(no subject)
Good news everybody! I lost 16lbs in less than a week! Bad news, 16lbs. In. Less. Than. A. Week.. All you have to do is not eat and um, get sick every time you do try to eat. Best diet ever?
Went to a new doctor today who seemed pretty nice, v. patient and understanding. She doesn't know what the cause of this fainting is but is going to do some more bloodwork and give me an echocardiogram and a Holter monitor for a few days. It could be my gallbladder, it could be an ulcer, it could be my heart. My dad has hypertrophic cardiomyopathy which is a genetic heart disorder (it's the disease that causes healthy young teens to fall over and drop dead during sports) that could be passed on to me. I was always told it was passed on to the males in the family more than females but I guess that's wrong info.
I got an attack while I was in the office and the doctor could see it was coming on (which is really, really good that she saw this). I went to their sister office to start the monitor but it turns out that it wasn't ordered yet. The attack was worse by then and I spent an hour in one of their rooms with my feet up. A doctor that I saw a long time ago when I was on Savella (which also fucked up my heart, my bp, gave me arrhythmia and dizziness) saw me since I wasn't getting better. I really, really hate that guy. He was a jerk then and he was a jerk now (constantly going "uhuh" interrupting me as if he's hand motioning "Get on with it"). But, he suggested a few different things this could be so that was partially helpful.
I know it sounds silly but you find it kind of hard not to question your mortality when you're lying on a bed thinking your heart could explode. All that goes through my head are medical shows where the patient codes and what must they be feeling when this happens. I'm doing really well keeping myself calm when it happens but with no answers and the attacks getting more frequent it's hard not to worry.
And it's even harder not to feel embarrassed when the entire time I've spent with my current employer I've been progressively becoming more ill. I know I'm not lying and I hope they know I'm not lying but it's just, one thing after another. I feel like my immune system went, "Hasta bitches, this body is for the birds" and ditched me. And I'm all, "But wait, I need you, I'll probably die without you." And it's all, "So?" And I'm like, "Didn't we share some good times, some adventures?" And it's like, "This shit ain't worth it."
Sigh. What I wouldn't give to be able to eat a real meal right now. I need to stop watching No Reservations and the Food Network and TV in general because if you didn't know this already, 95% of commercials are all food related. You're a cruel, cruel society, America.
Went to a new doctor today who seemed pretty nice, v. patient and understanding. She doesn't know what the cause of this fainting is but is going to do some more bloodwork and give me an echocardiogram and a Holter monitor for a few days. It could be my gallbladder, it could be an ulcer, it could be my heart. My dad has hypertrophic cardiomyopathy which is a genetic heart disorder (it's the disease that causes healthy young teens to fall over and drop dead during sports) that could be passed on to me. I was always told it was passed on to the males in the family more than females but I guess that's wrong info.
I got an attack while I was in the office and the doctor could see it was coming on (which is really, really good that she saw this). I went to their sister office to start the monitor but it turns out that it wasn't ordered yet. The attack was worse by then and I spent an hour in one of their rooms with my feet up. A doctor that I saw a long time ago when I was on Savella (which also fucked up my heart, my bp, gave me arrhythmia and dizziness) saw me since I wasn't getting better. I really, really hate that guy. He was a jerk then and he was a jerk now (constantly going "uhuh" interrupting me as if he's hand motioning "Get on with it"). But, he suggested a few different things this could be so that was partially helpful.
I know it sounds silly but you find it kind of hard not to question your mortality when you're lying on a bed thinking your heart could explode. All that goes through my head are medical shows where the patient codes and what must they be feeling when this happens. I'm doing really well keeping myself calm when it happens but with no answers and the attacks getting more frequent it's hard not to worry.
And it's even harder not to feel embarrassed when the entire time I've spent with my current employer I've been progressively becoming more ill. I know I'm not lying and I hope they know I'm not lying but it's just, one thing after another. I feel like my immune system went, "Hasta bitches, this body is for the birds" and ditched me. And I'm all, "But wait, I need you, I'll probably die without you." And it's all, "So?" And I'm like, "Didn't we share some good times, some adventures?" And it's like, "This shit ain't worth it."
Sigh. What I wouldn't give to be able to eat a real meal right now. I need to stop watching No Reservations and the Food Network and TV in general because if you didn't know this already, 95% of commercials are all food related. You're a cruel, cruel society, America.