::Thinkin::
You know what I wonder about the way things work . For example the quote " Everything happens for a reason " . . . What's that supposed to mean ? And when the really bad things happen to you what's the reason for that. I mean people say " It's Karma . . . " ,but what if honest to god you can't think of what you've done wrong whether or not it be to yourself, your best friend or your boyfriend then what ? So you sit there by yourself thinkin ova and ova again why this is happening to you and when you think that everything is at its worst you only fall farther down the rabbit hole. Doesn't make sense does it ? I wish I knew the answers to questions maybe not everything because then i'd be a real wise ass about things ,but still some ?'s i just really need the answer to before I actually know. And I always worry about life and my path that I follow . Like I've said previously in this journal I have so much ambition towards life ,but I don't know where I wanna stuff it at this point in tyme in my life. Maybe a lawyer because I like to argue or Maybe a doctor cause they make lots of money or maybea pharmacy tech just because it's an easy job ,but I think outta everything i wanna be a pediatrician because I love kids. I seem so young now and I am ,but there's soo much more I want in life and I don't know if I'll get it all . . . nothin outta the ordinary . . . . just a nice house, a big back yard, a couple of kids, the family dog, and a wonderful husband who will still love me when I'm old and wrinkled and gray. Someone to grow old with . Is that too much to ask for ?? Where is mister right or have I found him already and I don't know it. What if your mister right sat across from a table at a diner and you didn't know it or he'd been your best friend you entire life and was soo consumed with the happiness of your friendship that you never dared to look at him in another way. Everything that we do affects another chapter in our life in one way that's completely awesome ,but in another way it kinds haunts you when you think about it because if you would have done some things differently then your life wouldn't be the same . Is that a good thing or a bad thing what do you think ? And I'm leavin on this note . . . .