"Hey Lauren, it's me Max, just wanted to see what the deal was with that rat cake...."
This probably won't make sense to many:
excerpt, setting: Lauren as a barista in NYC
Lauren dropped beneath the counter and searched for receipt paper when she heard the door bells jingle.
The customer gave an impatient cough.
"Just a second!" She said and popped back up. "Can I...you're Conan O'Brien!"
There indeed stood Mr. Late Night himself, smiling sheepishly with his long time friend Max Weinberg.
"And I'm Max Weinberg of the Max Weinberg 7," Max said offering his hand.
"Conan O'Brien!" Lauren repeated.
"Nobody ever recognizes me," Max pouted.
"Conan? Where?" Conan said searching the horizon.
Lauren laughed a little too hard, "IloveyouConan!"
"That Conan, he's the tops!" Conan agreed about himself. "But seriously, I think I'll have a cappuccino and that orange and cranberry scone there."
"No," Lauren said.
"Excuse me?"
"You don't want that scone. Skye made it. The rats won't even eat it."
"Oh, uh...."
"Let me buy you a cup of good coffee on the house," she suggested happily coming out from behind the counter.
"Where are you going?" Max asked.
"I said a cup of good coffee. You're not going to find that here," she scoffed taking the money from the tip jar. "I'm taking you to an actual coffee house that makes edible food, unless you want the rat cake."
Max tilted his head to the side and thought about it for a minute.
Conan rolled his eyes, "No Max."
Lauren locked up and walked them down the street to the "8th Note" where she bought all of them cake and coffee.
Sitting down at the table Conan thanked her for the free goods. "Perks of being famous," he said raising his glass to her.
Max picked at his cake and gave a sigh.
Conan coughed, "Just forget about it, man."
Lauren rolled her eyes, "I'll give it to you for free if you leave Conan and I alone."
"What?"
Max nodded emphatically, "Score one for Max Weinberg. People are recognizing my greatness. Take that Meatloaf!" He got up and left the cafe.
"He was kind of creeping me out," Lauren admitted.
"He has that effect," Conan agreed "Sooo...have you been a fan for long?"
"Only since I was nine!"
"Is that even possible?"
Lauren shifted her eyes,"It was must be so fantastic to work in the comedy industry! I'm a writer myself."
"Have you ever thought about a career involving plastic dog poo and rubber chickens?"
"At some point, yes. But I don't think I'd be very good at comedy writing. I mean, I'm not exactly a best-selling author, just a few published pieces here and there with my co-writer Kiley."
"You should send me some," Conan suggested. "I'm always happy to offer some advice."
"Really?" Lauren gasped, "That would be so wonderful! I'd buy you coffee for a whole month! And edible cake!"
Conan laughed, "I think you've got what it takes kid. Reach for the stars! Or whatever."
"Well I'll definitely send you something. Here's my info," Lauren wrote sloppily on a napkin with her lipliner. "In case you...well, if you ever need anything and I mean anything I'd be happy to help," she said slightly wiggling her eyebrows.
"In that case, here's my private pager number!" Conan quipped. "But no really, you can send your things here." He handed her a business card that read, "Conan O'Brien, Righteous Pompadour."
subsequent random humorous im highlights
colorizemylife (1:52:42 AM): lmfao max thinking about it!
colorizemylife (1:52:50 AM): HAHAHA
kileyenfrancais (1:52:53 AM): that's my favorite part
colorizemylife (1:52:58 AM): <3
kileyenfrancais (1:53:27 AM): see it's funny cuz you've met him lol
colorizemylife (1:54:20 AM): yes, it's weird to read fic about people you've met hehe
colorizemylife (2:14:56 AM): I'm going to love when this somehow comes up later in smut story, about how FL was out with Conan (is sexxing going to happen at all?)
colorizemylife (2:15:35 AM): Isaac: "..... you did WHAT with Conan O'Brien?"
kileyenfrancais (2:15:40 AM): lmao
kileyenfrancais (2:15:58 AM): "was ratcake involved? ugh lauren i disown you! ratcake was OUR thing!"
colorizemylife (2:16:03 AM): LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
colorizemylife (2:16:11 AM): omg
colorizemylife (2:16:12 AM): lmao!
kileyenfrancais (2:16:15 AM): ::answering machine goes off:: hi lauren it's max i'm calling about the ratcake
colorizemylife (2:16:22 AM): LMFAO!!!!
colorizemylife (2:16:25 AM): HAHAHAHAHA
kileyenfrancais (2:16:45 AM): "you ratwhore!"
colorizemylife (2:16:48 AM): *dying*
colorizemylife (2:16:50 AM): hHAHAH
colorizemylife (2:16:57 AM): ratcake was our thing! HAHAH
kileyenfrancais (2:17:30 AM): :: you have 31 message:: hi lauren it's me again
colorizemylife (2:17:34 AM): HAHAHAHA
colorizemylife (2:17:38 AM): my stomach hurtsomg
kileyenfrancais (2:17:41 AM): "just wondering what' s the story on the ratcake..."
colorizemylife (2:17:47 AM): hahahaha
kileyenfrancais (2:18:07 AM): beep ::my name is max and i'm here to say, i'll eat your ratcake any day::
colorizemylife (2:18:11 AM): lmfao
kileyenfrancais (2:18:47 AM): oh i can't breahte lol
kileyenfrancais (2:19:06 AM): your machine keeps going off as ike stands there looking betrayed
colorizemylife (2:19:17 AM): HAHAHAHAH
kileyenfrancais (2:19:22 AM): Zac busts in, "I heard something about free cake."
colorizemylife (2:19:23 AM): HAHAHAH
colorizemylife (2:19:32 AM): HAHAH!
kileyenfrancais (2:19:33 AM): "Get in line, asshole." Ike replies
On Lauren and her love of Conan's rip-away suit (via Serena Williams/Wii interview)
kileyenfrancais (2:57:12 AM): Lauren: "Is that velcro i hear Conan?" Conan: "Why....yes, yes it is."
Lauren: "Velcro makes me *hot*."
kileyenfrancais (2:57:21 AM): Conan: "Hoho, does it....rawr"
colorizemylife (2:57:23 AM): hahahahaahhah
kileyenfrancais (2:58:20 AM): Max wanders across camera, "Oh where oh where could my ratcake gone oh where oh where could it be?"
colorizemylife (2:58:26 AM): HAHAHAH
colorizemylife (2:58:34 AM): Max is always wanting the ratcake
colorizemylife (2:58:38 AM): when will he learn...
We are such dorks.
excerpt, setting: Lauren as a barista in NYC
Lauren dropped beneath the counter and searched for receipt paper when she heard the door bells jingle.
The customer gave an impatient cough.
"Just a second!" She said and popped back up. "Can I...you're Conan O'Brien!"
There indeed stood Mr. Late Night himself, smiling sheepishly with his long time friend Max Weinberg.
"And I'm Max Weinberg of the Max Weinberg 7," Max said offering his hand.
"Conan O'Brien!" Lauren repeated.
"Nobody ever recognizes me," Max pouted.
"Conan? Where?" Conan said searching the horizon.
Lauren laughed a little too hard, "IloveyouConan!"
"That Conan, he's the tops!" Conan agreed about himself. "But seriously, I think I'll have a cappuccino and that orange and cranberry scone there."
"No," Lauren said.
"Excuse me?"
"You don't want that scone. Skye made it. The rats won't even eat it."
"Oh, uh...."
"Let me buy you a cup of good coffee on the house," she suggested happily coming out from behind the counter.
"Where are you going?" Max asked.
"I said a cup of good coffee. You're not going to find that here," she scoffed taking the money from the tip jar. "I'm taking you to an actual coffee house that makes edible food, unless you want the rat cake."
Max tilted his head to the side and thought about it for a minute.
Conan rolled his eyes, "No Max."
Lauren locked up and walked them down the street to the "8th Note" where she bought all of them cake and coffee.
Sitting down at the table Conan thanked her for the free goods. "Perks of being famous," he said raising his glass to her.
Max picked at his cake and gave a sigh.
Conan coughed, "Just forget about it, man."
Lauren rolled her eyes, "I'll give it to you for free if you leave Conan and I alone."
"What?"
Max nodded emphatically, "Score one for Max Weinberg. People are recognizing my greatness. Take that Meatloaf!" He got up and left the cafe.
"He was kind of creeping me out," Lauren admitted.
"He has that effect," Conan agreed "Sooo...have you been a fan for long?"
"Only since I was nine!"
"Is that even possible?"
Lauren shifted her eyes,"It was must be so fantastic to work in the comedy industry! I'm a writer myself."
"Have you ever thought about a career involving plastic dog poo and rubber chickens?"
"At some point, yes. But I don't think I'd be very good at comedy writing. I mean, I'm not exactly a best-selling author, just a few published pieces here and there with my co-writer Kiley."
"You should send me some," Conan suggested. "I'm always happy to offer some advice."
"Really?" Lauren gasped, "That would be so wonderful! I'd buy you coffee for a whole month! And edible cake!"
Conan laughed, "I think you've got what it takes kid. Reach for the stars! Or whatever."
"Well I'll definitely send you something. Here's my info," Lauren wrote sloppily on a napkin with her lipliner. "In case you...well, if you ever need anything and I mean anything I'd be happy to help," she said slightly wiggling her eyebrows.
"In that case, here's my private pager number!" Conan quipped. "But no really, you can send your things here." He handed her a business card that read, "Conan O'Brien, Righteous Pompadour."
subsequent random humorous im highlights
colorizemylife (1:52:42 AM): lmfao max thinking about it!
colorizemylife (1:52:50 AM): HAHAHA
kileyenfrancais (1:52:53 AM): that's my favorite part
colorizemylife (1:52:58 AM): <3
kileyenfrancais (1:53:27 AM): see it's funny cuz you've met him lol
colorizemylife (1:54:20 AM): yes, it's weird to read fic about people you've met hehe
colorizemylife (2:14:56 AM): I'm going to love when this somehow comes up later in smut story, about how FL was out with Conan (is sexxing going to happen at all?)
colorizemylife (2:15:35 AM): Isaac: "..... you did WHAT with Conan O'Brien?"
kileyenfrancais (2:15:40 AM): lmao
kileyenfrancais (2:15:58 AM): "was ratcake involved? ugh lauren i disown you! ratcake was OUR thing!"
colorizemylife (2:16:03 AM): LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
colorizemylife (2:16:11 AM): omg
colorizemylife (2:16:12 AM): lmao!
kileyenfrancais (2:16:15 AM): ::answering machine goes off:: hi lauren it's max i'm calling about the ratcake
colorizemylife (2:16:22 AM): LMFAO!!!!
colorizemylife (2:16:25 AM): HAHAHAHAHA
kileyenfrancais (2:16:45 AM): "you ratwhore!"
colorizemylife (2:16:48 AM): *dying*
colorizemylife (2:16:50 AM): hHAHAH
colorizemylife (2:16:57 AM): ratcake was our thing! HAHAH
kileyenfrancais (2:17:30 AM): :: you have 31 message:: hi lauren it's me again
colorizemylife (2:17:34 AM): HAHAHAHA
colorizemylife (2:17:38 AM): my stomach hurtsomg
kileyenfrancais (2:17:41 AM): "just wondering what' s the story on the ratcake..."
colorizemylife (2:17:47 AM): hahahaha
kileyenfrancais (2:18:07 AM): beep ::my name is max and i'm here to say, i'll eat your ratcake any day::
colorizemylife (2:18:11 AM): lmfao
kileyenfrancais (2:18:47 AM): oh i can't breahte lol
kileyenfrancais (2:19:06 AM): your machine keeps going off as ike stands there looking betrayed
colorizemylife (2:19:17 AM): HAHAHAHAH
kileyenfrancais (2:19:22 AM): Zac busts in, "I heard something about free cake."
colorizemylife (2:19:23 AM): HAHAHAH
colorizemylife (2:19:32 AM): HAHAH!
kileyenfrancais (2:19:33 AM): "Get in line, asshole." Ike replies
On Lauren and her love of Conan's rip-away suit (via Serena Williams/Wii interview)
kileyenfrancais (2:57:12 AM): Lauren: "Is that velcro i hear Conan?" Conan: "Why....yes, yes it is."
Lauren: "Velcro makes me *hot*."
kileyenfrancais (2:57:21 AM): Conan: "Hoho, does it....rawr"
colorizemylife (2:57:23 AM): hahahahaahhah
kileyenfrancais (2:58:20 AM): Max wanders across camera, "Oh where oh where could my ratcake gone oh where oh where could it be?"
colorizemylife (2:58:26 AM): HAHAHAH
colorizemylife (2:58:34 AM): Max is always wanting the ratcake
colorizemylife (2:58:38 AM): when will he learn...
We are such dorks.