Fan fic: Can it be a happy ending? [01]
Title: Can it be a happy ending?
Author: Mika (bleeding_jaws )
Band: The Gazette
Pairing: Reita x Aoi
Rating: PG13
Genre: Angst
Chapters: 1/?
Warning: Cursing
Disclaimer: Do not own anyone.
Summary: “You should control yourself.”
Note: I’ve had this for some time. I just didn’t know how to finish it. How it should be going. I still don’t quite know. Not for sure. But I ended it. And here it is. First chapter and all. In the beginning it was supposed to be a one shot. But I didn’t want that. So yeah. I don’t know what to say. It’s just something I wanted to write. So please read and comment. Thanks.
Following chapters:
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4a
Fan art
Artist and copyright: rukixkaiyaoi
Page 00
Page 01
Page 02
Page 03
Page 04
“Man.” Reita growled loudly to himself. Obviously annoyed. Stomping toward the closet he cursed at himself for not putting on new sheets when he ripped off the old ones this morning. Tired from the live. The blonde grabbed the handle, and pulled the closet open with force. Almost ripping it down at the same time. Pulling out whatever was there. Smashing the door shut. Running back to his bed. Hastily making the bed. There. Then he threw his body on the bed. Before crawling under the covers and snuggling more against the cold wall. Not too close. Just right where he liked it. Eyes fell shut. Breathe slowed down. Drifting into sleep.
Ding dong. Reita’s doorbell annoyingly rang. Pissing off the dead tired, already mad, man. Grabbing the covers. Pulling it over his head. Ignoring the intrusion. But it didn’t stop. Crushing his eyes tightly shut. Clenching his fists. Gritting teeth. He rolled over and dashed out of bed. Ran out the bedroom door, through the narrow corridor all the way to the front door. With a strong grip, he unlocked the door to pull it open.
“What the hell? It better be someone dying!” Reita spat fiercely before he even knew who it was. But noticed fast that he was yelling at the dark haired guitarist, Aoi.
“Bad timing..?” A nervous whisper left his friends lips. Aoi sucked his bottom lip. Tugging at the hem of his shirt, like a little child.
“You better make it fast before I get a sudden urge to blow my anger out on you. Dammit, Aoi. We just had a fucking live. I’m deadly tired. Can’t you come back tomorrow?!” The mad, younger man began closing the door before he heard the other man’s reply.
Aoi quickly slipped inside. “Please let me sleep with you then? Then I’ll tell you tomorrow. Please, Reita. I can’t take it anymore..” At the edge of whining. Tears ready to fill his beautiful eyes. Reita hated it when the others did that. They always did when they had to make him agree. But Reita understood, underneath his anger, that Aoi wasn’t kidding.
“Whatever, fine. Do what you want. Sleep wherever. Just. Do. Not. Wake. Me. Up.” Pointing his index finger at the taller man. Warning him before running back to the bedroom. His body was freezing. Walking around in his boxer when being so tired, was destined to freeze him to the bone. Snuggling back to where he usually lay. Sleep came easily.
Left behind in the hallway. The guitarist chuckled a little by how the half naked Reita had groaned then run away. In two movement he had slipped his sneakers of. At first he hesitated, before he went to lie down on the couch. Pulling the blanket over him. Freezing. Reita’s apartment was always freezing at night. Even though Reita had enough money not to worry about the electricity bills being too high, he always turned the heaters all the way down at night. It had been like that since he was young and living at home. It stuck with him as a bad habit. Aoi tossed around a few times. Before he got up and walked to the bedroom door. Hands hesitating to slide it open. But he thought. If he were quiet, nothing bad would happen. Bad, as in waking up Reita. So he sneaked in. Deciding to take off his clothes. Leaving them in a neat pile by the bed side. Not like the bassist. Which had thrown clothes all around the room. Aoi thought he better leave the t-shirt on, and then he crawled in. snuggled as clothes as he dared. Feeling warm to the bones. With his heart fluttering a little.
Stretching, slowly. Feeling it in every single muscle. The blonde slowly blinked his eyes open to get used to the light. Tossing and turning until he figured sleep wouldn’t come back. Though he were still quite exhausted. Placing his naked feet on the cold floor, Reita went to his drawer to pick out a new pair of boxers before running to the shower. His bathroom connected with the bedroom. Just as the door shut, Reita had stepped out of his boxers. In the shower he turned the heat rapidly up. Reita loved to warm up in the shower. Such a nice, tingling feeling. Letting the water run all over his overly tense body. After cleaning and rinsing, from top to toe, Reita turned of the shower and grabbed a towel. Drying himself and pulling on the clean boxers. Reita stared at the mirror. Leaning closer and wiggling his exposed nose. Wondering if he should put on the noseband and maybe some clothes.
“It’s a day off. I’ll just end up watching movies and play video games alone. Unless something else comes along. I can dress up then.” Reita reasoned with himself. Figuring he perhaps should have to stop talking to himself. Thinking he was forgetting something important. He shrugged off the feeling and decided to go get some coffee to wake up properly. On the way the bassist grabbed a shirt he proposed was clean. And stepped out in to the hall.
Aoi heard the door slam shut. Inhaling some air to calm down. Getting ready to face the hopefully cheerful bassist.
Half way into the kitchen. The blonde stopped in his tracks and frowned. Staring curiously at the other.
“How, and why?” Was all he got out. “How did he get in, and why did he get in”, is what Reita meant to ask. Staring curiously at the guitarist seated at his kitchen table with a cup of coffee in his hands.
“You don’t remember?” Aoi’s mouth dropped open. “You let me in last night, moron.” Aoi said in a passive tone. But sounding like he was somewhat annoyed now.
“I did?” Reita pondered. “Why..?” Moving from his spot he went and opened the fridge. Stopping to stare at the ceiling for a moment. His brain cells working like crazy, even this early in the morning, to bring back last night. Slowly. Pieces came back and put the puzzle together. “Oh, now I remember.” Mumbling slowly. More to himself that to Aoi. He grabbed a yoghurt he were sure had wanted him to eat it. Plumping down next to Aoi. Fidgeting by the close presence of the other. Aoi was. “Spill it, Aoi. I’m not sure how much patience I have and how social I can be today. At least not this early in the morning.” Opening the yoghurt, digging the spoon in it, then bringing it thoughtfully to his mouth. Spacing out for a second ad the delicious strawberry flavour filled his mouth and played at his tongue before he swallowed it.
“Why are you always angry with me, Rei?” A quiet whimper left the other mans throat. Barely. His nails digging into the palm of his hand. It didn’t hurt. Not like the strange feeling in his chest. Nails just went deeper. A bad habit, Reita knew and grabbed the dark heads hand.
“You should control yourself. You’re not a kid. Stop hurting yourself with that fucking bad habit, Aoi. It pisses me off when you do it.” Sounding angrier than what he had meant to. “Sorry, Aoi. I didn’t mean it. I just don’t like people hurting themselves.” And a ghostly, hazy loo got the better of the blonde’s facial lines. Remembering a certain someone. That one person Reita had worked really hard to forget.. started to fill every single corner of his mind. Even the body remembered the burning touches. That sensation. Those sensual words that was whispered into his ear. Some time ago. A burning heat that never left his body. Not even now. Perhaps it was fickle, but some where deep inside, it still burned. Intimate times when he was hold closely and the other sang. He sang. And he was the only one who heard. Those rainy days when the depression seeped in, they would stay in bed. And he was told it was all okay. It all came back. With no intention to leave right away.
Jumping from his seat. Reita headed for the television. Popping in some cables here and there. Fishing out a controller. Placing himself on the floor. Feeling the cold, he shuddered and hurried around the apartment to turn up every heater. Grabbed a blanket and sat back down in front of the starting game. Tekken 5. Beating up some people, though only visually, without doubt it always cheered him up.
Aoi stared longingly at the blondes back. Not sure what pushed his buttons. Never in their friendship had he seen such a sad and depressed expression on their bassists face. But Reita didn’t like to share things about him. He said the past wasn’t important. Always laughing off the others efforts to find out something about his old self. Turning the tables. Always. Making them rather talk about themselves.
Some minutes passed. Reita played. Aoi slowly sipped his coffee. Searching his mind for everything he knew about Reita. There wasn’t much. Just normal stuff. Like his family status. Where he’s lived. Favourite music, game, manga, food, actor, TV show, and such. But those things don’t matter. Or so Aoi thought to himself. He didn’t know how he had been when he was young. What he has done. Fun things. Sad things. Aoi didn’t know a thing about this man he’s played with for 4 years something. Shit, that’s a long time. “Why won’t you share your heart Reita?” Aoi mumbled lowly to himself. Staring at the other man’s back. As if he only had to stare long enough and he’d see through to his heart.
“Man. It was un-cool of me to lose it in front of Aoi. I better hurry up and apologize.” Scratching his head. Reita got up. Switched off the TV and game. Straitening up and walked steadily toward Aoi.
“Sorry, man. I’m just really tired, you know. Didn’t get much sleep either.” Reita rambled on. Staring firmly into Aoi’s eyes. Almost embarrassing the older man. Without him knowing that, of course.
“Ah, no, I’m sorry for bothering you when you don’t feel like socializing.” Words leaving softly from Aoi’s pretty lips. Half a smile. Not too cocky, not too sad.
“If you know, why did you come?” Perhaps a taste of irritations, but a rather soft groan. Scratching his neck, glancing between the ceiling and Aoi. “Can you please just get the fuck over with it, hm? And I don’t quite get why you can’t just tell me in the studio, cause we see each other everyday. Almost. It’s not like you haven’t been able to tell me then. So please, tell me now. Since it’s our day off, I bet you have plenty of other things to do. So spit it out and be on your way, nee?!.” Reita cracked smile. Half jokingly. But whether he’d been serious at all, only Reita knew.
With a million things going through his head. Aoi started to nervously shake and looked down at the coffee cup between his hands. Harder. His hands. It was like they were determinedly trying to crush the cup. Break it to pieces. And all these feeling Aoi had kept inside himself for all too many years. Suppressing them and fooling himself that it was not anything serious. Waking up everyday and thinking soon it will go away. Soon. Soon. But it never disappeared. When it came down to it. All that comes to mind is. Your voice, facial expressions and your hands leaping up and down the bass’s neck. It’s some very happy feelings. He tries to put it into words. But he’s always just hid them somewhere inside his heart were no one could find them. And here he stands. Wanting to say something. The pressure to say something is high. But all that comes to mind. All that hammers in his head are these three, never so simple words.
“I love you.” Is what hammered in his head. And it hammered on. And on. Over and over again. Until he spilled it all out. And here they came. All the years of worrying. Happy feelings. Sad breakdowns. All inside himself. Never sharing. Not telling a soul. Here it is. What are you going to do with this, Reita? It’s not something to misunderstand. And it’s not something you can push away. Feelings that have build for a long time. What will you do? Aoi is about to burst. You better take it seriously.
NEXT
Author: Mika (bleeding_jaws )
Band: The Gazette
Pairing: Reita x Aoi
Rating: PG13
Genre: Angst
Chapters: 1/?
Warning: Cursing
Disclaimer: Do not own anyone.
Summary: “You should control yourself.”
Note: I’ve had this for some time. I just didn’t know how to finish it. How it should be going. I still don’t quite know. Not for sure. But I ended it. And here it is. First chapter and all. In the beginning it was supposed to be a one shot. But I didn’t want that. So yeah. I don’t know what to say. It’s just something I wanted to write. So please read and comment. Thanks.
Following chapters:
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4a
Fan art
Artist and copyright: rukixkaiyaoi
Page 00
Page 01
Page 02
Page 03
Page 04
“Man.” Reita growled loudly to himself. Obviously annoyed. Stomping toward the closet he cursed at himself for not putting on new sheets when he ripped off the old ones this morning. Tired from the live. The blonde grabbed the handle, and pulled the closet open with force. Almost ripping it down at the same time. Pulling out whatever was there. Smashing the door shut. Running back to his bed. Hastily making the bed. There. Then he threw his body on the bed. Before crawling under the covers and snuggling more against the cold wall. Not too close. Just right where he liked it. Eyes fell shut. Breathe slowed down. Drifting into sleep.
Ding dong. Reita’s doorbell annoyingly rang. Pissing off the dead tired, already mad, man. Grabbing the covers. Pulling it over his head. Ignoring the intrusion. But it didn’t stop. Crushing his eyes tightly shut. Clenching his fists. Gritting teeth. He rolled over and dashed out of bed. Ran out the bedroom door, through the narrow corridor all the way to the front door. With a strong grip, he unlocked the door to pull it open.
“What the hell? It better be someone dying!” Reita spat fiercely before he even knew who it was. But noticed fast that he was yelling at the dark haired guitarist, Aoi.
“Bad timing..?” A nervous whisper left his friends lips. Aoi sucked his bottom lip. Tugging at the hem of his shirt, like a little child.
“You better make it fast before I get a sudden urge to blow my anger out on you. Dammit, Aoi. We just had a fucking live. I’m deadly tired. Can’t you come back tomorrow?!” The mad, younger man began closing the door before he heard the other man’s reply.
Aoi quickly slipped inside. “Please let me sleep with you then? Then I’ll tell you tomorrow. Please, Reita. I can’t take it anymore..” At the edge of whining. Tears ready to fill his beautiful eyes. Reita hated it when the others did that. They always did when they had to make him agree. But Reita understood, underneath his anger, that Aoi wasn’t kidding.
“Whatever, fine. Do what you want. Sleep wherever. Just. Do. Not. Wake. Me. Up.” Pointing his index finger at the taller man. Warning him before running back to the bedroom. His body was freezing. Walking around in his boxer when being so tired, was destined to freeze him to the bone. Snuggling back to where he usually lay. Sleep came easily.
Left behind in the hallway. The guitarist chuckled a little by how the half naked Reita had groaned then run away. In two movement he had slipped his sneakers of. At first he hesitated, before he went to lie down on the couch. Pulling the blanket over him. Freezing. Reita’s apartment was always freezing at night. Even though Reita had enough money not to worry about the electricity bills being too high, he always turned the heaters all the way down at night. It had been like that since he was young and living at home. It stuck with him as a bad habit. Aoi tossed around a few times. Before he got up and walked to the bedroom door. Hands hesitating to slide it open. But he thought. If he were quiet, nothing bad would happen. Bad, as in waking up Reita. So he sneaked in. Deciding to take off his clothes. Leaving them in a neat pile by the bed side. Not like the bassist. Which had thrown clothes all around the room. Aoi thought he better leave the t-shirt on, and then he crawled in. snuggled as clothes as he dared. Feeling warm to the bones. With his heart fluttering a little.
Stretching, slowly. Feeling it in every single muscle. The blonde slowly blinked his eyes open to get used to the light. Tossing and turning until he figured sleep wouldn’t come back. Though he were still quite exhausted. Placing his naked feet on the cold floor, Reita went to his drawer to pick out a new pair of boxers before running to the shower. His bathroom connected with the bedroom. Just as the door shut, Reita had stepped out of his boxers. In the shower he turned the heat rapidly up. Reita loved to warm up in the shower. Such a nice, tingling feeling. Letting the water run all over his overly tense body. After cleaning and rinsing, from top to toe, Reita turned of the shower and grabbed a towel. Drying himself and pulling on the clean boxers. Reita stared at the mirror. Leaning closer and wiggling his exposed nose. Wondering if he should put on the noseband and maybe some clothes.
“It’s a day off. I’ll just end up watching movies and play video games alone. Unless something else comes along. I can dress up then.” Reita reasoned with himself. Figuring he perhaps should have to stop talking to himself. Thinking he was forgetting something important. He shrugged off the feeling and decided to go get some coffee to wake up properly. On the way the bassist grabbed a shirt he proposed was clean. And stepped out in to the hall.
Aoi heard the door slam shut. Inhaling some air to calm down. Getting ready to face the hopefully cheerful bassist.
Half way into the kitchen. The blonde stopped in his tracks and frowned. Staring curiously at the other.
“How, and why?” Was all he got out. “How did he get in, and why did he get in”, is what Reita meant to ask. Staring curiously at the guitarist seated at his kitchen table with a cup of coffee in his hands.
“You don’t remember?” Aoi’s mouth dropped open. “You let me in last night, moron.” Aoi said in a passive tone. But sounding like he was somewhat annoyed now.
“I did?” Reita pondered. “Why..?” Moving from his spot he went and opened the fridge. Stopping to stare at the ceiling for a moment. His brain cells working like crazy, even this early in the morning, to bring back last night. Slowly. Pieces came back and put the puzzle together. “Oh, now I remember.” Mumbling slowly. More to himself that to Aoi. He grabbed a yoghurt he were sure had wanted him to eat it. Plumping down next to Aoi. Fidgeting by the close presence of the other. Aoi was. “Spill it, Aoi. I’m not sure how much patience I have and how social I can be today. At least not this early in the morning.” Opening the yoghurt, digging the spoon in it, then bringing it thoughtfully to his mouth. Spacing out for a second ad the delicious strawberry flavour filled his mouth and played at his tongue before he swallowed it.
“Why are you always angry with me, Rei?” A quiet whimper left the other mans throat. Barely. His nails digging into the palm of his hand. It didn’t hurt. Not like the strange feeling in his chest. Nails just went deeper. A bad habit, Reita knew and grabbed the dark heads hand.
“You should control yourself. You’re not a kid. Stop hurting yourself with that fucking bad habit, Aoi. It pisses me off when you do it.” Sounding angrier than what he had meant to. “Sorry, Aoi. I didn’t mean it. I just don’t like people hurting themselves.” And a ghostly, hazy loo got the better of the blonde’s facial lines. Remembering a certain someone. That one person Reita had worked really hard to forget.. started to fill every single corner of his mind. Even the body remembered the burning touches. That sensation. Those sensual words that was whispered into his ear. Some time ago. A burning heat that never left his body. Not even now. Perhaps it was fickle, but some where deep inside, it still burned. Intimate times when he was hold closely and the other sang. He sang. And he was the only one who heard. Those rainy days when the depression seeped in, they would stay in bed. And he was told it was all okay. It all came back. With no intention to leave right away.
Jumping from his seat. Reita headed for the television. Popping in some cables here and there. Fishing out a controller. Placing himself on the floor. Feeling the cold, he shuddered and hurried around the apartment to turn up every heater. Grabbed a blanket and sat back down in front of the starting game. Tekken 5. Beating up some people, though only visually, without doubt it always cheered him up.
Aoi stared longingly at the blondes back. Not sure what pushed his buttons. Never in their friendship had he seen such a sad and depressed expression on their bassists face. But Reita didn’t like to share things about him. He said the past wasn’t important. Always laughing off the others efforts to find out something about his old self. Turning the tables. Always. Making them rather talk about themselves.
Some minutes passed. Reita played. Aoi slowly sipped his coffee. Searching his mind for everything he knew about Reita. There wasn’t much. Just normal stuff. Like his family status. Where he’s lived. Favourite music, game, manga, food, actor, TV show, and such. But those things don’t matter. Or so Aoi thought to himself. He didn’t know how he had been when he was young. What he has done. Fun things. Sad things. Aoi didn’t know a thing about this man he’s played with for 4 years something. Shit, that’s a long time. “Why won’t you share your heart Reita?” Aoi mumbled lowly to himself. Staring at the other man’s back. As if he only had to stare long enough and he’d see through to his heart.
“Man. It was un-cool of me to lose it in front of Aoi. I better hurry up and apologize.” Scratching his head. Reita got up. Switched off the TV and game. Straitening up and walked steadily toward Aoi.
“Sorry, man. I’m just really tired, you know. Didn’t get much sleep either.” Reita rambled on. Staring firmly into Aoi’s eyes. Almost embarrassing the older man. Without him knowing that, of course.
“Ah, no, I’m sorry for bothering you when you don’t feel like socializing.” Words leaving softly from Aoi’s pretty lips. Half a smile. Not too cocky, not too sad.
“If you know, why did you come?” Perhaps a taste of irritations, but a rather soft groan. Scratching his neck, glancing between the ceiling and Aoi. “Can you please just get the fuck over with it, hm? And I don’t quite get why you can’t just tell me in the studio, cause we see each other everyday. Almost. It’s not like you haven’t been able to tell me then. So please, tell me now. Since it’s our day off, I bet you have plenty of other things to do. So spit it out and be on your way, nee?!.” Reita cracked smile. Half jokingly. But whether he’d been serious at all, only Reita knew.
With a million things going through his head. Aoi started to nervously shake and looked down at the coffee cup between his hands. Harder. His hands. It was like they were determinedly trying to crush the cup. Break it to pieces. And all these feeling Aoi had kept inside himself for all too many years. Suppressing them and fooling himself that it was not anything serious. Waking up everyday and thinking soon it will go away. Soon. Soon. But it never disappeared. When it came down to it. All that comes to mind is. Your voice, facial expressions and your hands leaping up and down the bass’s neck. It’s some very happy feelings. He tries to put it into words. But he’s always just hid them somewhere inside his heart were no one could find them. And here he stands. Wanting to say something. The pressure to say something is high. But all that comes to mind. All that hammers in his head are these three, never so simple words.
“I love you.” Is what hammered in his head. And it hammered on. And on. Over and over again. Until he spilled it all out. And here they came. All the years of worrying. Happy feelings. Sad breakdowns. All inside himself. Never sharing. Not telling a soul. Here it is. What are you going to do with this, Reita? It’s not something to misunderstand. And it’s not something you can push away. Feelings that have build for a long time. What will you do? Aoi is about to burst. You better take it seriously.
NEXT