we could be perfect, if i wasn't worthless
word.
you know i have one of these every now
and then so don't act suprised. and listen.
i've been taking stock of my life, everybody
does it, it's the end of the year, start of
a new one, everything thinks a little deeper
around this time and they wonder if this year
will be better than the last(counting crows
reference, rockkk) and you always hope it is
of course. and who knows, it just might be.
in my situation, that's all i've really got
left to hope for. see if you've been paying
attention like your supposed to, 06 has been
a trainwreck for me, especially this 2nd half.
i don't know what's going on, i mean, my luck
has been HORRID. i'd lose bill gates' entire
forture with this luck at vegas. but i guess
i can't blame it all on luck, right? you've
gotta take responsibility for your own actions
and i do, a lot of this has been attributed to
my bad decisions, a long line of them actually.
but do i regret? no. i'm a risk taker, i put
all my chips on a bet and i go with it. that's
me. oh well. and in my personal opinion love
is the biggest risk anybody can take, and believe
me i've thrown myself into the lion's den probably
too many times. but i digress. it's just been
so amazing how bad my luck has been, especially
with jobs, i've lost 2 jobs in the past month,
and i really still to this day don't know why.
like i always say, life is a series of ups and
downs, but was i so much on an up that i had to
take this plummet to obscurity? no. i wasn't.
but that's all hearsay, here's the point of this
lashing of the keys that your all subjected to
(if you even made it this far), i need to change.
and i'm going to. i started by elminating the
dating around thing, i just hate that now, that's
not me. it's an egotrip is what it is. like i
stated earlier, i'm a lover, and that's what i
want, no matter how many times it burns me, i'm
jumping right back into that fire at the hope
that i can find that love that everybody is looking
for, a love that consumes you, moves you, and
sometimes, ruins you(i like to rhyme). hm. anyway,
i do have a crush on this girl, but she wants somebody
mature and i don't blame her, that's what i want,
that's why i like her, i'm so sick of immaturity.
BUT, it works both ways, if i want somebody mature,
i need to be mature, and i'm not as mature as i think
i am. i have spouts where i am. but there are far
more ways i can improve this, and in oh oh slevin,
i'll be doing that, that's a promise. either way,
even if was way mature, no girl wants a guy with no
job, no money, no prospects. so as much as i'd like
to persue this girl, i'm not really eligible at the
moment. so this brings me back to jobs, and such. i
need to start working on myself, getting everything
back on track, and it's so hard to even envision that
when i'm so deep in the hole, but i've gotta do it.
i'm requested information from the high tech institute,
and if i can hopefully get in, i'm going to do the
pharmacy tech program, and i'll be done in like 14
months, and then i can start making money and working
towards other goals, i mean, i really would like to
be a musician or teacher/football coach, and it's
so hard to make it in the music biz i might just
start working on a degree in a few years. hopefully
i've got a long time left to do things. can't rush
too much. but i dunno, 07 should be better, i'm hoping
so cuz it can't get much worse. thanks for your time.
fuck oh oh sex.
///end
<3
e
d
c
you know i have one of these every now
and then so don't act suprised. and listen.
i've been taking stock of my life, everybody
does it, it's the end of the year, start of
a new one, everything thinks a little deeper
around this time and they wonder if this year
will be better than the last(counting crows
reference, rockkk) and you always hope it is
of course. and who knows, it just might be.
in my situation, that's all i've really got
left to hope for. see if you've been paying
attention like your supposed to, 06 has been
a trainwreck for me, especially this 2nd half.
i don't know what's going on, i mean, my luck
has been HORRID. i'd lose bill gates' entire
forture with this luck at vegas. but i guess
i can't blame it all on luck, right? you've
gotta take responsibility for your own actions
and i do, a lot of this has been attributed to
my bad decisions, a long line of them actually.
but do i regret? no. i'm a risk taker, i put
all my chips on a bet and i go with it. that's
me. oh well. and in my personal opinion love
is the biggest risk anybody can take, and believe
me i've thrown myself into the lion's den probably
too many times. but i digress. it's just been
so amazing how bad my luck has been, especially
with jobs, i've lost 2 jobs in the past month,
and i really still to this day don't know why.
like i always say, life is a series of ups and
downs, but was i so much on an up that i had to
take this plummet to obscurity? no. i wasn't.
but that's all hearsay, here's the point of this
lashing of the keys that your all subjected to
(if you even made it this far), i need to change.
and i'm going to. i started by elminating the
dating around thing, i just hate that now, that's
not me. it's an egotrip is what it is. like i
stated earlier, i'm a lover, and that's what i
want, no matter how many times it burns me, i'm
jumping right back into that fire at the hope
that i can find that love that everybody is looking
for, a love that consumes you, moves you, and
sometimes, ruins you(i like to rhyme). hm. anyway,
i do have a crush on this girl, but she wants somebody
mature and i don't blame her, that's what i want,
that's why i like her, i'm so sick of immaturity.
BUT, it works both ways, if i want somebody mature,
i need to be mature, and i'm not as mature as i think
i am. i have spouts where i am. but there are far
more ways i can improve this, and in oh oh slevin,
i'll be doing that, that's a promise. either way,
even if was way mature, no girl wants a guy with no
job, no money, no prospects. so as much as i'd like
to persue this girl, i'm not really eligible at the
moment. so this brings me back to jobs, and such. i
need to start working on myself, getting everything
back on track, and it's so hard to even envision that
when i'm so deep in the hole, but i've gotta do it.
i'm requested information from the high tech institute,
and if i can hopefully get in, i'm going to do the
pharmacy tech program, and i'll be done in like 14
months, and then i can start making money and working
towards other goals, i mean, i really would like to
be a musician or teacher/football coach, and it's
so hard to make it in the music biz i might just
start working on a degree in a few years. hopefully
i've got a long time left to do things. can't rush
too much. but i dunno, 07 should be better, i'm hoping
so cuz it can't get much worse. thanks for your time.
fuck oh oh sex.
///end
<3
e
d
c