(no subject)
Got to love it, it's the best feeling in the world. Getting in a fight which ends with him getting a call and hanging up....
Welcome family weekend which starts tomorrow but my family will not be anywhere to be found, nor will my boyfriend(who is on his way into a lovley burning building) right now because he is too busy with things he has to do for other people this weekend even though its going rain so he cant work and he knew how much i wanted someone to be here this weekend and he knows if he doesnt come he cant come in the future so it will be 20 plus days till i see him on top of the 11 days its been. So over 30 days. But he has to feed Jeffs cats and help someone else do something and cut grass (b/c everyone can cut grass in the rain!) But im not bitter or anything....
I am so damn sick of this....... its a lie you know...all bullshit...and for what???? Tears, fights, 30 days of phone calls?? Empty promises??? Every reason I wanted to avoid relationships to begin with????
But the sad part is, I cant walk away. I cant end things with him. I have no desire to even when all i want to do is scream at him and hit him. In the end, I love him. I love him more than i thought i could love someone else. I would be meserible without him (i wonder if i can be any more meserible than i already am though...) I love him so damn much. I would do anything for him, and he claims he would do anything for me (but come on a weekend i really need him to come on, thats too much to ask)
So my big plans for the weekend....get ready, they are exciting......order a pizza, watch Charlie Brown and the Great Pumpkin King, study, hide out in my room so i dont have to see everyone with their families, and stay pissed off because thats what i do best......
Welcome family weekend which starts tomorrow but my family will not be anywhere to be found, nor will my boyfriend(who is on his way into a lovley burning building) right now because he is too busy with things he has to do for other people this weekend even though its going rain so he cant work and he knew how much i wanted someone to be here this weekend and he knows if he doesnt come he cant come in the future so it will be 20 plus days till i see him on top of the 11 days its been. So over 30 days. But he has to feed Jeffs cats and help someone else do something and cut grass (b/c everyone can cut grass in the rain!) But im not bitter or anything....
I am so damn sick of this....... its a lie you know...all bullshit...and for what???? Tears, fights, 30 days of phone calls?? Empty promises??? Every reason I wanted to avoid relationships to begin with????
But the sad part is, I cant walk away. I cant end things with him. I have no desire to even when all i want to do is scream at him and hit him. In the end, I love him. I love him more than i thought i could love someone else. I would be meserible without him (i wonder if i can be any more meserible than i already am though...) I love him so damn much. I would do anything for him, and he claims he would do anything for me (but come on a weekend i really need him to come on, thats too much to ask)
So my big plans for the weekend....get ready, they are exciting......order a pizza, watch Charlie Brown and the Great Pumpkin King, study, hide out in my room so i dont have to see everyone with their families, and stay pissed off because thats what i do best......