, you were somewhat as smart as me.”
“Ronon Dex is my big friend. He has a really huge gun.” He held his hands a long ways apart. “And he said if I was good. I could hold it.”
Rodney batted away tears and took another swallow of beer, then popped open a fresh one and handed it to John, who took it without protest.
“Teyla said when I'm...better...she might let me play with Torren,” John said proudly, taking a huge gulp of beer and burping loudly. “She let me hold him yesterday. He's kinda slippery but it was nice.”
Rodney listened to his friend's ramblings as he related a bit about each of those who had been taking turns watching him. When he was himself, John Sheppard had been reticent at the best of times about any kind of emotional attachment. Yet, now, here he was pouring out his innermost feelings about each and every one of them.
Maybe there was a lesson to be learned for all of them in this hopeless situation.
The next morning the beer party didn't seem like quite such a good idea as Rodney held his head, which Elizabeth's voice was piercing like a knife.
“Rodney, you didn't give him beer? I question the wisdom of that decision.” Elizabeth was a bit irritated from too little sleep, and finding John and Rodney both snoring loudly and reeking of beer fumes hadn't helped.
Rodney looked around the infirmary where they had gone to wait for John to complete his exam. Elizabeth had knocked on John's door much too early and had declared that they must get cleaned up because John had an appointment with Doctor Beckett.
“But I don't want to go see Doctor Beckett. He sticks me with sharp needles. I don't like that 'Lizbeth.” John had protested to no avail. So now here they were in the infirmary again.
“You're not his mother, Elizabeth. In spite of appearances he's a grown man. Besides, we had a nice little ...shall we say revealing conversation.”
“Really? Revealing in what way?”
Rodney smirked at her. “You're his girlfriend.”
When Elizabeth didn't answer right away, Rodney peered at her a little more closely. “But we know that is just silly...right?”
Elizabeth developed a sudden interest in a nearby cabinet of medical equipment. “Well,” she finally said, “I can see where he might think ...oh look...just let it go okay, Rodney.”
“No, I don't think I will let it go.” Rodney grinned at her and snapped his fingers. “He's lost his inhibitions. I know he's always had a thing for you. Oh dear God, does this mean he has to go though puberty again? Because I don't think I can survive that.”
More finger snapping. “Something happened, didn't it? I mean before he got so far gone.” The smile faded.
“Rodney.” Elizabeth sighed and looked over toward John and Carson. John was trying to pull his arm away from Carson in a desperate attempt to prevent the doctor from taking another blood sample. He raised his head and, finding Elizabeth, reached out to her with his other hand.
“ 'Lizbeth, make him stop. I don't want any more sharp needles.”
Elizabeth walked over and took his outstretched hand. “It's okay John. Look, Teyla and Ronon are here. We have something we want to talk to you about.”
“You do?” John looked around at his friends expectantly.
Ronon stepped closer to the exam table and leaned over a bit. “Yeah, buddy, how'd you like to go on a little trip?”
****
Elizabeth still wasn't sure that Ronon and Teyla's plan was a good one, and Carson and Rodney had been vocally skeptical when they had explained it before presenting the idea to John.
“You want to what?” Elizabeth looked back and forth between the two Pegasus natives with a frown.
Not quite as tactful, Carson muttered something that sounded like “lunacy” and took a step closer.
Teyla put a gentle hand on Ronon's arm and took over the explanation.
“The Second Childhood is well known in this galaxy,” Teyla explained. “It can be quite sudden and devastating to families, but there is a shrine that will allow the sufferer to have a short time of clarity.”
“And then they die anyway?” Rodney was blunt, ignoring Elizabeth's sharp look.
Ronon and Teyla exchanged a glance and both nodded.
“We have seen the effects of the Shrine of Talus among both our peoples,” she insisted. “It gives them a chance to say goodbye to their loved ones with dignity.”
“And,” Ronon said, taking up the argument, “instead of a long drawn out end, it gives them a quick death. Sheppard would want that.”
“Just where is this so-called shrine?” Carson asked
“It's on a planet called Talus in a cave that's behind a waterfall. It's one of the original worlds of the Ancestors. When I was six we took my grandfather there. He had to be carried most of the way from the gate. We can do it in about half the time it took back then.”
“Talus,” Rodney interjected, “that planet has a Wraith outpost. Good plan if we all want to die a particularly painful death.”
“Well, that's not the only problem,” Elizabeth said.
“You don't believe me,” Ronon interrupted.
Elizabeth raised her hand. “Now I didn't say...”
“Well I did,” Rodney interrupted, “a magic shrine inside a cave behind a waterfall? Please, what do you think this is, Princess Bride?”
“Rodney.” Elizabeth stopped him. But her eyes refused to meet either Ronon's or Teyla's.
“I was there.” Ronon insisted, his voice rising.
“But just listen to yourself lad,” Carson said. “You were six years old. Don't you think a wee boy would be fascinated by the story of a magical shrine?”
“Did I say it was magic?” Ronon was getting louder and once again, Teyla moved to calm him.
“All I know is,” Ronon went on in a quieter voice, “in a matter of seconds I saw my grandfather go from someone who couldn't speak his own name to the man that taught me how to track and hunt.”
“You learned to hunt when you were six years old?” Rodney earned a glare from everyone present for his remark and a growl from Ronon.
“ For one day, he got to hold his wife in his arms and share a meal with the people that he loved. And then he died with honor. You can say I was too young to remember, but I know what I saw. And we can do the same thing for Sheppard.” Ronon turned away after that long speech, and Teyla searched Elizabeth's eyes.
“I think it would be worth the risk,” Teyla said, “and I think John would agree.”
“Now hold on just a bloody minute,” Carson spoke up. “Nobody is taking my patient anywhere without my permission, and you won't get that until you talk to the Colonel himself.”
****
It was left to Ronon to explain their plan to John, and with Teyla's help, he presented the idea as simply as possible. For a moment John got his old determined look on his face and nodded fiercely.
“Sounds like a plan,” he said, sounding so much like the old John that everyone laughed without thinking. But then a second later he tugged on Rodney's sleeve.
Rodney took a step closer to the gurney on which John was sitting, and John said in a loud whisper, “Then I won't have to go see Doctor Beckett anymore?”
Rodney swallowed and patted his back in reassurance.“Then you won't have to go see Doctor Beckett anymore.”
“No more sharp needles?”
“No...no more sharp needles.”
****
“You know, he must have really been a sweet lad.”
Ronon turned at Carson's observation and looked in the direction of the exam table. John was smiling up at Rodney, who was holding his hand while Marie buttoned up his shirt.
The big man nodded and his own mouth turned up in a slight smile. “Yeah. Yesterday he said he liked my hair and asked if I thought his would do that.”
Carson laughed aloud. “Bless him. I guess the sense of humor is still intact.”
“How old do you think he is right now, Doc?”
“Oh around five, I'd say. Sometimes older. It won't be long now.”
Ronon nodded, not needing to repeat his belief that the trip to the Shrine must take place sooner rather than later.
Carson turned to Elizabeth, who had been silent for far too long. He could tell by the look in her eyes that she had made her decision.
“Elizabeth, you can't seriously be considering this daft plan.”
“He's going to die, Carson.” Her voice broke on the last word, and she turned away, arms folded.
Defeated, the doctor put his hand on Elizabeth's shoulder. “It's your decision, love. I reckon you're the closest thing he has to a next of kin in this galaxy.”
Elizabeth looked like she might be thinking of denying the truth of his statement, but Carson just patted her back and continued. “Do I need to say I'm coming with you?”
Shaking her head, Elizabeth squeezed Carson's arm and nodded her permission.
Reluctantly, Carson directed his staff to pack his off world medical kit with anything he could think of that might be needed on the journey and began praying that they weren't going on a wild goose chase.
Elizabeth hurried off to find Major Lorne and make plans for a quick in and out visit to Talus.
Teyla stepped closer and catching John's eye, gave him a big smile of encouragement.
“Teyla,” John greeted her enthusiastically, “Kanaan said he would take me fishing. And he said we could bring Torren. He said it would be...” He paused for thought, careful to remember the exact words. “just us guys.”
Teyla's eyes filled with tears. “That is lovely John. I am sure you and the guys will have a very nice time.”
****
“Okay, boys and girls, we're there.” Major Evan Lorne was unaware of just how much he sounded like his commanding officer as he skillfully cloaked the jumper just as they exited the stargate. His companions began to gather their possessions, raise their weapons and prepare for landing.
The small craft settled with a gentle thump, and Ronon Dex peered through the glass. “We have to get in and get out fast before the Wraith know we're here.” The Satedan checked his gun to make sure it was set on kill and turned to speak quietly to Lorne. “If we're not back by nightfall, leave without us.”
“Now wait just a minute, that wasn't part of the plan.” Lorne swiveled his chair toward Ronon.
“You know as well as I do, Major, that if we're not back by then we're not coming back.”
Lorne frowned and looked over toward the Colonel who was letting Elizabeth zip up his jacket for him.
Reluctantly, the Major nodded and rose to help Doctor Beckett with his equipment.
The trek to the cave wasn't difficult, but everyone was tense with the need to both hurry and to proceed quietly. Elizabeth and Carson had to continually shush John who wanted to comment loudly on every creature and unusual plant he spied. Ronon led the way with Teyla bringing up the rear, alert for any disturbance and weapons ready. Even Rodney wasn't complaining too much for a change. Sticking to a meandering path through the woods, they made good progress.
“Are there scary monsters in these woods?” John moved closer to Elizabeth and looked around furtively. “Who fights the scary monsters, 'Lizbeth? Is it Ronon? I think it's Ronon and maybe Teyla helps a little because she has a big gun too.”
Elizabeth patted his arm and urged him to keep walking. “There are no monsters, John. We're going on a picnic, remember?”
“In a cave that will make me feel better.”
Rodney stumbled over a rock and exchanged a look with Carson.
“Come on then, lad.” Carson fell back to walk beside John. “Let's get going. We don't want to dawdle.”
John nodded seriously and looked around again. “Don't dawdle. Okay.” Pulling his hands out of his pockets, John began to take longer strides making a game of trying to step on Rodney's heels.
“Hey, stop that.” McKay glared at him over his shoulder. “Elizabeth, make him stop.”
“For God's sake, Rodney, take a moment to think about this situation.”
“Sorry,” Rodney mumbled under his breath and sped up.
“We're there.” Ronon stopped abruptly, and the others crowded around to look where he was pointing. They were at the edge of a large ravine, and on the opposite side, thundering into the river below, was a massive waterfall.
John stepped close to the edge and broke into a huge grin. “Wow, cool!” He grabbed Rodney's arm and pointed. “Look, Rodney, have you ever seen anything like that?”
“Whoa easy.” Rodney tugged on John's jacket to pull him back from the edge while Elizabeth stepped up on his other side and took his elbow.
“Careful, John,” Elizabeth warned, “you know your balance hasn't been the best lately.”
John looked offended. “I've only fallen off my skateboard twice,” he protested, “and that last time was Rodney's fault.”
“He ran right over my toes,” Rodney argued. “I...”
“Rodney!” Elizabeth was rapidly losing her patience.
“Come on, the path is this way,” Ronon beckoned everyone to follow him, and they began descending into the ravine. It wasn't as far as it looked, and the path was well worn and wider than the one through the woods. They moved quickly, fearful of being out in the open, and in a short while had reached the bottom, where they all stopped to contemplate the climb back up the other side.
“How the hell are we supposed to get up there?” Rodney grumbled, pointing to the top.
“There are steps, McKay.” Ronon pulled some brush aside and revealed crude rock steps seemingly carved into the side of the hill.
Everyone shifted their backpacks and bundles to a more comfortable position and prepared for the climb. John looked eager to get started and seemed to be treating the journey like an exciting adventure. Carson and Elizabeth exchanged a look, both thinking that he had most likely already forgotten why they were on this trip in the first place.
“It will be easy if everyone just keeps going without hesitation,” Teyla instructed as she checked her weapon and scanned behind them, “however, we must hurry.”
“Follow me,” Ronon instructed and began ascending the narrow, sometimes slippery, steps. They moved silently except for the occasional comment from John and grumbling from Rodney. John sometimes reached out a hand to help first Elizabeth and then Rodney over particularly difficult spots. His sense of balance seemed to be working fine today, and now that they were out of the woods, all his previous fear of monsters seemed to have disappeared, and he looked to be enjoying the outing.
“This reminds me of the time my folks took us on vacation to Chichen Itza. I got halfway up the steps and started to hyperventilate. My sister made it all the way to the top and held it against me for years. Ever since then I've gotten dizzy if I can't hold onto the handrail...” Rodney's voice trailed off as he stopped to take several deep breaths.
“Suck it up, McKay,” Ronon chastised the scientist.
“All right, but if I pass out from lack of oxygen someone has to carry me.”
“It's okay, Rodney,” John reassured him, “we'll help you. Look, we're almost there.” He pointed to a large opening in the side of the hill just above them, and everyone noticed that the sound of the waterfall had gotten louder.
The hillside opened up into a moderate sized cave behind the waterfall. There was a large column in the center of the cave which contained a lot of strange markings. Everyone put their bags down and took a moment to stretch. Rodney pulled out a portable scanner and started moving about the area.
“Huh,” he observed.
“What is it Rodney?” Carson walked up beside him and peered at the device.
“I'm not sure. I'm getting some kind of energy readings.” He moved closer to the column.
Elizabeth was distracted by her attempts to keep John from sticking his hands in the waterfall for a moment, but Rodney's second “Huh?” got her attention. She turned John over to Ronon and Teyla and walked over to where Rodney and Carson were still looking at the handheld device in Rodney's hands.
“Did I hear you say 'energy readings?'” But Rodney's reply was drowned out by an ear-piercing scream from John. He had thrown his arms over his head and was attempting to pull away from Ronon and Teyla and head back to the opening of the cave.
“Hurts!” John screamed and fell to his knees.
“What happened to him?” Elizabeth ran back to John's side and tried to pull his hands away from his ears. Before anyone could answer, John abruptly straightened and stood up. His strong hands gripped Elizabeth's arms tightly.
“What the hell is going on?” John shook his head and looked around at the others.
“John?” Elizabeth took a step back and he slowly released her.
“Does somebody want to tell me what we're doing here? And where is here anyway?” He reached for his sidearm and realizing it wasn't there, stood waiting impatiently, hands on hips.
“He's back,” Rodney declared.
“We're at the Shrine of Talus. We brought you here so you could get better for a day, and we could all say goodbye.” Leave it to Ronon to be succinct.
John looked from one of his friends to another seeing a variety of expressions from skeptical to hopeful to, in Elizabeth's case, extreme sadness. He shook his head in denial and opened and closed his mouth a few times.
“You mean I'm going to die? Today?” Everyone started to talk at once, but John shouted them down. “Then why, for Christ's sake, didn't you just shoot me?”
Shaking off helpful hands once again, John started for the cave opening, but after a few feet, he fell to his knees screaming in pain and holding his head.
As the others rushed to help, Carson made himself heard. “All right now, that's about enough of this. Let me see to my patient.”
“Wait wait wait.” Rodney had to tug on Carson's sleeve to get him to listen. “Look, Carson. Elizabeth look at this.” He was waving his scanning device. “The energy readings come from over here. When he was near this column he got better, and that's where the readings are coming from.”
“What are you on about, Rodney?” Carson stopped trying to pry John's hands away from his head so he could examine him and left him to curl in a fetal postion and moan while the women rubbed his back.
“Bring him back over here,” McKay said, gesturing to Ronon to hurry. The big man scooped John up like a small child and set him in the area Rodney indicated. The moaning stopped, and John began to rise to his feet cursing all the while.
“See, he's back again,” Rodney confirmed as he raised and lowered his scanner to get different readings. “Whatever magic exists here isn't just some made up superstitious mumbo jumbo. There is something here affecting whatever that is in his head.”
John stopped cursing and scrubbed at his eyes with the heels of his hands. “Then I'm staying right the hell here,” he declared.
Carson quickly pulled his portable medical scanner from his pack and ran it over John's head. He was amazed at the results and ran it again just to be sure. The black form that had previously been covering an increasingly large portion of John's brain had now retreated to one small area. Carson called Elizabeth and Rodney over, and they all gaped at the device.
Deceptively calm, John said in a slightly shaky voice, “Someone want to tell me what's going on?”
“The creature that was invading your brain appears to have gotten smaller since we arrived here,” Carson explained. “Something in this cave is affecting it.”
“How can that be?” Elizabeth wondered.
“It seems to be affected by whatever energy source is causing these readings.” Rodney was once again moving his scanner around the cave, finding different readings in different areas. “It's strongest over here by this column, which is where Carson's device shows the creature getting smaller.”
“So does that mean anything, or are you just babbling to hear yourself talk?” John was still cranky from the whole intense pain experience.
Rodney ignored him and turned to Dr. Beckett. “Carson, are you thinking what I'm thinking?”
“Maybe, Rodney. But we're in a cave, for God's sake.” Carson looked around at the others, who were staring in puzzlement.
“Would one of you care to enlighten us?” Elizabeth inquired.
“Surgery,” Rodney said as he held his scanner up next to John's head, who batted it away. “Brain surgery to be exact.”
“Oh hell no!” John was not amused.
“No no no. Listen a minute,” Rodney begged. “We can do this. Well, Carson can do this. While that thing is small he can open you up and pluck the little bugger right out.”
“Rodney!” Elizabeth scolded his insensitivity, and John bolted for the entrance but the increased pain drove him back.
“How can you do this?” Teyla inquired. “Is it not necessary to have a sterile environment?”
“That's precisely why I have serious reservations.” Carson looked back and forth from John to Elizabeth. They were doing that silent communication thing they do, and the doctor was beginning to think that they might be seriously considering going along with Rodney's wild scheme.
“We don't have much choice,” John finally said after they broke eye contact. “Okay, Carson. Get this thing out of me.”
“Are you insane? I would need surgical equipment. Anesthetic. A drill....”
“There's a drill in the jumper.” Ronon spoke for the first time in a while.
As if suddenly energized, Rodney snapped his fingers and pointed at Carson. “That might work. And we could use your little scanner there to pinpoint the location of that thing in his head, drill a tiny hole and...”
John seemed to have made a decision and turned toward Ronon and Teyla. “Go back to the jumper. Get the drill and whatever else Carson needs and bring it back here.”
“John, you don't have to do this,” Elizabeth said, her voice shaking.
“Yes I do.”
****
“Now you must hold him very still,” Carson instructed Ronon, who was kneeling beside John's prone body in preparation for assisting with the surgery. Carson, with Teyla's help, had prepped a small area on John's forehead where he had determined the creature was closest and was holding a scalpel in his gloved hand. The drill from the jumper lay sterilized and waiting.
“Surgery by Black and Decker, who woulda thunk it?” Rodney grinned at Elizabeth, who glared back at him.
John, in the meantime, had been rendered unconscious by a combination of whatever appropriate drugs Carson was able to select from his medical kit. The doctor had then preceded to use a black Sharpie to mark three small X's on the Colonel's forehead and explain to Ronon how he was going to resect a piece of the unconscious man's skull. Elizabeth was kneeling nearby so she could hand Carson the appropriate instruments, and Teyla was keeping watch at the cave entrance.
“Ready everyone. Here we go.” Carson lowered the scalpel as Ronon adjusted his grip on John's head.
“Wait!” Rodney's shout next to the doctor's ear almost made him slice into John's forehead, but he pulled his hand back just in time. “For God's sake, Rodney, what is it?”
McKay held out his scanner. “The creature. It's moving.”
Those observing could clearly see the black form on the screen. It seemed to have shrunk even more and was moving purposefully in one direction.
“What's it doing?” Elizabeth asked.
“It appears to be headed toward the nasal passages,” Carson said as he quickly put his scalpel aside and picked up a small pair of scissors.
They watched in equal parts horror and fascination as the creature moved across the screen Rodney was holding. And then their attention was riveted to the unconscious patient.
“Ewww!” Rodney exclaimed as the first black tentacles began to emerge from John's nose.
Elizabeth gasped and turned away as Carson reached out with his scissors and grasped the emerging organism.
“Teyla!” the doctor barked, “get ready to blast this little beastie to kingdom come.”
Having abandoned her lookout post, Teyla raised her P-90.
“Now, dear!” Carson flung scissors and all onto the floor of the cave, and the walls rang with two short bursts of Teyla's powerful weapon.
“Ow!” Rodney covered his ears. “You could have stomped on it.”
“Carson instructed me to blast it,” Teyla said as she kept her weapon trained on the now thoroughly dead blob at her feet.
Rodney and Ronon joined her in contemplating the remains while Carson and Elizabeth kept their attention on the still unconscious Sheppard.
“Now that's what I call one huge booger,” Rodney observed, earning himself another glare from Elizabeth and a wince of disgust from Teyla.
“What?” the scientist retorted, “you know you were thinking it.”
A prolonged groan from the patient told them he was beginning to wake up. Carson quickly removed all signs of the impending surgery and reached to help John sit up.
“How are you feeling, lad?” Carson asked as the others gathered near.
John blinked a few times and looked around the circle of faces. “I dunno, Doc. You tell me.” His voice came out raspy and weak.
Elizabeth handed him a water bottle and he drank greedily.
After a cursory exam, Carson allowed John to stand, which he did slowly. He was a bit unsteady on his feet, and after a quick look from Elizabeth, Ronon stepped up to lend him a shoulder to lean on.
“Thanks buddy,” John said, then straightened to his full height and took a deep breath. “There don't appear to be any new holes in my head, and everything seems to work,” he continued. “Head's a bit fuzzy and my nose feels stuffy.” He felt a warm trickle on his upper lip and brushed at it with his hand, which came away bloody.
“Just a wee little nosebleed,” Carson reassured him. “We may have to do a bit of cauterizing when we get back.”
John dabbed at his nose gently with some tissues Elizabeth had handed him. “Why do I not like the sound of that? Is anybody going to tell me what the hell just happened?”
The others looked at each other, but even Rodney was quiet.
“I think we'll leave all that for when we are safe and sound back home,” Elizabeth said. “Why don't we move in that direction?”
Taking her cue, Ronon led the others from the cave, and they began their slow progress back to where Lorne had dropped them. As if he had realized the gravity of the situation without a detailed explanation, John quickly resumed his role as leader, not seeing the relieved smiles shared by the others.
****
Elizabeth smiled at the familiar swoosh of the doors opening behind her but didn't turn from her position on the balcony. She had been out here for a while now, looking at the moon and occasionally offering up a thank you to whoever might be listening. Now that they were all back in Atlantis, the whole experience seemed like a particularly bad dream.
“Nice night,” John said, taking up his usual position at her side.
“Indeed it is.”
“So,” he began, drawing the word out, “I've been making the rounds today, apologizing to one and all for anything I might have done while I was...you know.”
Elizabeth turned towards him. “John, you didn't have anything to apologize for.”
“Maybe not, but it was something I had to do.”
They stood in silence for a moment.
“By the way,” he continued, “do you know why the Marines are all avoiding me? Lorne didn't seem to want to tell me.”
“Yes I do.”
“But you're not going to tell me either.”
“Not even if you hold hot coals to the bottoms of my feet.”
“That bad, huh?”
“Let's just say, you were not very...military and leave it at that.”
John winced and looked sideways at her.
“You know, I haven't forgotten everything that happened in the last few weeks.”
“Really? Anything in particular.”
“You're my girlfriend.” John grinned at her, and she refused to meet his eyes.
“I just said that to...”
“And you kissed me back.”
“I most certainly...”
“Did too, and you liked it.”
“John.” Elizabeth turned away thinking she could make her escape, but John caught her arm.
“I'm not a kid anymore, Elizabeth, and I know it's not quite that simple.”
She looked up into his face for a long moment, seeing the moon reflected in his eyes.
“Nothing around here is ever simple.”
“I'm hoping there is a but coming soon.”
Elizabeth nodded and continued, “But, if the last few weeks have taught me anything, it's that life is short. especially in the Pegasus Galaxy.”
“Well,” John nodded emphatically, “all right then. How about we start with dinner and go from there?”
Elizabeth tucked her hand inside his arm and smiled. “Dinner it is. Lead on, Colonel.”
Sheppard's Shrine
Day One
“Now just look into the camera, Colonel. This won't take but a moment or two.” Dr. Carson Beckett adjusted the focus on the video camera he was standing behind and smiled at his patient.
John Sheppard blinked at the doctor and sat looking not unlike a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car.
“Do I have to do this, Doc?”
“We need to set up a baseline. I explained all that.” Carson looked at John kindly and waited.
Resigned, John wiped his sweaty palms on his pants and sighed. “All right. What do I do?”
“Begin by telling us who you are and what you're doing here.”
Rapidly, John recited, “Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard United States Air Force assigned to the city of Atlantis in the Pegasus Galaxy. I am responsible for security, training of all military forces assigned to the base and lead my own team on missions to other planets.”
“Very good. That should do it.” Carson fiddled with the controls. “Now if you could answer some simple questions for me.”
“Questions? You didn't say there'd be a test. What kind of questions?” John frowned and fidgeted in his chair.
“Well,” Carson replied, “since you're so good with numbers, why don't we start with having you recite the value of Pi to the twentieth decimal place.”
John's mouth turned up on one side. “Is that all? I thought this would be hard.”
“Whenever you're ready.” Carson made a rolling motion with his fingers and pushed the record button.
“3.14159265358979323846...”
****
It had all started a few days before, when Sheppard's team had been stranded for some time on a flooded planet. They had first clung to the top of the stargate while John dived into the freezing water and dialed the DHD, which allowed them to radio back to Atlantis for help. Elizabeth Weir had scrambled a team and sent a jumper, but by the time they got back to the city, John was suffering from chills and a fever.
Dr. Beckett had rushed the entire team to the infirmary as soon as they returned, and everyone except John had checked out just fine.
“I think he just caught a wee bit of a chill,” Carson explained to Elizabeth, who had waited to hear the results of the exam.
“So it's just a cold, nothing that he may have picked up on the planet?”
“Probably. Teyla did say he was complaining of feeling too warm some time before the unfortunate incident.” The doctor seemed confident.
John appeared beside them dressed in dry clothes with the usual bounce in his step. “Not to worry,” he said with a long glance at Elizabeth in passing. “I'll be right as rain tomorrow and back to my old charming self.”
“Did he say 'right as rain'?” Elizabeth stared at John's departing back and Carson shrugged. “He never says lame things like that.”
Carson raised both eyebrows.
“Well hardly ever.”
****
John seemed back to normal in a day or two except for a few remaining sniffles. The trouble started on the third day when Ronon Dex appeared unexpectedly at Elizabeth's office door.
“Oh, hello Ronon. What can I do for you?” Elizabeth looked up from her laptop.
“Something is wrong with Sheppard.” The big man came further into the room.
“Aside from his slight cold you mean.”
Ronon nodded. “He's acting funny.”
Elizabeth turned her head on one side and thought for a moment. “Can you be a little more specific?”
“We were sparring earlier, and he told me he was glad I came to Atlantis and that he was happy to be my friend.” Ronon stopped for a breath. “And then he hugged me.”
Elizabeth closed the laptop and paid closer attention. “That doesn't really sound like John.”
Ronon gave her a look.
“Okay, I see what you mean. Where is he now?”
“He said he was going to...” Ronon paused again and looked up at the ceiling before continuing. “Ask the food staff if they would make a surprise for the new Marines.”
“Oh dear.”
****
Day Six
“Alrighty then, here we go.” Carson pushed 'record' and nodded at John, who was back in front of the camera.
“Same as before?” John asked.
“Yep, just start with who you are and so on.”
“I am Colonel...no Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard. I am in the Air Force and I fly planes.” John paused and looked a bit sheepish. “That would be hard to forget,” he said, shaking his head at his own awkwardness.
“That's fine then. Now where are you?” Carson smiled in encouragement.
“Atlantis. In the Polaris...no wait I know this...the Pegasus Galaxy.”
****
Carson moved closer to Elizabeth and pointed at the screen. “As you can see, we found something on his latest scan that is of concern.”
Elizabeth glanced over at John, who was chatting with the nurse while she swabbed the site of his latest blood test and back at the scan of John's brain. A black amoebic-like shape was clearly obvious.
“I would imagine that...thing...would cause concern. What exactly is it?”
“Well, it appears to be some sort of parasitic organism with tendrils that are beginning to spread throughout his brain. Quite rapidly actually.”
“I'm guessing he picked this up on that last mission?”
“Most likely. It has not responded to any sort of treatment that we've tried over the last couple of days but seems to be growing at an exponential rate. In fact the parasite seems to be rendering the cells dormant, not killing them, which will result in ever-diminishing brain function and eventually loss of motor control and finally organ function. I surmise his compromised immune system made him more susceptible than the others.”
Elizabeth's brain refused to accept what she was hearing. It was like Carson's voice was coming from a great distance. She clenched her fists so hard she left bloody little half moons on her palms. “Does he know?” she managed to whisper.
Carson turned and winced at the unusual sight of Lt. Col. John Sheppard smiling and telling Marie about the hamster he had as a pet when he was six years old.
“We've explained it as best we can, but the lad is starting to forget quite a few things.”
Elizabeth took a deep steadying breath. “What happens next?”
“Well there's more to the story, I'm afraid.” Carson took her by the elbow and led her a distance away. “This morning while we were doing this latest round of tests, Ronon and Teyla came to me with a very interesting tale.”
Elizabeth motioned for the doctor to continue.
“It seems this condition is fairly common in this galaxy. They call it 'Second Childhood'.”
****
Day Ten
“Okay now, son,” Carson held John by the shoulders to steady him and tried to make eye contact. “You need to focus for just a moment more.”
“Is it time for my math test?”
“Yes it is. Now, can you tell me the value of Pi?”
“Pi? Pi is uh...3 something I think. Then there are a lot more numbers.” John's face scrunched in concentration.
“What about the multiplication tables? Do you remember those?”
John brightened. “I think so. Two times one is two, two times two is four, two times three is six...”
John made it all the way up to two times ten before winding down and looking expectantly at Carson.
“Good job lad. I think that will be enough for today.”
****
Lt. Col. John Sheppard walked his usual route through the city, ending in the control room. He instinctually followed the same routine he almost always did this time of night but couldn't entirely remember why. It just seemed like the right thing to do.
“Hello Chuck, hello Amelia,” he said to the two crew members manning the controls in the command center.
“Good evening, Colonel.”
“Sir.” Amelia ducked her head, which hid her expression. John was unaware that she was disturbed by this kind of greeting coming from her commanding officer.
“Have you seen Elizabeth? She's not in her office and I wanted to talk to her.” John stopped and smiled broadly.
“Yes sir, she's out on the balcony.” Chuck pointed out the large windows on the other side of the tower.
“Thanks, Chuck. See you later.”
Chuck and Amelia exchanged a look as John turned and hurried away.
“Hi, Elizabeth.”
“John, I thought you were making a recording with Carson.” Elizabeth was surprised by his sudden appearance.
“We did that already. He said I passed the test.” John smiled and leaned next to her on the railing.
“That's good.” Elizabeth found it hard to deal with this version of John. His change in personality was a bit disconcerting, not that it was unpleasant. To the contrary, he was more gregarious and forthcoming, never failing to be cheerful and friendly even to the point of chatting about inconsequential personal things. But it was so unlike John Sheppard that she wasn't sure she liked it.
“It's nice here at night,” he observed, “hard to believe things are so wrong.”
Elizabeth wasn't sure at this point how much John was retaining. They were finding it necessary to explain his condition every day all over again, giving him less and less detail as his mind had less and less ability to absorb information. There were still moments when the old John seemed to shine through, but those were becoming less frequent.
“I'm really sorry, John.” Elizabeth turned to him and put a hand on his arm.
John leaned into her touch. “I know you are. I guess this means we can't play chess anymore.”
Her attempt to laugh ended abruptly as she found tears flooding her eyes and a lump choking her.
“So I was thinking...ha,” John laughed, as if suddenly getting his own feeble joke, “that maybe we should say goodbye now while we still can.”
“No.” Elizabeth jerked away from him and folded her arms. “You just forget it, John Sheppard. I won't say goodbye to you.”
“Well, I'm saying it to you.” John took her arm and tried to turn her back toward him, but she shrugged him off.
“Well, I'm not listening.”
“You have to listen, Elizabeth. It's your job.”
“No, I don't have to listen to this.”
“Come on, I want you to remember me as that guy I once was. You know, the one who bugged you and made you mad a lot. That guy. Not the...whatever I'm going to be.” John's hand was gentle on her shoulder, and she turned back toward him.
“I'll always remember that guy. Don't you know that?” She looked up at him with shimmering eyes and for a moment his gaze was perfectly clear and understanding shown out of his hazel eyes. Then his expression changed and became slightly less focused.
Elizabeth couldn't bear to hold his gaze for another second and found herself leaning against his chest with his arms closing around her. He patted her back gently, offering whatever comfort he knew how to give and held her a bit tighter.
“ 'Lizabeth?” he said after a moment.
“Yes, John.”
“Can I kiss you on the lips?”
Elizabeth's heart skipped a beat and then started again with a thump. She reached her hand up and gently rested it against John's cheek. He had skipped shaving and the stubble tickled her palm. Looking fully into his eyes, she didn't see any sign of the shy boy that had seemed to be inhabiting his six foot frame over the last few days.
John lowered his head and touched his lips to hers. She let her hand slide behind his neck and moved closer within the circle of his arms. For a moment they managed to forget the impending end of life as they had known it. And then it was over.
“Thank you, Elizabeth. That was very nice.” John stepped a bit away from her, blushing slightly and not seeming to know what to do next.
Elizabeth swallowed and replied a bit formally. “You're welcome, John. I thought it was nice too.”
****
Day Fifteen
“My name is John. I live in a big city with my friends.” John Sheppard twisted his body from side to side in his seat and tried to wrap his feet around the rungs of the chair.
“Very good. Now do you think you can answer a few questions for me?” Carson Beckett's breath caught in his throat, and he paused a moment to steady himself.
But the man in front of the camera was unaware of the tension in the room.
“Sure, Doctor. What kind of questions?” He stopped his movement and gave the doctor a suspicious look.
“Oh not to worry, son. Just some very easy math. Remember we did these before?”
“Math? I don't think I'm so good at math.” John began to look around the room.
“Oh sure you are. You're very good at math. Can you just tell me your multiplication tables starting with two?”
John's brow furrowed in confusion. “You mean like two three four?”
Carson swallowed the lump in his throat. “Yes, son, just like that.”
****
It was long past midnight and most of the city was sleeping when Rodney McKay found himself violently shaken awake.
Almost tumbling from the small sofa on which he had been trying to rest, Rodney shook the sleep from his muddled brain. “Take it easy. Take it easy. What's the matter now?”
John had released the scientist and was now passing his hand ineffectually over the controls that usually opened his door at a mere thought. The function of the ATA gene was one of the lost components of John's devolving brain, and he had not yet learned to compensate. The others had discovered that it was necessary to keep his door locked or he would slip away and wander the halls of the city looking for someone to talk to.
“Where's Elizabeth. She said she would be here. I want Elizabeth.” John resorted to banging on the door.
“Elizabeth is sleeping.” Rodney gently took the other man's arm and led him away from the door. “She has to sleep, John. She was exhausted.”
“But she said she would stay with me.” John looked around in confusion, and Rodney relaxed at the dawning understanding that was returning to his eyes.
“I'm here with you now, buddy.” Rodney assured him. “Hey, are you thirsty? Why don't we go drink some beer on the pier?”
“Beer? Do I like beer?”
Rodney snorted. “Yeah, you like beer. A lot.”
“I do? I'm not sure Elizabeth would like it if she knew.”
“Then we won't tell her.”
“But it's not nice to keep secrets.”
“Come on, here's your jacket. Put it on and let's go. I promise I won't tell Elizabeth.”
Sitting on the pier, feet swinging, the two friends drank quietly enjoying the moonlight and the warm breeze off the ocean.
Breaking the silence and causing Rodney to spit out a mouthful of beer, John suddenly offered. “Elizabeth is my girlfriend. I think she likes me. A lot.”
Rodney coughed, swallowed several times and then realized no reply was necessary.
A while later John seemed to have a new subject on his mind.
“Rodney, was I ever as smart as you?”
“Yes ,John, you were somewhat as smart as me.”
“Ronon Dex is my big friend. He has a really huge gun.” He held his hands a long ways apart. “And he said if I was good. I could hold it.”
Rodney batted away tears and took another swallow of beer, then popped open a fresh one and handed it to John, who took it without protest.
“Teyla said when I'm...better...she might let me play with Torren,” John said proudly, taking a huge gulp of beer and burping loudly. “She let me hold him yesterday. He's kinda slippery but it was nice.”
Rodney listened to his friend's ramblings as he related a bit about each of those who had been taking turns watching him. When he was himself, John Sheppard had been reticent at the best of times about any kind of emotional attachment. Yet, now, here he was pouring out his innermost feelings about each and every one of them.
Maybe there was a lesson to be learned for all of them in this hopeless situation.
The next morning the beer party didn't seem like quite such a good idea as Rodney held his head, which Elizabeth's voice was piercing like a knife.
“Rodney, you didn't give him beer? I question the wisdom of that decision.” Elizabeth was a bit irritated from too little sleep, and finding John and Rodney both snoring loudly and reeking of beer fumes hadn't helped.
Rodney looked around the infirmary where they had gone to wait for John to complete his exam. Elizabeth had knocked on John's door much too early and had declared that they must get cleaned up because John had an appointment with Doctor Beckett.
“But I don't want to go see Doctor Beckett. He sticks me with sharp needles. I don't like that 'Lizbeth.” John had protested to no avail. So now here they were in the infirmary again.
“You're not his mother, Elizabeth. In spite of appearances he's a grown man. Besides, we had a nice little ...shall we say revealing conversation.”
“Really? Revealing in what way?”
Rodney smirked at her. “You're his girlfriend.”
When Elizabeth didn't answer right away, Rodney peered at her a little more closely. “But we know that is just silly...right?”
Elizabeth developed a sudden interest in a nearby cabinet of medical equipment. “Well,” she finally said, “I can see where he might think ...oh look...just let it go okay, Rodney.”
“No, I don't think I will let it go.” Rodney grinned at her and snapped his fingers. “He's lost his inhibitions. I know he's always had a thing for you. Oh dear God, does this mean he has to go though puberty again? Because I don't think I can survive that.”
More finger snapping. “Something happened, didn't it? I mean before he got so far gone.” The smile faded.
“Rodney.” Elizabeth sighed and looked over toward John and Carson. John was trying to pull his arm away from Carson in a desperate attempt to prevent the doctor from taking another blood sample. He raised his head and, finding Elizabeth, reached out to her with his other hand.
“ 'Lizbeth, make him stop. I don't want any more sharp needles.”
Elizabeth walked over and took his outstretched hand. “It's okay John. Look, Teyla and Ronon are here. We have something we want to talk to you about.”
“You do?” John looked around at his friends expectantly.
Ronon stepped closer to the exam table and leaned over a bit. “Yeah, buddy, how'd you like to go on a little trip?”
****
Elizabeth still wasn't sure that Ronon and Teyla's plan was a good one, and Carson and Rodney had been vocally skeptical when they had explained it before presenting the idea to John.
“You want to what?” Elizabeth looked back and forth between the two Pegasus natives with a frown.
Not quite as tactful, Carson muttered something that sounded like “lunacy” and took a step closer.
Teyla put a gentle hand on Ronon's arm and took over the explanation.
“The Second Childhood is well known in this galaxy,” Teyla explained. “It can be quite sudden and devastating to families, but there is a shrine that will allow the sufferer to have a short time of clarity.”
“And then they die anyway?” Rodney was blunt, ignoring Elizabeth's sharp look.
Ronon and Teyla exchanged a glance and both nodded.
“We have seen the effects of the Shrine of Talus among both our peoples,” she insisted. “It gives them a chance to say goodbye to their loved ones with dignity.”
“And,” Ronon said, taking up the argument, “instead of a long drawn out end, it gives them a quick death. Sheppard would want that.”
“Just where is this so-called shrine?” Carson asked
“It's on a planet called Talus in a cave that's behind a waterfall. It's one of the original worlds of the Ancestors. When I was six we took my grandfather there. He had to be carried most of the way from the gate. We can do it in about half the time it took back then.”
“Talus,” Rodney interjected, “that planet has a Wraith outpost. Good plan if we all want to die a particularly painful death.”
“Well, that's not the only problem,” Elizabeth said.
“You don't believe me,” Ronon interrupted.
Elizabeth raised her hand. “Now I didn't say...”
“Well I did,” Rodney interrupted, “a magic shrine inside a cave behind a waterfall? Please, what do you think this is, Princess Bride?”
“Rodney.” Elizabeth stopped him. But her eyes refused to meet either Ronon's or Teyla's.
“I was there.” Ronon insisted, his voice rising.
“But just listen to yourself lad,” Carson said. “You were six years old. Don't you think a wee boy would be fascinated by the story of a magical shrine?”
“Did I say it was magic?” Ronon was getting louder and once again, Teyla moved to calm him.
“All I know is,” Ronon went on in a quieter voice, “in a matter of seconds I saw my grandfather go from someone who couldn't speak his own name to the man that taught me how to track and hunt.”
“You learned to hunt when you were six years old?” Rodney earned a glare from everyone present for his remark and a growl from Ronon.
“ For one day, he got to hold his wife in his arms and share a meal with the people that he loved. And then he died with honor. You can say I was too young to remember, but I know what I saw. And we can do the same thing for Sheppard.” Ronon turned away after that long speech, and Teyla searched Elizabeth's eyes.
“I think it would be worth the risk,” Teyla said, “and I think John would agree.”
“Now hold on just a bloody minute,” Carson spoke up. “Nobody is taking my patient anywhere without my permission, and you won't get that until you talk to the Colonel himself.”
****
It was left to Ronon to explain their plan to John, and with Teyla's help, he presented the idea as simply as possible. For a moment John got his old determined look on his face and nodded fiercely.
“Sounds like a plan,” he said, sounding so much like the old John that everyone laughed without thinking. But then a second later he tugged on Rodney's sleeve.
Rodney took a step closer to the gurney on which John was sitting, and John said in a loud whisper, “Then I won't have to go see Doctor Beckett anymore?”
Rodney swallowed and patted his back in reassurance.“Then you won't have to go see Doctor Beckett anymore.”
“No more sharp needles?”
“No...no more sharp needles.”
****
“You know, he must have really been a sweet lad.”
Ronon turned at Carson's observation and looked in the direction of the exam table. John was smiling up at Rodney, who was holding his hand while Marie buttoned up his shirt.
The big man nodded and his own mouth turned up in a slight smile. “Yeah. Yesterday he said he liked my hair and asked if I thought his would do that.”
Carson laughed aloud. “Bless him. I guess the sense of humor is still intact.”
“How old do you think he is right now, Doc?”
“Oh around five, I'd say. Sometimes older. It won't be long now.”
Ronon nodded, not needing to repeat his belief that the trip to the Shrine must take place sooner rather than later.
Carson turned to Elizabeth, who had been silent for far too long. He could tell by the look in her eyes that she had made her decision.
“Elizabeth, you can't seriously be considering this daft plan.”
“He's going to die, Carson.” Her voice broke on the last word, and she turned away, arms folded.
Defeated, the doctor put his hand on Elizabeth's shoulder. “It's your decision, love. I reckon you're the closest thing he has to a next of kin in this galaxy.”
Elizabeth looked like she might be thinking of denying the truth of his statement, but Carson just patted her back and continued. “Do I need to say I'm coming with you?”
Shaking her head, Elizabeth squeezed Carson's arm and nodded her permission.
Reluctantly, Carson directed his staff to pack his off world medical kit with anything he could think of that might be needed on the journey and began praying that they weren't going on a wild goose chase.
Elizabeth hurried off to find Major Lorne and make plans for a quick in and out visit to Talus.
Teyla stepped closer and catching John's eye, gave him a big smile of encouragement.
“Teyla,” John greeted her enthusiastically, “Kanaan said he would take me fishing. And he said we could bring Torren. He said it would be...” He paused for thought, careful to remember the exact words. “just us guys.”
Teyla's eyes filled with tears. “That is lovely John. I am sure you and the guys will have a very nice time.”
****
“Okay, boys and girls, we're there.” Major Evan Lorne was unaware of just how much he sounded like his commanding officer as he skillfully cloaked the jumper just as they exited the stargate. His companions began to gather their possessions, raise their weapons and prepare for landing.
The small craft settled with a gentle thump, and Ronon Dex peered through the glass. “We have to get in and get out fast before the Wraith know we're here.” The Satedan checked his gun to make sure it was set on kill and turned to speak quietly to Lorne. “If we're not back by nightfall, leave without us.”
“Now wait just a minute, that wasn't part of the plan.” Lorne swiveled his chair toward Ronon.
“You know as well as I do, Major, that if we're not back by then we're not coming back.”
Lorne frowned and looked over toward the Colonel who was letting Elizabeth zip up his jacket for him.
Reluctantly, the Major nodded and rose to help Doctor Beckett with his equipment.
The trek to the cave wasn't difficult, but everyone was tense with the need to both hurry and to proceed quietly. Elizabeth and Carson had to continually shush John who wanted to comment loudly on every creature and unusual plant he spied. Ronon led the way with Teyla bringing up the rear, alert for any disturbance and weapons ready. Even Rodney wasn't complaining too much for a change. Sticking to a meandering path through the woods, they made good progress.
“Are there scary monsters in these woods?” John moved closer to Elizabeth and looked around furtively. “Who fights the scary monsters, 'Lizbeth? Is it Ronon? I think it's Ronon and maybe Teyla helps a little because she has a big gun too.”
Elizabeth patted his arm and urged him to keep walking. “There are no monsters, John. We're going on a picnic, remember?”
“In a cave that will make me feel better.”
Rodney stumbled over a rock and exchanged a look with Carson.
“Come on then, lad.” Carson fell back to walk beside John. “Let's get going. We don't want to dawdle.”
John nodded seriously and looked around again. “Don't dawdle. Okay.” Pulling his hands out of his pockets, John began to take longer strides making a game of trying to step on Rodney's heels.
“Hey, stop that.” McKay glared at him over his shoulder. “Elizabeth, make him stop.”
“For God's sake, Rodney, take a moment to think about this situation.”
“Sorry,” Rodney mumbled under his breath and sped up.
“We're there.” Ronon stopped abruptly, and the others crowded around to look where he was pointing. They were at the edge of a large ravine, and on the opposite side, thundering into the river below, was a massive waterfall.
John stepped close to the edge and broke into a huge grin. “Wow, cool!” He grabbed Rodney's arm and pointed. “Look, Rodney, have you ever seen anything like that?”
“Whoa easy.” Rodney tugged on John's jacket to pull him back from the edge while Elizabeth stepped up on his other side and took his elbow.
“Careful, John,” Elizabeth warned, “you know your balance hasn't been the best lately.”
John looked offended. “I've only fallen off my skateboard twice,” he protested, “and that last time was Rodney's fault.”
“He ran right over my toes,” Rodney argued. “I...”
“Rodney!” Elizabeth was rapidly losing her patience.
“Come on, the path is this way,” Ronon beckoned everyone to follow him, and they began descending into the ravine. It wasn't as far as it looked, and the path was well worn and wider than the one through the woods. They moved quickly, fearful of being out in the open, and in a short while had reached the bottom, where they all stopped to contemplate the climb back up the other side.
“How the hell are we supposed to get up there?” Rodney grumbled, pointing to the top.
“There are steps, McKay.” Ronon pulled some brush aside and revealed crude rock steps seemingly carved into the side of the hill.
Everyone shifted their backpacks and bundles to a more comfortable position and prepared for the climb. John looked eager to get started and seemed to be treating the journey like an exciting adventure. Carson and Elizabeth exchanged a look, both thinking that he had most likely already forgotten why they were on this trip in the first place.
“It will be easy if everyone just keeps going without hesitation,” Teyla instructed as she checked her weapon and scanned behind them, “however, we must hurry.”
“Follow me,” Ronon instructed and began ascending the narrow, sometimes slippery, steps. They moved silently except for the occasional comment from John and grumbling from Rodney. John sometimes reached out a hand to help first Elizabeth and then Rodney over particularly difficult spots. His sense of balance seemed to be working fine today, and now that they were out of the woods, all his previous fear of monsters seemed to have disappeared, and he looked to be enjoying the outing.
“This reminds me of the time my folks took us on vacation to Chichen Itza. I got halfway up the steps and started to hyperventilate. My sister made it all the way to the top and held it against me for years. Ever since then I've gotten dizzy if I can't hold onto the handrail...” Rodney's voice trailed off as he stopped to take several deep breaths.
“Suck it up, McKay,” Ronon chastised the scientist.
“All right, but if I pass out from lack of oxygen someone has to carry me.”
“It's okay, Rodney,” John reassured him, “we'll help you. Look, we're almost there.” He pointed to a large opening in the side of the hill just above them, and everyone noticed that the sound of the waterfall had gotten louder.
The hillside opened up into a moderate sized cave behind the waterfall. There was a large column in the center of the cave which contained a lot of strange markings. Everyone put their bags down and took a moment to stretch. Rodney pulled out a portable scanner and started moving about the area.
“Huh,” he observed.
“What is it Rodney?” Carson walked up beside him and peered at the device.
“I'm not sure. I'm getting some kind of energy readings.” He moved closer to the column.
Elizabeth was distracted by her attempts to keep John from sticking his hands in the waterfall for a moment, but Rodney's second “Huh?” got her attention. She turned John over to Ronon and Teyla and walked over to where Rodney and Carson were still looking at the handheld device in Rodney's hands.
“Did I hear you say 'energy readings?'” But Rodney's reply was drowned out by an ear-piercing scream from John. He had thrown his arms over his head and was attempting to pull away from Ronon and Teyla and head back to the opening of the cave.
“Hurts!” John screamed and fell to his knees.
“What happened to him?” Elizabeth ran back to John's side and tried to pull his hands away from his ears. Before anyone could answer, John abruptly straightened and stood up. His strong hands gripped Elizabeth's arms tightly.
“What the hell is going on?” John shook his head and looked around at the others.
“John?” Elizabeth took a step back and he slowly released her.
“Does somebody want to tell me what we're doing here? And where is here anyway?” He reached for his sidearm and realizing it wasn't there, stood waiting impatiently, hands on hips.
“He's back,” Rodney declared.
“We're at the Shrine of Talus. We brought you here so you could get better for a day, and we could all say goodbye.” Leave it to Ronon to be succinct.
John looked from one of his friends to another seeing a variety of expressions from skeptical to hopeful to, in Elizabeth's case, extreme sadness. He shook his head in denial and opened and closed his mouth a few times.
“You mean I'm going to die? Today?” Everyone started to talk at once, but John shouted them down. “Then why, for Christ's sake, didn't you just shoot me?”
Shaking off helpful hands once again, John started for the cave opening, but after a few feet, he fell to his knees screaming in pain and holding his head.
As the others rushed to help, Carson made himself heard. “All right now, that's about enough of this. Let me see to my patient.”
“Wait wait wait.” Rodney had to tug on Carson's sleeve to get him to listen. “Look, Carson. Elizabeth look at this.” He was waving his scanning device. “The energy readings come from over here. When he was near this column he got better, and that's where the readings are coming from.”
“What are you on about, Rodney?” Carson stopped trying to pry John's hands away from his head so he could examine him and left him to curl in a fetal postion and moan while the women rubbed his back.
“Bring him back over here,” McKay said, gesturing to Ronon to hurry. The big man scooped John up like a small child and set him in the area Rodney indicated. The moaning stopped, and John began to rise to his feet cursing all the while.
“See, he's back again,” Rodney confirmed as he raised and lowered his scanner to get different readings. “Whatever magic exists here isn't just some made up superstitious mumbo jumbo. There is something here affecting whatever that is in his head.”
John stopped cursing and scrubbed at his eyes with the heels of his hands. “Then I'm staying right the hell here,” he declared.
Carson quickly pulled his portable medical scanner from his pack and ran it over John's head. He was amazed at the results and ran it again just to be sure. The black form that had previously been covering an increasingly large portion of John's brain had now retreated to one small area. Carson called Elizabeth and Rodney over, and they all gaped at the device.
Deceptively calm, John said in a slightly shaky voice, “Someone want to tell me what's going on?”
“The creature that was invading your brain appears to have gotten smaller since we arrived here,” Carson explained. “Something in this cave is affecting it.”
“How can that be?” Elizabeth wondered.
“It seems to be affected by whatever energy source is causing these readings.” Rodney was once again moving his scanner around the cave, finding different readings in different areas. “It's strongest over here by this column, which is where Carson's device shows the creature getting smaller.”
“So does that mean anything, or are you just babbling to hear yourself talk?” John was still cranky from the whole intense pain experience.
Rodney ignored him and turned to Dr. Beckett. “Carson, are you thinking what I'm thinking?”
“Maybe, Rodney. But we're in a cave, for God's sake.” Carson looked around at the others, who were staring in puzzlement.
“Would one of you care to enlighten us?” Elizabeth inquired.
“Surgery,” Rodney said as he held his scanner up next to John's head, who batted it away. “Brain surgery to be exact.”
“Oh hell no!” John was not amused.
“No no no. Listen a minute,” Rodney begged. “We can do this. Well, Carson can do this. While that thing is small he can open you up and pluck the little bugger right out.”
“Rodney!” Elizabeth scolded his insensitivity, and John bolted for the entrance but the increased pain drove him back.
“How can you do this?” Teyla inquired. “Is it not necessary to have a sterile environment?”
“That's precisely why I have serious reservations.” Carson looked back and forth from John to Elizabeth. They were doing that silent communication thing they do, and the doctor was beginning to think that they might be seriously considering going along with Rodney's wild scheme.
“We don't have much choice,” John finally said after they broke eye contact. “Okay, Carson. Get this thing out of me.”
“Are you insane? I would need surgical equipment. Anesthetic. A drill....”
“There's a drill in the jumper.” Ronon spoke for the first time in a while.
As if suddenly energized, Rodney snapped his fingers and pointed at Carson. “That might work. And we could use your little scanner there to pinpoint the location of that thing in his head, drill a tiny hole and...”
John seemed to have made a decision and turned toward Ronon and Teyla. “Go back to the jumper. Get the drill and whatever else Carson needs and bring it back here.”
“John, you don't have to do this,” Elizabeth said, her voice shaking.
“Yes I do.”
****
“Now you must hold him very still,” Carson instructed Ronon, who was kneeling beside John's prone body in preparation for assisting with the surgery. Carson, with Teyla's help, had prepped a small area on John's forehead where he had determined the creature was closest and was holding a scalpel in his gloved hand. The drill from the jumper lay sterilized and waiting.
“Surgery by Black and Decker, who woulda thunk it?” Rodney grinned at Elizabeth, who glared back at him.
John, in the meantime, had been rendered unconscious by a combination of whatever appropriate drugs Carson was able to select from his medical kit. The doctor had then preceded to use a black Sharpie to mark three small X's on the Colonel's forehead and explain to Ronon how he was going to resect a piece of the unconscious man's skull. Elizabeth was kneeling nearby so she could hand Carson the appropriate instruments, and Teyla was keeping watch at the cave entrance.
“Ready everyone. Here we go.” Carson lowered the scalpel as Ronon adjusted his grip on John's head.
“Wait!” Rodney's shout next to the doctor's ear almost made him slice into John's forehead, but he pulled his hand back just in time. “For God's sake, Rodney, what is it?”
McKay held out his scanner. “The creature. It's moving.”
Those observing could clearly see the black form on the screen. It seemed to have shrunk even more and was moving purposefully in one direction.
“What's it doing?” Elizabeth asked.
“It appears to be headed toward the nasal passages,” Carson said as he quickly put his scalpel aside and picked up a small pair of scissors.
They watched in equal parts horror and fascination as the creature moved across the screen Rodney was holding. And then their attention was riveted to the unconscious patient.
“Ewww!” Rodney exclaimed as the first black tentacles began to emerge from John's nose.
Elizabeth gasped and turned away as Carson reached out with his scissors and grasped the emerging organism.
“Teyla!” the doctor barked, “get ready to blast this little beastie to kingdom come.”
Having abandoned her lookout post, Teyla raised her P-90.
“Now, dear!” Carson flung scissors and all onto the floor of the cave, and the walls rang with two short bursts of Teyla's powerful weapon.
“Ow!” Rodney covered his ears. “You could have stomped on it.”
“Carson instructed me to blast it,” Teyla said as she kept her weapon trained on the now thoroughly dead blob at her feet.
Rodney and Ronon joined her in contemplating the remains while Carson and Elizabeth kept their attention on the still unconscious Sheppard.
“Now that's what I call one huge booger,” Rodney observed, earning himself another glare from Elizabeth and a wince of disgust from Teyla.
“What?” the scientist retorted, “you know you were thinking it.”
A prolonged groan from the patient told them he was beginning to wake up. Carson quickly removed all signs of the impending surgery and reached to help John sit up.
“How are you feeling, lad?” Carson asked as the others gathered near.
John blinked a few times and looked around the circle of faces. “I dunno, Doc. You tell me.” His voice came out raspy and weak.
Elizabeth handed him a water bottle and he drank greedily.
After a cursory exam, Carson allowed John to stand, which he did slowly. He was a bit unsteady on his feet, and after a quick look from Elizabeth, Ronon stepped up to lend him a shoulder to lean on.
“Thanks buddy,” John said, then straightened to his full height and took a deep breath. “There don't appear to be any new holes in my head, and everything seems to work,” he continued. “Head's a bit fuzzy and my nose feels stuffy.” He felt a warm trickle on his upper lip and brushed at it with his hand, which came away bloody.
“Just a wee little nosebleed,” Carson reassured him. “We may have to do a bit of cauterizing when we get back.”
John dabbed at his nose gently with some tissues Elizabeth had handed him. “Why do I not like the sound of that? Is anybody going to tell me what the hell just happened?”
The others looked at each other, but even Rodney was quiet.
“I think we'll leave all that for when we are safe and sound back home,” Elizabeth said. “Why don't we move in that direction?”
Taking her cue, Ronon led the others from the cave, and they began their slow progress back to where Lorne had dropped them. As if he had realized the gravity of the situation without a detailed explanation, John quickly resumed his role as leader, not seeing the relieved smiles shared by the others.
****
Elizabeth smiled at the familiar swoosh of the doors opening behind her but didn't turn from her position on the balcony. She had been out here for a while now, looking at the moon and occasionally offering up a thank you to whoever might be listening. Now that they were all back in Atlantis, the whole experience seemed like a particularly bad dream.
“Nice night,” John said, taking up his usual position at her side.
“Indeed it is.”
“So,” he began, drawing the word out, “I've been making the rounds today, apologizing to one and all for anything I might have done while I was...you know.”
Elizabeth turned towards him. “John, you didn't have anything to apologize for.”
“Maybe not, but it was something I had to do.”
They stood in silence for a moment.
“By the way,” he continued, “do you know why the Marines are all avoiding me? Lorne didn't seem to want to tell me.”
“Yes I do.”
“But you're not going to tell me either.”
“Not even if you hold hot coals to the bottoms of my feet.”
“That bad, huh?”
“Let's just say, you were not very...military and leave it at that.”
John winced and looked sideways at her.
“You know, I haven't forgotten everything that happened in the last few weeks.”
“Really? Anything in particular.”
“You're my girlfriend.” John grinned at her, and she refused to meet his eyes.
“I just said that to...”
“And you kissed me back.”
“I most certainly...”
“Did too, and you liked it.”
“John.” Elizabeth turned away thinking she could make her escape, but John caught her arm.
“I'm not a kid anymore, Elizabeth, and I know it's not quite that simple.”
She looked up into his face for a long moment, seeing the moon reflected in his eyes.
“Nothing around here is ever simple.”
“I'm hoping there is a but coming soon.”
Elizabeth nodded and continued, “But, if the last few weeks have taught me anything, it's that life is short. especially in the Pegasus Galaxy.”
“Well,” John nodded emphatically, “all right then. How about we start with dinner and go from there?”
Elizabeth tucked her hand inside his arm and smiled. “Dinner it is. Lead on, Colonel.”