I trade my old shoes for new feet
2 finals down, 1 more to go. Lubes gave me an A- and an A on my final papers... I can't express how relieved I am... the stress is beginning to lift... although I have my staff meeting tonight and I always end up more stressed out afterwards, just because inevitably adds to my never-ending to-do list.
We had staff bonding in Burlington on Sunday which was a blast... I felt like we were actually bonding for the first time this semester... It felt good. I'm really happy here at Plattsburgh... even with the stress. I'm happier here now than I will be at home over break... mostly because Christmas will be lonely and my job is throwing me for a loop. My "new" boss gave me to Colonie Center... literally, gave me to a manager that I've never met. I'd rather work in xgates, but I've been too stressed out to even think about it or take any action. I need a new job, but there's no time for me to get one... so I have to wait untill the summer and just suck it up being miserable.
I randomly called Ronnie last night. I don't know why I did, b/c we haven't spoken for weeks. I called him because I wanted to talk to him about how I don't want to loose his friendship... I called him for closure, since clearly, because neither of us were calling each another, we're moving on from... whatever it is that we were. And, of course, he did what he does best... he pretended that nothing had happened. I asked if he'd like to take me out for a drink sometime next week, after my birthday, and he said "of course, don't be silly, I want to see you over winter break" in a that-was-a-stupid-thing-to-say kind of way. So I don't think he's on the same page as me... *sigh* And I find myself torn, once again. I've lost the feelings that I've had for him, at least I'm pretty sure that I have... and I need to have a conversation about it with him, but I'm not sure if I can without hurting relations between us. I don't need that... if I end up regretting the time we spent together, it'll kill me, mostly because it was while Nana was sick and shortly after she died. I strained relations with my family for him, and I risked Nana's disappointment. If we fall out badly, I'll be crushed. On top of that, I'd still genuinely like to have him as a friend... I don't want to hate him, but I have a feeling he'd make it really easy for me to.
In other news, I love Chris Heagle... I'm taking this opportunity to confess my undying love for him. He's the sexiest boy I've ever seen. I want to jump his bones. (I hope you're satisfied now :P)
I've been spending some time with someone new these past couple days. Why is it that I always meet someone right at the end of the semester, and end up growing close to that person quickly... only to have the semester end? Haha, yet another consequence of college limbo. Well anyway, we're both in similar mindsets, in terms of loneliness but unwillingness to jump into a relationship... so it's nice to have someone who understands completely for company at night. And I've been happy this past week, despite all of the stress, so it must being doing me some good. We'll see where this takes me...
Today I feel relieved and content. 4 more days until break... 6 more days until the big 2-1 :D