Black Lagoon fic

[sour_idealist]

They are the antithesis of fairy tales, the two of them. Even if you swap the princess for a man and dress him in blue and white. Even if you double and curve the knight’s sword,  even if you empty the hip-flask of enchanted water and fill it with straight Bacardi.

They’re not in love and never will be. Love goes with flowers and cheap-ass jewelry

Comments

[vgdivision]

A very nice treatment of one of my favorite pairings! I thought there were one or two points where the text became slightly overelaborate (especially in the third paragraph), but it's hardly egregious. A little bit of purple prose now and then never hurt anyone.

[sour_idealist]

Yeah, I knew that would be an easy trap to fall into; it's meant to be a bit flowery, but not really ridiculous. Are there any particular lines you noticed?
I'm really glad you liked it overall, though. I love this pairing mostly because it's so complicated, and I really wanted to capture that aspect of it.

[vgdivision]

The 'bullet to bullet and bloodbath to bloodbath' line was probably the worst offender. I still like the line, I just think it could be trimmed down to something more manageable.