(no subject)
I don't really feel myself right now. I do know why, but then again, I don't.
The past few weeks I've been really tired...and it seems I lack the ability to learn from what I'm gathering are my mistakes, because I keep neglecting my need to sleep. I find that in my waking hours my judgment is becoming quite skewed, my perception not like it used to be, my mind not as sharp, and my guard is way down. In turn, I feel sick from this lack of sleep, so I don't eat. For one, my mind tells me I don't really need to, for I feel a sickly "full" feeling already in the pit of my stomach. As a result of both these factors, I find myself unable to pay attention in class, and I rather focus in on inane mathematical calculations I can do to manipulate time within my own head. I would say I day dream, but these images and scraps of my imagination seem only to be harming me more than help. When I get home, I find I am quite irritable, for in my mind, all distractions by my family are merely hindering a task at hand that does not even exist, nor is it even that important. Later at night I find myself in a state of emotional confusion, and even after I say that I'm off to bed, I cannot help but lie awake thinking. Paranoia runs rampant within my mind.
Whatever this parasite is that has decided to use my already weakened body as a host, I wish it would go away. I don't think I can take it much longer.
This is how I feel.
(You need not worry though...I don't do these things, I only draw them.)
The past few weeks I've been really tired...and it seems I lack the ability to learn from what I'm gathering are my mistakes, because I keep neglecting my need to sleep. I find that in my waking hours my judgment is becoming quite skewed, my perception not like it used to be, my mind not as sharp, and my guard is way down. In turn, I feel sick from this lack of sleep, so I don't eat. For one, my mind tells me I don't really need to, for I feel a sickly "full" feeling already in the pit of my stomach. As a result of both these factors, I find myself unable to pay attention in class, and I rather focus in on inane mathematical calculations I can do to manipulate time within my own head. I would say I day dream, but these images and scraps of my imagination seem only to be harming me more than help. When I get home, I find I am quite irritable, for in my mind, all distractions by my family are merely hindering a task at hand that does not even exist, nor is it even that important. Later at night I find myself in a state of emotional confusion, and even after I say that I'm off to bed, I cannot help but lie awake thinking. Paranoia runs rampant within my mind.
Whatever this parasite is that has decided to use my already weakened body as a host, I wish it would go away. I don't think I can take it much longer.
This is how I feel.
(You need not worry though...I don't do these things, I only draw them.)