The Chronicles of Smiddick
The Man Who Knew How to Use a Sewing Machine
by Drew Smith
There once was a boy who was too big for small sized shirts yet too small for medium sized shirts. He would go to the hippest store in town and purchase the hippest shirt in town only to find out when he got home that the hippest shirt in town was not pre-shrunk. The boy would play the washing-drier machine game...cold water, delicate low, cotton-high, nuclear crumbum poop but everytime his shirts came out of the drier, his useless male nipples would protrude like sno-cones. Then, one day, he learned from his girlfriend the art of the sew and that's the end. Peace.
by Drew Smith
There once was a boy who was too big for small sized shirts yet too small for medium sized shirts. He would go to the hippest store in town and purchase the hippest shirt in town only to find out when he got home that the hippest shirt in town was not pre-shrunk. The boy would play the washing-drier machine game...cold water, delicate low, cotton-high, nuclear crumbum poop but everytime his shirts came out of the drier, his useless male nipples would protrude like sno-cones. Then, one day, he learned from his girlfriend the art of the sew and that's the end. Peace.