One thinking led to another which then led to another.
Last night i was watching a tv show called Miami Ink. It got me thinking of a tattoo i would get. When my dad dies (even if i'm 30) i would get a tattoo in his honor. I would get on the back of my neck or wrist a bird my mom's cousin drew for his bussiness. But then i got to thinking: How would i know if my dad dies? We honestly do not where he lives. He tells us he lives in Mass. But my mom thinks he lives in Penn. So we dont know. And I only see my dad once maybe twice a month for maybe about 3 hours. I remember this one time we hadnt hear from him for awhile and my mom called the cops seeing if any accidents were reported. It was scary. Would his boss even know about us? Would they be able to contact us? Then i got to thinking of how i have so many questions i need him to answer. I want to know if he really did cheat on my mom and with how many woman. I want to know why he would cheat on my mom after 25 yrs. Why did he leave every weekend and periodically in the summer for his own vacation. Why did he do this to us? Why did he get a P.O. Box in the mall post office? What did he have to hide? I want to tell him that whenever he did something it affected me the worse. I had to go therapy because of him. I have to babysit now all the time. He doesnt even know what i had to do because he wasnt there. I took over his job for my brother and sister. Now that i thought about this, i was thinking do i still really want a tattoo in his honor? I still do. How ironic?