Happily Ever After
This is my entry for October, week one. The topic is: Begin the writing with "There it goes."
*Based on a true story, although the names have been changed to protect the innocent.
There it goes. Her glassy blue eyes watched as the plane flew over the road she was driving on. With a restrained sniffle, she returned her gaze to the street, trying ( Read more... )
*Based on a true story, although the names have been changed to protect the innocent.
There it goes. Her glassy blue eyes watched as the plane flew over the road she was driving on. With a restrained sniffle, she returned her gaze to the street, trying ( Read more... )
A couple of suggestions for you: I was a bit confused on time in this piece. When Cynthia picks him up from the airport, this is when they first meet in person? Maybe throw in one more sentence here that makes the reader certain that this is the case. One other thing that threw me off was that Dustin is dressed for a Michigan winter, but it is October. Maybe suggest he was dressed for a cold Michigan autumn instead?
The story is so beautiful that I think summarizing it in the final paragraph doesn't do the rest of it justice. Could you instead write a scene where it is obvious that the two of them are living together now and use the narrative voice to express the same ideas you have expressed here? For instance, "Cynthia looked across their kitchen table at him so grateful that neither of them had given up on love...." or something to that effect.
I really, really enjoyed the airport scene and how we learned more about Cynthia through what she observed there and what she thought about what she had observed. It is the little things that make this such a strong piece. Your descriptions are so vivid. Congratulations on a piece well done!
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