(no subject)
i'm feeling a little lost the past few days. where to start...
i can't figure out how to fix a problem with a great person. i feel like i'm being avoided. i wish...well, i wish alot of things...
my mom ran into my biological grandparents the other day. it's all very strange. i haven't seen them since i was about two. i don't remember them at all...and i haven't seen my biological father since i was in fifth grade. court ordered visitation. and before that i hadn't seen him since i was two or three. anyways...my mom ran into them on a fluke and they mentioned that my half brother has been looking for me for awhile, but he was coming up with dead ends because i was adopted by my step dad when i was thirteen and my last name isn't the same. so my mom gave them my phone number to give to him...and told them that it was up to me if i wanted to talk to him or whatever. so that night while i was at work my grandparents called to talk to me. so my mom told them that she was going to keep their number on the caller id and let me know that they had called. i can't decide what to do. i mean...it would be strange if they called and i talked to them...but even stranger if i called them. i have nothing to say to them. no common memories or anything. *sigh* i don't know what to do.
and then i found out that the father of my godchild (chris) is cheating on jessica (the mother of my godchild). so i'm upset about that. and then my mom tells me that apparently the whole family is surprised that he didn't make a move on me because he's had a thing for me for almost three years. totally floored me. i had no idea...and now i'm uncomfortable with the thought. i know that i didn't purposly lead him on...but i can't help but wonder if i did something and he thought that it was more than it was.
i can't figure out how to fix a problem with a great person. i feel like i'm being avoided. i wish...well, i wish alot of things...
my mom ran into my biological grandparents the other day. it's all very strange. i haven't seen them since i was about two. i don't remember them at all...and i haven't seen my biological father since i was in fifth grade. court ordered visitation. and before that i hadn't seen him since i was two or three. anyways...my mom ran into them on a fluke and they mentioned that my half brother has been looking for me for awhile, but he was coming up with dead ends because i was adopted by my step dad when i was thirteen and my last name isn't the same. so my mom gave them my phone number to give to him...and told them that it was up to me if i wanted to talk to him or whatever. so that night while i was at work my grandparents called to talk to me. so my mom told them that she was going to keep their number on the caller id and let me know that they had called. i can't decide what to do. i mean...it would be strange if they called and i talked to them...but even stranger if i called them. i have nothing to say to them. no common memories or anything. *sigh* i don't know what to do.
and then i found out that the father of my godchild (chris) is cheating on jessica (the mother of my godchild). so i'm upset about that. and then my mom tells me that apparently the whole family is surprised that he didn't make a move on me because he's had a thing for me for almost three years. totally floored me. i had no idea...and now i'm uncomfortable with the thought. i know that i didn't purposly lead him on...but i can't help but wonder if i did something and he thought that it was more than it was.