*Grumble rant.*
..Ok... So maybe it's just me.. but I think over cleaning' putting things up and doin' junk like that..is dumb for other people. I mean..why should I falsify my life and surroundings just so a family..who I hardly talk to or see.. can be imprested by somethin’ they’d want to see..and not who I am.
My aunt tells me as I’ma bout to come downstairs, “Tomorrow we are going to clean… from top to bottom.” Why?... If you want to clean the fuck out of the upstairs.. and put up pictures and temp curtains and junk you wouldn’t put up for yourself.. Why bother doin’ it to impress someone else? I sure as hell am not. I will do my usual cleanin’..but nothin’ super fancy. I for one already have junk on my walls..no need for me to put more up. Nor will I take down my awesome shoelace collection and art upon my walls.. I won’t take down drawings or posters.. I wont hide my small collection of shoes into a closet.. I wont pick up all my sketches and doodles tossed in a not so neat pile upon the ground my computer. Hell maybe while I’m at it.. I should just leave my bin full of masses of Mt. Dew cans and liquid bottles there.
I sure as heck don’t care what anyone thinks of me.. Especially my “family”. If they can’t accept me.. For me.. Fuck them. Over half them.. none of which are really my family.. More like my step-mothers kids and junk.. That of which who don’t like me anyways.. The one Step-brother and his wife, .who when I always see either (1) Don’t even talk to me …Just like last thanks giving.. (2) Always has some smart ass comment about something about me. Like many years before. I had gotten my bondage [the cow ass/leather arm band years ago.. I put safety pins in it.. cuz it looked neat.. ] And he looks at it then like the ass he is “What’s with the pins? Are you a baby or something?” Umm no.. For one if I was using baby pins.. they’d have cute little duckys or something on them… I was using ‘safety’ pins. A few years later.. his comment on my pants about the straps.. and other comments that could have gone without being’ said. Hell atleast last year I dressed nice.. I wore a nice dress shirt, a full breasted pinstire vest and a nice pair of pants.. x-mas I wore my nice $50 lime green dress shirt.. my $40 tie… and nice pants once again.. I got a rude comment about me dressin’ like a guy.. Big fuckin’ deal.. I’ve dressed in male cloths my whole life.. You know what.. blame my father and you mother (my step-mother) for that..they are the whores who instead of buying me cloths.. gave me my brothers old cloths.. No one cared before.. but since highschool and middle school.. wooo.. I get bitched at a lot. Fuck that.. It’s almost enough to make me want to wear more guy cloths to piss them off.. Though, I plan on atleast one day wearin’ my newer nice red chick dress shirt and lookin’ nice.. not for them..but for myself.. because I rawk my own looks.. If I don’t care what other people think of me.. what the people I work with think of me.. why should I give a fuck with my ‘family’ thinks of me. My mother doesn’t care..my aunt and uncle don’t care… so why should these judging whores..
Hell.. maybe I’ll even come out of the closet officially to them.. not like they don’t already know and talk about me behind my back and gossip. Why don’t they man up and outright just ask me. Stupid whores..
Whoo.. I feel a bit better now. Yay for ranting public like.
My aunt tells me as I’ma bout to come downstairs, “Tomorrow we are going to clean… from top to bottom.” Why?... If you want to clean the fuck out of the upstairs.. and put up pictures and temp curtains and junk you wouldn’t put up for yourself.. Why bother doin’ it to impress someone else? I sure as hell am not. I will do my usual cleanin’..but nothin’ super fancy. I for one already have junk on my walls..no need for me to put more up. Nor will I take down my awesome shoelace collection and art upon my walls.. I won’t take down drawings or posters.. I wont hide my small collection of shoes into a closet.. I wont pick up all my sketches and doodles tossed in a not so neat pile upon the ground my computer. Hell maybe while I’m at it.. I should just leave my bin full of masses of Mt. Dew cans and liquid bottles there.
I sure as heck don’t care what anyone thinks of me.. Especially my “family”. If they can’t accept me.. For me.. Fuck them. Over half them.. none of which are really my family.. More like my step-mothers kids and junk.. That of which who don’t like me anyways.. The one Step-brother and his wife, .who when I always see either (1) Don’t even talk to me …Just like last thanks giving.. (2) Always has some smart ass comment about something about me. Like many years before. I had gotten my bondage [the cow ass/leather arm band years ago.. I put safety pins in it.. cuz it looked neat.. ] And he looks at it then like the ass he is “What’s with the pins? Are you a baby or something?” Umm no.. For one if I was using baby pins.. they’d have cute little duckys or something on them… I was using ‘safety’ pins. A few years later.. his comment on my pants about the straps.. and other comments that could have gone without being’ said. Hell atleast last year I dressed nice.. I wore a nice dress shirt, a full breasted pinstire vest and a nice pair of pants.. x-mas I wore my nice $50 lime green dress shirt.. my $40 tie… and nice pants once again.. I got a rude comment about me dressin’ like a guy.. Big fuckin’ deal.. I’ve dressed in male cloths my whole life.. You know what.. blame my father and you mother (my step-mother) for that..they are the whores who instead of buying me cloths.. gave me my brothers old cloths.. No one cared before.. but since highschool and middle school.. wooo.. I get bitched at a lot. Fuck that.. It’s almost enough to make me want to wear more guy cloths to piss them off.. Though, I plan on atleast one day wearin’ my newer nice red chick dress shirt and lookin’ nice.. not for them..but for myself.. because I rawk my own looks.. If I don’t care what other people think of me.. what the people I work with think of me.. why should I give a fuck with my ‘family’ thinks of me. My mother doesn’t care..my aunt and uncle don’t care… so why should these judging whores..
Hell.. maybe I’ll even come out of the closet officially to them.. not like they don’t already know and talk about me behind my back and gossip. Why don’t they man up and outright just ask me. Stupid whores..
Whoo.. I feel a bit better now. Yay for ranting public like.