ball
today i'm a ball of nerves. and i really have to pee right now so its making me more nervous. brb.
ok back. ah, relief.
so i came to school a few mins late thinking all was well, but i had an assembly. so i showed up and it was ok, but i didn't have a seat near sonia and olivia.. in fact i was in a row practically alone. so that got sucky and i sat with jo. and jo gave me an adorable letter and jo i love you. and she made really cool picture/name things. grr sometimes my health class pisses me off. some people in particular. anyway. so math was so scary! stan never assigns work and all of a sudden it's like PACKETS! QUIZZES! TEST! FINAL! in one class. in sci. we got our first review sheet -- yay. and he gives the answers! i love you dambo! i decided to make a documentary of a day in his life and he agreed. he's a nice hugger. you'd think he'd be all bony and pointy but he's not. or maybe it was my super human pillowness/weslyan sweatshirt that padded me.either way.
gah ray knows nick likes her now. i hope nick doesnt read this. cause this is how ray found out in the first place. but i doubt nick reads my LJ so thats that. oy oy nick and his ricecakes. how shady/pathetic.
ok, so history was so annoying. we go over notes and take notes and more notes and ahh its awful. we got to work in groups for like two seconds and got nothing done anyway. and then he didnt give us the anwers. not cool.
art I FINISHED MY MASK! BOOYEAH!!! everyone will see my glory soon. debbie and eva -- it's changed i tell ya, it's changed.
english i was all excited to do a runthrough of the play cause i brought in my bucked that serves as a very good drum. but while waiting outside english, mrs.kish comes up alongside me and says "you're becca, right?" and then asks me about being borderline honors and stuff, and how i'm dealing with my behavior in class. so i told her i've been trying to separate myself from others and actually pay attention. so she was like,"ok! good luck getting in! i hope you do!" and then walked away. then abby and i are talking and she says "so, the borderline honors test is after school today" and then i kina freaked out cause mrs.karman never told me about it so i thought she might not want me in honors. that made me really sad. so i sat all alone in hopes of sucking up/getting her sympathy/because i didn't want to deal with our class' shit. so i did. then we had to get in groups and work on Rebecca instead of the runthrough. i went up to her and asked why mrs.kish asked me about the honors and she didnt know.. she said there was no secret or anything -- she really didnt know. how random. so i asked her later on about honors and whats going on with that. she said she didn't want to talk about it at the moment. so of course, i thought she was saying "i dont want you in honors and i want to let you down easy and not infront of all these people." so i became evern more anti social. at the end of class i went to ask her where to put the bucket and she pulled me aside.
now, i'm trying to use my new technique of maintaining eye contact, but i could only do it for so long because soon i was fidgeting with the bucket and then my eyes were watering in the stupid way they do whenever i have a private talk with a teacher. god i'm an idiot. who the hell else has a reaction to conversation like tearing??? its tthe worst habit.
she told me that she didnt tell me about the test because it wasnt my writing she was borderline on like everyone else, it was my behavior. phew! so she actually thinks i'm a good student, but not good in class. she said i was god when i sat alone and bad when i sat next to debbie. so debbie -- we can't sit next to each other this week sorry love. and then i left all bumbly and teary. ugh. at least she didnt see the teary part.
i was super stressed and needed to work and make some progress to get rid of all the anxiety so instead of going with the usuals to whereverm i went home and did history final review. i made it through 1/4 of the circa 100 vocab words. good flashcards though. i'm gonna ace this bitch. did some homework.. i feel better but still have the nagging feeling that i'm not done and that i still have so much to do.
FINALS NEXT WEEK.
6 girls called for matt leaving weird names. i bet you anything they were pranking him.
i went to dog class and wish i didn't.. nothing good happened and amber didn't do anything very well. and there was cake and lint chocolate, another temptation. i think i'll make a friends only list of things that are bothering me just to get it off my chest, you know? i like making lists when i have a lot to say. so laurie came over after and i drank tea which scalded my mouth. the fat lady was back at dog class. she has a huge self, son, and dog. hard life. i'm not making fun, i'm really serious. her son is mentally retarded too. it's really sad. if she could move herself around better it would be good for her.
luckily, dog class will be at mount ida nxt year, so i can keep training. tg its not in framingham or anything.
laurie and i talked about jobs.. she seems to be the opposite of my mom-- she suggests i work at a food or drug store or day camp. eh whatev.
so now im full of indian (i had 4 servings, thank god its healthy)
and i think that's all..
i'm very dissatisfied with my piano practicing this week. i thnk i'm behind. and the piece with me and matt has seemed to reach it's peak -- still not good.
oh, it's list time.
- Beck
ok back. ah, relief.
so i came to school a few mins late thinking all was well, but i had an assembly. so i showed up and it was ok, but i didn't have a seat near sonia and olivia.. in fact i was in a row practically alone. so that got sucky and i sat with jo. and jo gave me an adorable letter and jo i love you. and she made really cool picture/name things. grr sometimes my health class pisses me off. some people in particular. anyway. so math was so scary! stan never assigns work and all of a sudden it's like PACKETS! QUIZZES! TEST! FINAL! in one class. in sci. we got our first review sheet -- yay. and he gives the answers! i love you dambo! i decided to make a documentary of a day in his life and he agreed. he's a nice hugger. you'd think he'd be all bony and pointy but he's not. or maybe it was my super human pillowness/weslyan sweatshirt that padded me.either way.
gah ray knows nick likes her now. i hope nick doesnt read this. cause this is how ray found out in the first place. but i doubt nick reads my LJ so thats that. oy oy nick and his ricecakes. how shady/pathetic.
ok, so history was so annoying. we go over notes and take notes and more notes and ahh its awful. we got to work in groups for like two seconds and got nothing done anyway. and then he didnt give us the anwers. not cool.
art I FINISHED MY MASK! BOOYEAH!!! everyone will see my glory soon. debbie and eva -- it's changed i tell ya, it's changed.
english i was all excited to do a runthrough of the play cause i brought in my bucked that serves as a very good drum. but while waiting outside english, mrs.kish comes up alongside me and says "you're becca, right?" and then asks me about being borderline honors and stuff, and how i'm dealing with my behavior in class. so i told her i've been trying to separate myself from others and actually pay attention. so she was like,"ok! good luck getting in! i hope you do!" and then walked away. then abby and i are talking and she says "so, the borderline honors test is after school today" and then i kina freaked out cause mrs.karman never told me about it so i thought she might not want me in honors. that made me really sad. so i sat all alone in hopes of sucking up/getting her sympathy/because i didn't want to deal with our class' shit. so i did. then we had to get in groups and work on Rebecca instead of the runthrough. i went up to her and asked why mrs.kish asked me about the honors and she didnt know.. she said there was no secret or anything -- she really didnt know. how random. so i asked her later on about honors and whats going on with that. she said she didn't want to talk about it at the moment. so of course, i thought she was saying "i dont want you in honors and i want to let you down easy and not infront of all these people." so i became evern more anti social. at the end of class i went to ask her where to put the bucket and she pulled me aside.
now, i'm trying to use my new technique of maintaining eye contact, but i could only do it for so long because soon i was fidgeting with the bucket and then my eyes were watering in the stupid way they do whenever i have a private talk with a teacher. god i'm an idiot. who the hell else has a reaction to conversation like tearing??? its tthe worst habit.
she told me that she didnt tell me about the test because it wasnt my writing she was borderline on like everyone else, it was my behavior. phew! so she actually thinks i'm a good student, but not good in class. she said i was god when i sat alone and bad when i sat next to debbie. so debbie -- we can't sit next to each other this week sorry love. and then i left all bumbly and teary. ugh. at least she didnt see the teary part.
i was super stressed and needed to work and make some progress to get rid of all the anxiety so instead of going with the usuals to whereverm i went home and did history final review. i made it through 1/4 of the circa 100 vocab words. good flashcards though. i'm gonna ace this bitch. did some homework.. i feel better but still have the nagging feeling that i'm not done and that i still have so much to do.
FINALS NEXT WEEK.
6 girls called for matt leaving weird names. i bet you anything they were pranking him.
i went to dog class and wish i didn't.. nothing good happened and amber didn't do anything very well. and there was cake and lint chocolate, another temptation. i think i'll make a friends only list of things that are bothering me just to get it off my chest, you know? i like making lists when i have a lot to say. so laurie came over after and i drank tea which scalded my mouth. the fat lady was back at dog class. she has a huge self, son, and dog. hard life. i'm not making fun, i'm really serious. her son is mentally retarded too. it's really sad. if she could move herself around better it would be good for her.
luckily, dog class will be at mount ida nxt year, so i can keep training. tg its not in framingham or anything.
laurie and i talked about jobs.. she seems to be the opposite of my mom-- she suggests i work at a food or drug store or day camp. eh whatev.
so now im full of indian (i had 4 servings, thank god its healthy)
and i think that's all..
i'm very dissatisfied with my piano practicing this week. i thnk i'm behind. and the piece with me and matt has seemed to reach it's peak -- still not good.
oh, it's list time.
- Beck