(no subject)
Wow. I haven't writtin in... oh yeah.. forever! It's been kinda crazy lately, just everything happening so fast and whatever.
I've been okay mostly, some days I'm really happy and then other days I'm just in a bad mood. For some reason I always feel this underlying feeling of sadness but then when I actually sit and think about it, I don't understand what I'm sad about. Sometimes it's thinking about stuff that's already over with and that I can't control or change. And then all I have to do is tell myself "you can't change it.. so stop thinking about it" and most of the time that makes me feel better.
Well I've been going to volleyball practices 4 hours a week. I really love playing volleyball, but my coach just makes everything so unenjoyable. She just sits on the stage, like she's bored out of her fricking mind. She rarely will play with us, and we just do drills. She doesn't ever give us tips, or pointers, or anything. She just doesn't coach! The other 15's team, which has 3 of my close friends from school on it, has the best coaches in the world. They're brother and sister, Erin, who's like.. 19 I think? and Kyle who's 20. They're so enthusiastic and just.. awesome! They're funny and energetic and fun people rather than my coach who acts like seh has to babysit us instead of coach us.
Lately, it seems like the only people that I feel like I can really talk to are Kathleen and Melissa. I used to be able to talk to Cody, or I thought that I could talk to Cody. But if I could before, I can't now. The only time that he ever talks to me is if he needs girlfriend advice or help with his problems. One night when I was really upset and I wanted to talk to him, I was like, "Can I call you?" and he said, "Uhhh I'm allergic to the phone." But then, when he broke up with his girlfriend, it was okay to talk on the phone then! So I guess I understand that he might not know that he's doing this right? So I brought it up to him, I specifically told him how I was feeling. And all he did was apologize. The entire rest of the conversation we still just talked about HIM. I point blank asked him "How was your day?" and he said, "great." He didn't even ask me how my day was in return. It's just like he doesn't even care about my life enough to ask me how my day was?! I'm just so done with everything with him. He just doesn't care about me. If he does, he sure doesn't show it.
Oh, and another thing. He never knows that I'm mad at him, or that I'm acting sad. I met this kid named Carter, and I met him ONCE. I talked to him frequently online though. So one day, when I was feeling down or angry or something, I don't really remember, he was like, "Are you okay?" And this was ONLINE. I'd met him once, and he could tell when I was feeling down. But
Cody, on the other hand, is always completley oblivious to my moods. Well, he's either oblivious or he doesn't care. I know that I've ranted about him alot, but I am just so frustrated! I know that he doesn't do it on purpose, but it just feels like even when I bring it to his attention, it still makes no difference whatsoever.
Oh! I got a 97% on my Biology test which means that I only missed one! I was so happy because this was a really hard test. Melissa got a 57% and Shauna go ta 69%! So that was goooooooodd!
Today was Melissa's birthday, and so I got her the new Kenny Chesney CD, and I also made her cupcakes. And I made her this card, story board thing where I took a bunch of hot celebrity pictures and I shrunk down their bodies so that they looked like bobble-head dolls. So then I made them have little diologues and it was so cute! But, god I thought I was going to cry because I spent 2 1/2 hours on it, and then I went to softball practice, and then came home to work on it. So I'm working or whatever and all of a sudden it says "Paint Shop Pro has encountered and error and will be shut down." And I did not have it saved! So I had to start alllll over. It was awful.
Ohh I really wanted to talk to Kathleen today, and I hope that she's okay. She just seems so sad lately, and I know that I have talked to her about it before, but I just worry about her sometimes.
Okay that's all my fingers are tired.
Kim
Lent has already started, and I dont' have anything to give up. Any ideas?
I've been okay mostly, some days I'm really happy and then other days I'm just in a bad mood. For some reason I always feel this underlying feeling of sadness but then when I actually sit and think about it, I don't understand what I'm sad about. Sometimes it's thinking about stuff that's already over with and that I can't control or change. And then all I have to do is tell myself "you can't change it.. so stop thinking about it" and most of the time that makes me feel better.
Well I've been going to volleyball practices 4 hours a week. I really love playing volleyball, but my coach just makes everything so unenjoyable. She just sits on the stage, like she's bored out of her fricking mind. She rarely will play with us, and we just do drills. She doesn't ever give us tips, or pointers, or anything. She just doesn't coach! The other 15's team, which has 3 of my close friends from school on it, has the best coaches in the world. They're brother and sister, Erin, who's like.. 19 I think? and Kyle who's 20. They're so enthusiastic and just.. awesome! They're funny and energetic and fun people rather than my coach who acts like seh has to babysit us instead of coach us.
Lately, it seems like the only people that I feel like I can really talk to are Kathleen and Melissa. I used to be able to talk to Cody, or I thought that I could talk to Cody. But if I could before, I can't now. The only time that he ever talks to me is if he needs girlfriend advice or help with his problems. One night when I was really upset and I wanted to talk to him, I was like, "Can I call you?" and he said, "Uhhh I'm allergic to the phone." But then, when he broke up with his girlfriend, it was okay to talk on the phone then! So I guess I understand that he might not know that he's doing this right? So I brought it up to him, I specifically told him how I was feeling. And all he did was apologize. The entire rest of the conversation we still just talked about HIM. I point blank asked him "How was your day?" and he said, "great." He didn't even ask me how my day was in return. It's just like he doesn't even care about my life enough to ask me how my day was?! I'm just so done with everything with him. He just doesn't care about me. If he does, he sure doesn't show it.
Oh, and another thing. He never knows that I'm mad at him, or that I'm acting sad. I met this kid named Carter, and I met him ONCE. I talked to him frequently online though. So one day, when I was feeling down or angry or something, I don't really remember, he was like, "Are you okay?" And this was ONLINE. I'd met him once, and he could tell when I was feeling down. But
Cody, on the other hand, is always completley oblivious to my moods. Well, he's either oblivious or he doesn't care. I know that I've ranted about him alot, but I am just so frustrated! I know that he doesn't do it on purpose, but it just feels like even when I bring it to his attention, it still makes no difference whatsoever.
Oh! I got a 97% on my Biology test which means that I only missed one! I was so happy because this was a really hard test. Melissa got a 57% and Shauna go ta 69%! So that was goooooooodd!
Today was Melissa's birthday, and so I got her the new Kenny Chesney CD, and I also made her cupcakes. And I made her this card, story board thing where I took a bunch of hot celebrity pictures and I shrunk down their bodies so that they looked like bobble-head dolls. So then I made them have little diologues and it was so cute! But, god I thought I was going to cry because I spent 2 1/2 hours on it, and then I went to softball practice, and then came home to work on it. So I'm working or whatever and all of a sudden it says "Paint Shop Pro has encountered and error and will be shut down." And I did not have it saved! So I had to start alllll over. It was awful.
Ohh I really wanted to talk to Kathleen today, and I hope that she's okay. She just seems so sad lately, and I know that I have talked to her about it before, but I just worry about her sometimes.
Okay that's all my fingers are tired.
Kim
Lent has already started, and I dont' have anything to give up. Any ideas?