sobby, melodramatic update

[souslocean8]

So the garage sale was today.  It was uncomfortable and anxious.  People were vultures... I felt like snatching things out of their hands... but I didn't.  They were rummaging through Nana and Poppa's things, picking out stuff they thought was nice.  None of them knew the memories or the meaning behind anything.  I understand what it must feel like to be robbed. I felt helpless and so very sad that we couldn't hold on to the house, or their stuff inside of it.  The house is empty now, cleaned out, desolate... the walls are blank, the cabinets are empty, the rooms are bare.  It has a musty, old person smell now - her smell is lost forever.  The last physical connection to my grandparents is gone, and I'm left with a few random possessions and a world of lost memories.   I miss her so much, it kills.  The pain is overwhelming me now, hours later.

I went to dinner tonight with Kris, Joel and Em... Ghandi's... mmm.  Then we went bowling.  It was fun, but I'm tired and miserable inside.  I hid it well.  I want crawling into bed until Disney World.  But I told Kris I'd come back over.  Hopefully they'll make me feel better, even if only for a moment.