Broken....
Well, this weekend went okay, I guess. Finally managed to get all of the bills paid except the electric bill and I got an extension until Wednesday when I get paid again. God, I hate being BROKE! I don't really even know how we managed this past month, but one way or the other (with a help from family of coarse), we did somehow survive.
I am sitting on the couch just this morning, thinking wow we made it with just enough to buy some food this week leftover. When Cory is going to the gas station, and walks back only to tell me my car won't start. Blah,blah,blah. I took a nap while he messed with it, nothing I could do anyway. The alternater went out and a new one ain't going to be too bad. Still had to borrow the money though, and I am so grateful for my grandma, she is loaning me her car until mine gets fixed tomorrow.
So, it always seems to be something! Just when you think, hey, you know, it is going to be okay, then there goes something else!
In other news... uh, the weekend was pretty much as usual, not really anything going on. Worked Friday till like 9 pm so my time wouldn't be short. Then I was going to go into today and work like the other 2 hours, but then I didn't have a way to go... so.... Looks like I am working over Monday and Tuesday, must have 40 hours this week and work 9 on Wednesday or else I won't get paid for the holiday. Kids stayed with Ma. Josh was suppose to watch them one night, but he changed his mind, as usual. I tell you, regardless of what has happened between me and him, the fights, etc. I still didn't really think of him as a bad person. Just a bad husband. I still had faith in his complete and total love for the kids. BUT over time, I am figuring out that I was wrong. He just wants rid of me and them, not just me. It upsets me, because I didn't think of him as a bad person, and I really am starting to. How can he go so long without seeing them? I just don't understand. I wasn't ready to have kids when I did, but they grow up so fast, and you only have one shot at raising them... I don't know.
I went out to Jeff and Wendy's as usual Friday night, came home early around 2:30 though to spend time with my baby. (Damn, it feels so good to be trusted...) Neways, me and him stayed up all night just hanging out, watching tv, playing on the computer. I was soooo shocked. While I was gone he actually straightened up part of the bedroom! He is really good to me, but he doesn't do housework, says he gets sidetracked, and that I put to much emphasis on cleaning... and I probably do... But I gave him a great big hug and smooch for it. It looks so much better. He set up his little DG techno CD thingy. Like the record thing that DJ's use only with CDs. It is neat. And he made his keyboard and guitar, music stuff accessable. I wish that he would just jump in there and help out more often like that. Even if it all don't get done, it feels good to know that you don't have to do it all, that I don't have to do it all by myself anymore.
Played a new game... well, new to me anyway, for a few minutes, and then realized that I sucked really bad. I suck at video games, maybe that is why I never really took an interest in them, Halo is simple. From concept to controller settings. Anything more difficult than that, and well, I get confused if there is too much going on in the game. I think the name of it was either TimeSplitters or TimeSplitters 2. Think it was the second one. The game is okay, there is alot going on though, and I got confused, played a couple rounds, first round, I just died alot, then second round I did much better 36 kills (50 to win). But there was so much fire and explosives going off and so many bots to kill, it was difficult to even see them. And when you kill someone they should be dead, and I am not talking about respawing, I am talking about the Rocket Launcher that you use on the game. You blow people up but then if they are too close then they will run afer you while they are on fire and catch you on fire too, then there is nothing that you can do except die. I burnt to death alot.
Went over to Ma's house, Randy came and got us, so that we could get Ma's car to use while mine is being fixed tomorrow. Got into it with Kim, but don't really want to get into that. It just gets me upset. Came home watched Spaceballs. Going to bed. Write more later.
I am sitting on the couch just this morning, thinking wow we made it with just enough to buy some food this week leftover. When Cory is going to the gas station, and walks back only to tell me my car won't start. Blah,blah,blah. I took a nap while he messed with it, nothing I could do anyway. The alternater went out and a new one ain't going to be too bad. Still had to borrow the money though, and I am so grateful for my grandma, she is loaning me her car until mine gets fixed tomorrow.
So, it always seems to be something! Just when you think, hey, you know, it is going to be okay, then there goes something else!
In other news... uh, the weekend was pretty much as usual, not really anything going on. Worked Friday till like 9 pm so my time wouldn't be short. Then I was going to go into today and work like the other 2 hours, but then I didn't have a way to go... so.... Looks like I am working over Monday and Tuesday, must have 40 hours this week and work 9 on Wednesday or else I won't get paid for the holiday. Kids stayed with Ma. Josh was suppose to watch them one night, but he changed his mind, as usual. I tell you, regardless of what has happened between me and him, the fights, etc. I still didn't really think of him as a bad person. Just a bad husband. I still had faith in his complete and total love for the kids. BUT over time, I am figuring out that I was wrong. He just wants rid of me and them, not just me. It upsets me, because I didn't think of him as a bad person, and I really am starting to. How can he go so long without seeing them? I just don't understand. I wasn't ready to have kids when I did, but they grow up so fast, and you only have one shot at raising them... I don't know.
I went out to Jeff and Wendy's as usual Friday night, came home early around 2:30 though to spend time with my baby. (Damn, it feels so good to be trusted...) Neways, me and him stayed up all night just hanging out, watching tv, playing on the computer. I was soooo shocked. While I was gone he actually straightened up part of the bedroom! He is really good to me, but he doesn't do housework, says he gets sidetracked, and that I put to much emphasis on cleaning... and I probably do... But I gave him a great big hug and smooch for it. It looks so much better. He set up his little DG techno CD thingy. Like the record thing that DJ's use only with CDs. It is neat. And he made his keyboard and guitar, music stuff accessable. I wish that he would just jump in there and help out more often like that. Even if it all don't get done, it feels good to know that you don't have to do it all, that I don't have to do it all by myself anymore.
Played a new game... well, new to me anyway, for a few minutes, and then realized that I sucked really bad. I suck at video games, maybe that is why I never really took an interest in them, Halo is simple. From concept to controller settings. Anything more difficult than that, and well, I get confused if there is too much going on in the game. I think the name of it was either TimeSplitters or TimeSplitters 2. Think it was the second one. The game is okay, there is alot going on though, and I got confused, played a couple rounds, first round, I just died alot, then second round I did much better 36 kills (50 to win). But there was so much fire and explosives going off and so many bots to kill, it was difficult to even see them. And when you kill someone they should be dead, and I am not talking about respawing, I am talking about the Rocket Launcher that you use on the game. You blow people up but then if they are too close then they will run afer you while they are on fire and catch you on fire too, then there is nothing that you can do except die. I burnt to death alot.
Went over to Ma's house, Randy came and got us, so that we could get Ma's car to use while mine is being fixed tomorrow. Got into it with Kim, but don't really want to get into that. It just gets me upset. Came home watched Spaceballs. Going to bed. Write more later.