Experiment
I am starting to love words. I used to hate words, i felt so confined, trapped behind things like spelling and grammar. But why? If I can say what my heart feels on paper, and let it bring my mind and heart together, what does grammar matter? I write how I speak, and I speak like this because of who I am, so why change it? I drew a picture the past few days, and it really trips me out, but if that is what I feel like drawing, maybe I can learn something from it. It is twisted, depressing, but there is hope. Have you ever sat down with a blank piece of paper in front of you and just let your mind say what it wants. not sentences, just words, phrases, thoughts, and emotions. It can be very unnerving. I would like to try it when I am in a good mood, maybe I'll find out what makes me happy. I know what frustrates me, and traps me, and the questions that won't leave my head, but at least i know that there are no solutions for those questions. There is nothing I can do about the things that bother me, and I think that is what bothers me the most. If you haven't tried the whole blank piece of paper thing, I recommend it. Maybe start with a drawing, and then what does it make you want to say, then just write it. It might look like you went crazy, I thought I had after I looked at what I had done, but just read it, bring it in, except that it is a part of you and come to peace with it. It is good for the soul... well i hope. I am still a little worried about my sanity. Wow, I need to stop.