(no subject)
has anyone ever had a bad day?
now that's not a question that isn't obvious.
today has been, well, one of those kind of days...
i won't go into great detail to explain to you what happened, just know, it's a stressful situation due to my bad decision making, and i totally deserve whats coming for me.
this whole semester has been, it seems, one big, bad day. but who wants to hear me complaining?
no really, who does?
and i shouldnt be, i have the greatest friends in the world, a wonderful family, and certain people that still care about me (even though they dont want me to know)
however, life always seems to throw something in my way to make me feel that im this worthless peice of nothing. it seems, no matter how many things you have going on in your life that are so great, the ones that aren't so great seem to get you down.
i feel that every day
its like this ginormous (definately not a word) bump that i cant seem to just jump over without wanting to take everything thats behind me, with me.
its this constant nervous feeling of, whats going to happen next?
too many things keep happening that make me question my future, and myself. questions like, should i continue music? should i continue school? should i date again? should i even be looking? or should i just be waiting?
i dont know myself anymore....this isnt me
i guess, i just want to know....
what am i going to be?
who am i going to marry?
when am i going to find him?
God, just show me...please!
am i even worth dating?
am i worth being a teacher?
am i really who i think i am?
i try to convince myself that i'm alright, and i put on that face everyday...
and even as time passes, and i really start to realize that i am alright,
things come up...
memories come up....
and they just remind you of everything....
even still, more problems come up daily...just to push you over the edge and make you remember everything bad thats happened...make you think that you are the only one going through these things...
and its true, you are the only one...because everyone feels different about every situation, even if the situation is the same....
ive learned this
i guess it just takes time, and confidence....something that i lack in
bad days suck, expecially when they are one day after the next....
but look on the bright side....
yea, i dont see one either
now that's not a question that isn't obvious.
today has been, well, one of those kind of days...
i won't go into great detail to explain to you what happened, just know, it's a stressful situation due to my bad decision making, and i totally deserve whats coming for me.
this whole semester has been, it seems, one big, bad day. but who wants to hear me complaining?
no really, who does?
and i shouldnt be, i have the greatest friends in the world, a wonderful family, and certain people that still care about me (even though they dont want me to know)
however, life always seems to throw something in my way to make me feel that im this worthless peice of nothing. it seems, no matter how many things you have going on in your life that are so great, the ones that aren't so great seem to get you down.
i feel that every day
its like this ginormous (definately not a word) bump that i cant seem to just jump over without wanting to take everything thats behind me, with me.
its this constant nervous feeling of, whats going to happen next?
too many things keep happening that make me question my future, and myself. questions like, should i continue music? should i continue school? should i date again? should i even be looking? or should i just be waiting?
i dont know myself anymore....this isnt me
i guess, i just want to know....
what am i going to be?
who am i going to marry?
when am i going to find him?
God, just show me...please!
am i even worth dating?
am i worth being a teacher?
am i really who i think i am?
i try to convince myself that i'm alright, and i put on that face everyday...
and even as time passes, and i really start to realize that i am alright,
things come up...
memories come up....
and they just remind you of everything....
even still, more problems come up daily...just to push you over the edge and make you remember everything bad thats happened...make you think that you are the only one going through these things...
and its true, you are the only one...because everyone feels different about every situation, even if the situation is the same....
ive learned this
i guess it just takes time, and confidence....something that i lack in
bad days suck, expecially when they are one day after the next....
but look on the bright side....
yea, i dont see one either